What would you do?

Question

My wife of six years has turned into this lazy selfish woman and I dont know what other ave. I should go down. I've tried everything from counseling to giving in and nothing seems to work. We both work 40hr. work weeks and have four kids. She works in the evenings and I work from 4 am to 1230. I do all of the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of our kids. She thankfully puts our kids on the bus in the morning goes back to sleep and then works from 2-10p. I stay up every night for her till 11p and all she does is get on computer and plays video games most of the time. Other times she does school work online but 85% of time she plays games and doesnt seem to care about anything else and expects me to tip toe around her becasue she has it so hard with work and school! Then as if cooking and cleaning isnt enough she has the gull to complain about anything that doesnt go her way and starts fights. She blows money on stupid stuff like shoes when kids need cloths. What do you think? Is it me

Answer 1

Talk to her and explain your side and with deep and serious tone and open mind to feel and understand her situation, talk to any people that could help you including her family, relatives, friends and consult psychologists and counsellor about your problem.....

Answer 2

First of all .. dont listen to those who tell u to get therapy or marriage counseling .. they dont know that only YOU can fix this and u a mature adult who can

Look friend .. housewifes sometimes need a break to re-charge themselves and get on their feet again .. and u should help her with that too (plz do) go out together on a date or take a whole day at a hotel with the service and all and pamper urselves .. if u r too busy then tell her to take a day off from kids and house work and even the computer screen and tell her to go to a spa or a beauty salon and spoil herself for a day
treat her like a wife not a vacuum cleaner and when she's ready to stand on her feet she will

Besides .. maybe she thinks that u dont appreciate her and she's showing u what is feels without her taking care of the house

be nice .. tell her u miss that time when she cooked that yummy meal .. or say that the house is a mess and need some cleaning and OFFER UR HELP and DO HELP HER

Pamper ur wife a little bit .. show her how much u appreciate her .. that's all what i have to say

Answer 3

She is acting out her discontent. Could even be discontent with herself. And your schedules are not helping. There is no way you two can have proper "together" time with that scheduling. I know it's probably so you don't need a babysitter, but you have to see it's not working. No, it's not you, it's BOTH of you. Poor communication, lack of quality time, overworked, stressed. I know when I am stressed preparing for exams or doing assignments, I do play games and come on YA because sometimes it's the only way to handle the stress. Better than drinking or eating myself to death. So, number 1 is get the communication open. What are your goals as a family? etc. Then go from there.

Answer 4

ummm.....have you tried these?

-disable the computer or unplug it

-introduce her to everyone as Miss Universe or your Beloved Bride

-does she have to work? She's obviously overwhelmed with full-time work, school, and the children.

-she is using online time and shopping for alone time she needs - some people need it more than others, to collect their thoughts and wind down. Try playing soft music (classical, or piano) to soothe the home invironment and her nerves and give her a neck rub.

"Is it me?" - I don't think so unless you have a bad attitude or a bad mouth. I think something needs to change for her to change. Are there ways you and she could better organize the household, schedules, etc. Such as doing a lot of cooking one afternoon or morning and freezing it into your family's sized portions and maybe getting a "mother's helper" to come in for a few hours a week.

Hang in there - the children need you both.

Joy to you!

Answer 5

Maybe you should try marriage counseling. It seems like she is taking you for granted. Work and school are hard, but she seems to be ignoring the fact that she also has a family to think about. She should at least make some time to spend with you and the kids after school and work instead of playing games on the computer. It's just inconsiderate and extremely selfish.

Answer 6

There are three sides to every story yours, hers and the truth. Your wife is working full time and going to school. It is bit rough when you are pulled in so many directions. She is at work when the kids need supper and can't be there to fix it for them. So why not step up to the plate and handle what needs to be done. If you getting up at 3 then you need to be in bed way before 11p to get enough rest. Why must you wait up on her? As far as buying shoes when kids need clothes. I would be a little upset about that.

Answer 7

Your issues in this situation are almost endless. I personally would throw in the towel. Being together for the sake of the kids is not a good idea. It only serves to give them poor role models in regards to relationships. Life is too short to be miserable. I just wouldn't do it. This is all, of course, easier said than done. I know this from personal experience.

Answer 8

dude, a couple with four kids both parents working and one going to school on top of it, i dont see how y'all manage to have time to cook or be lazy. before i divorced, we had 5 kids, both worked, all the kids in sports and i was in school. we made a chart for chores, everyone in the house, from taking trash out to laundry to fixing dinner. schedules for chores including homework, earned privileges, dinner and more. we even had a schedule for shower times. myself and ex were included on the charts, chores included. it was fair and it worked for us. the charts were made weekly, and had a place to check off for each day of the week. its worth trying. good luck no matter what you try, and it may take try a lot of different things.

Answer 9

You have life.. but your not acting like adults.
Tell her the computer is not her life but you and the kids. if she wants to cuddle up to the computer she better pack her stuff and get a laptop. Otherwise I would suggest counseling.. 4 kids don't need to see their Mom addicted to a computer when she is supposed to be paying attention to their needs. You are doing good keeping up the home but you are burning out. Talk to a minister, priest or rabbi.. at least they don't cost as much as civilians.

Answer 10

i play video games when i am frustrated... i find a sense that things work the way i want them in a video game but they do not in my life... there seems to be a formula in a video game and hence easy to comprehend but life is so complicated, it doesn't mean that if you do what is right you will get rewarded and at times get punished for doing the right thing...

your wife needs to grow... hiding behind video games will not fix anything or make things right... even if she feels trapped, it will not free her...

my question is, what did you promise her and what promise did you fail to deliver? have level off her expectation?

Answer 11

If this were a woman complaining abotu a man doing this you;d have so much sympathy- Get as many fiancial documents as yu can of her misspendong (esp if the kids are going without) and find soem fake divorce docs. If she balsk, get some real ones. That isnt a marriage, its a torture chamber. Your wife is evil please let her know I said this.