Can you CREATE a story using these phrases?? (JUST for fun...not H.W...only creative fun!)?

Question

1) So this is called a Butt Blaster?
2) When I lose these last twenty pounds I'll be gorgeous!!
3) Get Ready world....I'm about to_________!
4) How do I get my ______ to _______??
5) How do you like me now!!???

WOW!!!! great!

I LOVE both of these!!!!
I will be a coward and extend the deadline!! Hahaha!!

Answer 1

I have got to stop watching those infommercials on TV before I go broke, but some things I just can't resist. The other day they had this lady on there..a health expert they claimed..and the interviewer asked her. (4) How do I get my buns to look like that Carrie Underwood. If I looked like that, I'd be beating the men off with a stick. Well, the lady explained about a new invention, the Butt Blaster, guaranteed to give you buns that "just turned 20" look. Of course they could not show us the device on TV for fear the technology would be stolen by other companies, but she was looked very trustworthy and had a slew of degrees.

I had been on a diet for some time and had managed to lose a few pounds, but knew I could stand to lose a few pounds back there (Well, more than a few, more like 20).

So, on the lady's guarantee of future attractiveness, I dialed the number as I thought to myself "(3) Get Ready world...I'm about to become the real me again. (2) When I lose these last twenty pounds, I'll be gorgeous."

Having charged the $19.99, plus shipping and handling, I waited with great anticipation for the arrival of my own Butt Blaster and the loss of that wagon that had been following me around for years. I could not wait to use it so I could some day go down to my favorite club and say "(5) How do you like me now!!!?????

The package arrived a few days later. It was MUCH smaller than I anticipated. In fact, i almost missed it as I gathered my mail that day. The box was no more than 3 inches square and about an inch thick. Still, I hurriedly opened it and holding the contents in my hand thought "(1) So this is called a Butt Blaster?" It looked more like a roll of duct tape to me.

Wondering exactly how it could possibly help me, I opened up the one page of directions that came with it. The directions were quite simple, and perhaps they will work. I paid my money so I might as well try.

All I have to do is eat a toast and a small bowl of cereal each morning after which I apply a two-inch strip of the Butt Blaster over my mouth and leave it there until 6 PM. At that time, it may be removed and I can eat a can of waxed beans after which I reapply the tape until morning. I am to repeat this process daily until the tape is gone or the 20 pounds is lost.

Well, nothing else has worked so maybe this will. I am off to give my new Butt Buster a try. Wish me luck, and please excuse me if I don't speak to you for a while.

Answer 2

Thelma Lou thought she had tried every diet and weight loss gadget known to mankind. But, when she saw the ad for the ALL IN ONE EXTREME BODY MAKEOVER KIT she couldn't resist trying one more desperate fling at her weight problem. After all, it came with an iron-clad, money back guarantee. Common sense went out the window as she stood hypnotized by the "after" photos of those tanned and trim REAL PEOPLE** who had finally beat the blubber blues.

In a rush, she laid her Master Card down on the counter. Visions of sugar buns danced in her head. That's how she thought of them, anyway. "Get ready world...I'm about to become the next Tyra Banks. When I lose these last twenty pounds I'll be gorgeous!!" Well, okay, maybe fifty, but once she was on a roll, she knew she could do it.

At home, she paraded into the living room with the box and sat it down on the throw rug. George, her husband of thirty years, was sitting there with his usual snack of pork rinds and beer, avidly watching a Red Sox game. "Lord, woman, you make a better door than a window," he said, motioning her away. "Can't you see I'm busy here?" Thelma paid him no mind. She was rummaging in the box. The first thing she pulled out was a long rubber band thingey with wheels on one end. "So this is called a Butt Blaster?" she mused. "How do I get my booty to move in that contraption? "Thelma, out of my way!" George bellowed. "Take that somewhere else!!" She did as she was told.

Three weeks came and went, and by Thelma's calculations, she had lost 3 1/2 pounds. The TASTY SNACKS included in the package were all gone. They weren't bad, but they had been so stingy. She had tried to make them last, but three weeks was pretty close to a month, wasn't it? The Butt Blaster was busted and her Tyra Banks look was about as far away as Venus.

The next Saturday, George came home to find his wife cocooned in saran wrap. Taking little baby steps, she shuffled through the door, motioning him forward. He couldn't make out what she was saying. If was all muffled by the plastic stuff. "OMG!" he shouted. "Thelma, honey, can you breathe in there?" His pocket knife was out in a flash. He got her face free and didn't like the looks of what he saw. It was purple and her eyes were bulging, so he sawed the rest of it off.

Pretty soon she was standing amidst a few hundred shredded yards of the stuff. She had been stark naked underneath. "What the....?" he trailed off. Thelma smiled broadly. "It's a cleansing body wrap. Supposed to make you drop 10 pounds in a day! How do you like me now!!???" she asked, turning in a circle. She started humming an old Rod Stewart song: if you love my body and you think I'm sexy....

George didn't know what to say. Watching her turn around like that didn't really arouse him. For some strange reason, it made him hungry. He headed for the cupboard. "Uh, looks great, hon," he lied. "I think I'm gonna have a little snack. Care to join me? I'm having pork rinds."

THE END

**REAL PEOPLE results are not typical. Actual amount of weight loss may vary.

Answer 3

the former day I had an altercation with a saleslady who appeared like a wicked and advise human being. I requested her for help with chosing a diamond ring and he or she instructed me that I might want to seem in gown rings because i can not manage to pay for what they promote. That changed into preposterous because at the same time as I appeared like i did not have the money........I did. She lost a sale. I rambled around the mall and handed a sweet keep . I entered and offered some gummi bears to ease my bruised ego. Then I heard the hearth alarms bypass off and the safe practices guards were escorting everone out of the mall. all of us scrambled to safe practices as quick as lets. at the same time as i changed into status outside the mall, i talked about a pathway to get to different shops. i really needed to get something warmth to drink to take the nippiness off my bones, because it changed into chilly and moist. I chanced on a Starbucks espresso keep and it appeared so inviting. so I went in and the line changed into so very lengthy yet really truly worth the wait. I ordered a double chocolate latte . It warmed my body and allayed my fears of the thrill and probability to the hearth contained in the mall. I kept my eyes on what changed into taking position at th mall. i might want to ensure it from the position i changed into seated. After evacuating the mall, I overheard someone in Starbucks say that it turned right into a bomb scare yet a pretend alarm and by no skill a hearth. The police were there too and stuck the culprits, that were 2 teen boys. They were taken away contained in the squad automobile and that i could not help yet imagine that this changed into justice and not one of the culprits were going to getaway with what they'd executed. I felt blessed that all of us changed into danger-free and sound which includes me!