How would you feel if someone said you are not black enough?

Question

Ok I am a light skined black women and my brother is darker. I don't listen to all Rap music somehow my brother said that meens I am not acting black! He called me an oreo! THAT IS JUST WRONG! How black is black enough? What am I to do wear a shirt or something?

Answer 1

I would be offended. But, a lot of people have stereotypical images about what it is to be black - of all races - including black people themselves. And discrimination is not exclusively white - it happens within different communities as well. I don't know how old you are, but I remember a lot of this kind of talk in my middle and high school and to a lesser extent, in my undergraduate college years. At that time, a lot of people are trying to find their identity - so people conform to very stereotypical ways of behaving. The jock, the nerd, the rapper, whatever. A lot of it is about identity formation - on the psychological level.

It sounds like your brother might also have a limited view of what black is. There are plenty of smart black people who don't listen to rap and who are light and dark skinned. Because he is darker, he might be experiencing the world differently than you are as well, because dark skinned black people are often treated even worse than light skinned people - by the larger society. So, he might be taking some of that frustration out on you. Also, your brother might be giving you a hard time because .... well, he's your brother. Siblings are sometimes mean to each other. Also, because they don't understand that when you get out in the real world, no matter what you listen to or how you speak, there will always be people who will think of you as a n*****.

My advice to you: just be yourself. Follow your interests, surround yourself with people who support and celebrate you. Of course you are black - and be proud of your heritage and of your skin color. It is how God made you. Brush off your brother's comments. The next time he calls you an oreo be very logical - very analytical with him. Ask him why. If he says something about rap music, be very logical with him. What happened before rap music - are you saying that harriet tubman wasn't black? What about martin luther king jr? There was no rap music then. Whatever he says, find black people who don't fit the stereotype and ask him about it. Does your mom and dad listen to rap? If they don't then you can say -- so mom, dad, and me aren't black .... what does that make you? You are the only black one in the family? He'll probably still argue but start to feel stupid - but I think also it will make him think about what he said.

Answer 2

All black people do not enjoy or experience the same things. So, rather you like rap music isn't the point. However, your interest, participation and contribution to black culture can, in some peoples opinion determine is you are "black enough"..

Answer 3

Most people who say those kinds of things do so because meeting a person like you threatens their identity. They believe "I am a X person, which means I look like Y and do Z." If they come across a person who is also X, yet doesn't do what they expect X people do, they become aggressive. These people are threatened by someone who doesn't act/behave/look like they do yet claims to be part of the same group.

For these people, their self worth comes not from their own actions or beliefs, but from their perceived membership of a group. If they come across a person who is also a part of that group but does not exhibit the traits the believer thinks they should exhibit, it threatens their self-identity.

So don't worry about it. These kinds of people have some problems they need to work on. You sound like you are self assured enough.

Answer 4

If they said it to me, I'd have to agree. I glow in the dark. I could use a little melenin.

Seriously though, what an a$$. He had no right to say that. It was rude and ignorant. Why should you limit yourself to what other people think is appropriate based souly on your race? How does one act black? Black folks were around long before there was rap music. Would he tell Martin Luther King he wasn't black enough? That's just crazy. I have to tell you, white folks are never told they aren't acting white enough. Love what you love. Be yourself.

Answer 5

OMG! I get this all of the time! And I hear "You are the whitest Black girl I've ever met." It's based on the way that I talk and the fact that I have goals. Apparently because of stereotyping, Black people cannot be a diverse group of people. We all have to be exactly the same-- listening to the same music, dressing the same, liking the same movies, speaking exactly alike. Just ignore it. There is no such thing as Black enough. Be yourself and be an example to whites and Blacks alike. Show everyone that Blacks are as diverse as whites.

Answer 6

I'd take it as a compliment. I'm not racist by any means, but the stereotypical "black" with loose clothes and rap blasting, is nothing short of obnoxious. I'm surrounded by that in this city. Most of my black friends are formerly from other countries, such as south africa and haiti and as a result, seem to act a bit more respectably.

So, take the comment in stride, as I'm sure you'll garner a bit more respect by avoiding rap and stereotypical insults.

Answer 7

wear a shirt! yes absolutely, that is EXACTLY what you do, LOL!
It's you bro, so I hope this isn't an issue, how old it the guy anyway?
Interesting that you picked up on the skin shade thing, do you know why you found that important to add?
Only act as yourself.

Answer 8

I have color too my skin and people have told me that I don't always act Black..FYI (I am Black,Puerto Rican , and Indian). So I had this happen many of times, there is no such thing as acting black. Just be yourself. You can like any type of food or music doesn't matter. Just too many STEROTYPES!!!!

Answer 9

If they said that to me, I would laugh. Because I realize how ignorant they are, and I feel happy to know that I can just ignore them. It's EXTREMELY ignorant to think that a race acts just one way. Actually I think that is straight out racist. So, if a black person says to another black person " you don't act like your race", they are somewhat racist. Remember that.

Answer 10

People of all races, creeds face this: it is just wrong. People who say such a thing are feeling insecure with themselves. Just be yourself, don't be upset with him, just tell him you need to be yourself, and he can be himself. Be cool! Be proud of yourself. You are right...THAT IS JUST WRONG.
Good luck in your dealing with this...