my spouse left and took our kids to a different state and she wants to get a seperation and i fell that we can work out our problems if we just sit down and talk, even if it is with a counselor. but she thinks it would be pointless
2007-11-04 16:09:28 · 9 answers · asked by ike_humphries 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, one of two things, either it is really over because there is someone else already on her mind or in it or you really, really really hurt her and she does not know how she is going to make it but she is going to face her future without you if you don't do something to make it better.
Make your life look inviting to her again. Tell her that you are going to do this and that you will do whatever it takes to be together because you love her and the kids. Be really thoughtful of her and what she says like you were when you first met. Make it be something that she wants to live in again and then ask her to come home to the place that is really only a house without her and the kids there. Tell her that even if you don't understand what part you are doing wrong that you are willing to find out what it is and fix it. Tell her you don't know how but you will learn to change. Then do those things. That is what will work.
2007-11-04 17:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by scsspace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The title of your question caught my attention....it struck me as a bit controlling "how do I GET my spouse to let me back...?" Maybe a better question would be "How can I behave in such a way that my spouse will WANT me back in her life". You don't really give enough information to illicit an accurate response but in general I would say a few things: 1)Space;sometimes all of us, maybe even you, simply need some space to get their thoughts together 2) Don't give ultimatums or threats...it is the easiest way to end any relationship for good 3) Sometimes it is easier to say what you mean in a carefully worded (but straight from the heart) letters. It is also often easier for the other party to listen to! 4) If your spouse doesn't think the two of you can work out your problems you should still make sure that you try and keep communication up with the children i.e. send cards, money to help care for them, etc. Don't use the kids to punish each other 5) Get in touch with an attorney if you have a legal right to be with the kids, don't let them slip away. In certain situations it is illegal to take children across state lines and only an attorney can advise you of your rights. Good luck!
2007-11-04 16:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by Glued 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she think its pointless? Maybe there is a deeper meaning into why she left.
2007-11-04 16:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, what caused the separation? if it was cheating, then a divorce is the ONLY answer. all else can be worked out, but only if both parties want to work it out. sounds like she doesn't. the only thing you can do is talk to her about it.
2007-11-04 16:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends. What did you do to make her want to leave?
2007-11-04 16:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
man im in the exact same position get a lawyer and fight for custody forget her !!!
2007-11-04 16:12:27 · answer #6 · answered by Pacman 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if it was because of cheating . she is right it.s pointless to even try . my opion?
2007-11-04 17:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well what did you do?
You must have done something to piss her off.
2007-11-04 16:12:24 · answer #8 · answered by Danni D. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, learn how to speak. Please, for the sake of humanity.
2007-11-04 16:13:03 · answer #9 · answered by freakiiboy2009 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋