quick poll on rape!?

Question

Few questions-
If a girl is drunk and passes out and man has sex with her is this the girl or the mans fault?
If a girl is walking home in the dark on her own and she's been out for a night out and is wearing a short skirt and she gets raped is it her fault or the mans?
If a girl has had a lot of sexual partners and someone knows this and forces her to have sex is this her fault or his?
If a girl is out and not wearing any knicekrs and gets raped is this her fault or his?
Just wondering what peoples view are - personally in all these cases the man is to blame! but unforntunatly some people in the judicial system think that these factors matter.
Similar cases to all of the above have been brought to court and thrown out for the reasons i have mentioned.
Im interested in your views!

just to add another point - i think people who cry rape are the total scum of the earth!! rape isnt about sex its about power and it shouldnt matter what the person is wearing or how much they have had to drink. I cant reiterate this enough - as someone said prostitutes have been raped. It still isnt there fault. Also as someone else said women should be allowed to go out naked if they want.
Rape is rape! doesnt matter what the cicrumstances!
It saddens me to think some people actually think different situations can change the nature of it!

Mike H, I couldnt agree with you more the way the courts deal with the rape victim and the rape defendent is despicable and you are very right men can be raped too - by women and men! and your right it happens a lot more than people think. I dont have current stats to hand but it is getting higher and this is a worry in itself!
I think your right both the victim and the accused are treated as criminals before a jury has reached a verdict and this is no good and needs to be changed.
And you are right as i mentioned before women who cry rape are the scum of the earth, not only do they put an innocent man through a terribkle time, at work, within his family and friends and the wider social circle he will move in, but also these women create a sense of mistrust in rape trials. The judge and jury may think the women is making it up and this puts enormous pressure on a raped woman.

Mike H, I couldnt agree with you more the way the courts deal with the rape victim and the rape defendent is despicable and you are very right men can be raped too - by women and men! and your right it happens a lot more than people think. I dont have current stats to hand but it is getting higher and this is a worry in itself!
I think your right both the victim and the accused are treated as criminals before a jury has reached a verdict and this is no good and needs to be changed.
And you are right as i mentioned before women who cry rape are the scum of the earth, not only do they put an innocent man through a terribkle time, at work, within his family and friends and the wider social circle he will move in, but also these women create a sense of mistrust in rape trials. The judge and jury may think the women is making it up and this puts enormous pressure on a raped woman.

GRUMPLES: the situations you have desribed are not rape!! they are people lying!!
dont confuse real rape with lies!
The fact your mate was a liar and claimed some man raped her doesnt mean that when someone else walks home in a short skirt and gets raped that they deserved it!
Its those attitudes that destroy the chances of many rape cases getting to court

grumples, i must say the argument you have is no different to what many people think, however i feel from what you've said that you have blurred the lines between when someone cries rape because they dont remember having consented (in the being stoned case you were speaking about) and when someone has had to much to drink and has sex forced upon them,
It is a fine line and it is a difficult line for someone who isnt one of the two people involved to work out, however there is a difference!
This is my point, the woman who 'forgets' she consented is going to be in turmoil herself but the woman who is raped is probably not going to go tot he police becuase of the fine line. - if u see what i mean.
I think attitudes need to change and i do think that from what you have said your view is squewed by having experienced people crying rape!
Or maybe mine is sqewed by what happened to me!

grumples. I think we're almost at the same place just slightly differeing angles of it!
I do think that a woman walking down a street late at night on her own in a skimpy outfit is putting herself at a level on danger and i would advise any woman not to do this! however if she does and something happens to her then it isnt her fault!
I think this is where our opinions differ - i think you believe that if it can be avoided then the victim is not totally blamesless whereas i think even if avoidable the victim still holds no blame.
I hope that I've got what you've been saying and that ive not caused too much offence even tho apparantly this question really pissed you off!!!!

Grumples question i asked wasn't a direct dig at you it was more a vent of my anger! thanks for the apology as i did find your ealier remarks quite offensive but i think now we should call a truce!

I think my other issue was that this is something quite personal to me and i am bound to be more emotively challenged by peoples words than someone who isnt personally affected by it!

Answer 1

This is an absolutely huge topic, too big and emotional to be discussed in a quick poll.

You are quick to blame the 'man' in all these hypothetical cases, and I agree, in these cases it may well be.

But what about men who get raped? It can and does happen, maybe less so than women, but statistics are misleading because men are even less likely to come forward or even consider the attack rape than women are.

And these details are often prudent in a court of law because the most common defence was that the person who was raped did not consent, but the person accused says that they did consent, so these details are often prudent to decide exactly what happened.

Basically I think everyone will agree that no one ever 'deserves' or 'asks' to be raped, no matter who/where they are or what they were doing/wearing/etc. It is perhaps the single most despicable crime one can do to another person and those who are truly guilty of it do not deserve to live.

But what about the issue of consentual sex where the woman later decides to cry rape?

What about the issues of innocent mens lives who are ruined because of false accusations whilst the anonymous woman can accuse different men time and time again and keep her anonymity, whilst past accusations are never taken into consideration?

What about the despicable way the police and courts treat both the accused and the accuser? It's not right that a person who is raped has to explain every single one of their actions/dress sense/etc in front of a hostile court, neither is it right that an accused person is presumed guilty before innocent and is labelled as a rapist often before the trial even begins.

I would ask you to think about all these things and all the other issues surrounding rape, don't be so quick to judge. I know that this is an extremely emotive subject, and perhaps rightly so, but if true reform is going to happen in the courts then this issue needs to be looked at really objectively.

Answer 2

Women never asked to be raped, no matter how drunk they are, how short their skirt is. It is still their right to say no.

Not many rape cases even make it to court, there is always lack of evidence usually one persons word against another. Obviously there is going to be a lack of witnesses and usually by the time a rape is reported then there is no physical evidence.

Women are made to feel like they are on trial, in the past they have been quizzed about what underwear they wore, how many sexual partners they had. A lot of women actually say this cross examining in court is like being raped all over again.

Every woman can be raped, whether they are prostitutes who sell their body or a woman walking home from work. No man has the right to take something away from women in this horrific manner.

Edit: Dollybird - a woman can be raped wearing a boiler suit. Rape is not about controlling 'what is in their pants', it is about power and control. It is not about sex. Rapists control their victims and make them powerless and this is what they are seeking.

Answer 3

If a woman doesn't consent to sex, it is rape.
However, taking on board many men's totally hypocritical view of sex, no woman should wear a prostitutes's uniform either ie too short a skirt, too low cut a top, etc etc.
There is no such thing as a woman "asking to be raped", but many women do send out mixed signals. And some men are too stupid /arrogant/convinced of their own desirability to ask. In my opinion, anyone who blames a woman for the rape, is looking for an excuse.
However, again, we live in a very sexual society. Some people seem to take it for granted that sex is available on tap, all the time.

Answer 4

This would all be the man's fault in these cases

But also have a think about this:-

If two drunk people get together and have sex is it either of their faults in the morning in one of them regrets it?

If a girl wakes up the next day and decides to claim rape because deep down she regretted what she did - is that ok?

Is it ok for the accused to be identified and the victim not in court cases - why not both?

There needs to be some equality.

No one had the right to non consensual sex but no one should be damaged because they were wrongly accused by someone feeling guilty or in denial or looking for some sort of revenge.

Answer 5

All are rape! I do feel though that women should take a little more care and avoid certain situations. For example getting drunk to the point were they are oblivious.
Where should we stand when two people are drunk and cannot consent as such yet have sex. Is that rape? Both parties are engage in an act that neither may consent to as such yet the may will end up with legal responsibility for it.
Women should also not dress in a way that encourages men to view them as a potential sexual partner. Girls dressed as tarts will invite unwanted attention.

Answer 6

If the girl hasn't consented to having sex then it's obviously the mans fault. Saying that, drink does pay a large roll in decisions. If you are drunk and can't remember everything that happened when you got drunk then you haven't a chance of proving anything. If someone is so drunk they pass out, then the chances are they aren't going to remember very much up to the point of passing out. Therefore, as a lot of people do things out of character when their drunk, they could not be certain that they didn't agree to it, and this is the likely stance the police and the courts would take.

Answer 7

Rape is rape and no matter what the girl does eg dresses, acts, whether she has slept about in the past or not this does not give any man the right to think that he can sleep with her against her will. With regards to if a girl is drunk and passes out and a man has sex with her, under these circumstances you would imagine that the man would not sleep with her out of respect. If a girl says no NO should be the answer

Answer 8

I'd say that it would be the guys fault in all cases. I would however add that the woman has to admit her stupidity in getting drunk enough to not realise what was happening in the first case. It's not that rape should really be a punishment for stupidity though so I don't really think that the defence attorneys have much of a case. It could be said that the woman consented whilst drunk though and it would be hard to prove otherwise if she was so drunk she couldn't remember fully. I wouldn't like to think of us guys going to prison due to the woman accepting our advances when drunk.

Answer 9

It's the man's fault. But just like it would be the driver of a car's fault if he hit someone walking on the street, it is the pedestrian - not the car - that would be injured, or killed. The women in the above examples need to protect themselves. They need to prevent themselves from getting into those situations that will put them at risk. Of course it's the man's fault, and he should be prosecuted, but it's the woman who gets hurt. Regarding the court system and why it's so dis-functional... that's everyone's fault.

Answer 10

i totally agree with you but i don't think thats how the courts have seen it in some cases as the women were too drunk and cant remember the details they can be unsure of whats actually happened.
i have read before were women have been drunk and regretted having sex with the man so cried rape.
women should be allowed to wear and drink as much as they want without the fear of rape though i despise the women who have claimed to of been raped and an innocent man has be ridiculed for it