It's hard to explain...but even though I like myself, whenever I see people on TV, or girls like me doing so much and succeed so much, it makes me jealous. Like I really want to be them and I envy them. How do I stop these feelings?
2007-11-04 15:43:47 · 5 answers · asked by Ms. Phoebe 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think you are not jealous in the sense that you like everything they have. I think a better description on what you feel is you are motivated to have what they have, reach what they have reached. Of course, a little bit of envy comes with it,
I suggest you assess yourself. Do some self-discovery. Find out what your good at, what's your strengths and weaknesses. Discover what you can do with your talents and what opportunities you have that can maximize your potential. If you are good in science, join the science club. Nerdy as it can be, it will maximize your science potential that can help you in the near future- say competing for a quiz bee.
If you love to dance, take workshops. Join dance groups in school. This will help hone your potential.
The best way to look at these "jealousy" of yours is to channel it into a positive way. I got jealous when a friend of mine got academic awards so what I did was I maximized my potential. I reviewed, studied in advanced, asked questions, participated in class and befriended teachers (its part of it). And the next semester, I am there on stage receiving academic awards. Use your jealousy wisely. And NEVER compete with these people you are jealous of. Befriend them, be nice to them. They may help you in one way or another.
Lots of Luck.
Margz
2007-11-04 16:01:07 · answer #1 · answered by coolblueacid 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By focusing on what it takes to be successful, which is hard work. Most leaders at any level became leaders by pitching in to help. Volunteer for something in your community and get to meet other people. You not only build new contacts but also get a sense of how they operate in dealing with people and the work at hand. The more involved you become in your community, the better you will feel about yourself.
Think of volunteering as a way for your community to get to know you and all the good things you have to offer as a member of your community. Its a good way to build a reputation as someone they can count on, rely on, and enjoy in any project.
2007-11-04 23:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by curiousN 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think that you are not doing enough? That other peoples accomplishments are of more value than yours? You are a valuable person in your own right. You care about others around you and are motivated to do the most you can anytime you start something. As you will learn as you grow older, the accomplishments of others are no reflection on you or your talents. Since you strive to do your best, you are fulfilling your part in the welfare of those around you. And that is all one can do.
2007-11-05 18:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by redd headd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you are not confusing the fact that you may have a desire to be like them, perhaps admire them and would like to live their life and that you may feel rather inferior and unaccomplished as compared to them...that is normal (to a certain extent)...but when those feelings are harbored and you act (lash) out on them, you are in essence sending out negative vibes to the world...and in return you will slowly become a negative (bitter) person, because you are focusing too much on what you don't have...
In quoting my favorite book "A Return to Love" by Marianne Williamson, "Everything we do is either an act of love or a cry for help." The Course of Miracles says there are only two emotions: love and fear.
It's been our experience that what's underneath jealousy is fear of one kind or another. Jealousy is about real or imagined fears--fear of abandonment, fear of loss of love, fear of being dishonored in the relationship, fear of being shamed in the community, unresolved issues from past relationships, lack issues, poor self esteem, cover or mask for things from the past that you haven't healed yet, vindictive or a desire for revenge that is misguided or misdirected toward someone else.
When jealous feelings come up, it's usually because we're afraid that we won't get our needs of one kind or another met. It's been our experience that when jealousy comes up, somewhere within us, we are crying out for help.
I recommend you start to work immediately on your thoughts, when you see the Green Eyed Monster approaching, try to change your mind-set and focus on what you have to offer as a person and what your personal goals may be...do not worry about everyone else's life...by focusing on others in a negative way you are keeping yourself from experiencing the true meaning of inner peace, one that can only achieved by feeling good about yourself (and others) and what you as a person can bring to the world (all of us have something to offer humanity)...by behaving in a jealous way you are depriving the world of you...
Don't be so hard on yourself, thinking positive most of the time takes a little bit of practice you have already taken the 1st step by realizing you have a problem in this area...this in my book is a start and places you on the path you need to be on...
Best of luck to you...you will be fine...
2007-11-05 00:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by Lulu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to develop confidence in who you are as an individual-how you are unique from everyone else. Once you develop confidence in who you are you will no longer get jealous of others. And then if for some reason someone doesn't like you, you just think to yourself-It's their loss. They are missing out on a great person. (Can be applied to dating as well)
2007-11-05 00:41:04 · answer #5 · answered by Citygirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋