my husband dont act the same he dont love on me or tell me i'm pretty or anything nomore i think it is cause i've gained some weight cause when we first got togeather i was small but know i'm bigger i try to go on a diet but he want let me i've tried to get diet pills but he want let me he says your fine the way you are?????? i dont understand he allways held my hand in public know he dont even act like i'm there but he want let me lose weight why????????????
2007-11-04 13:56:04 · 13 answers · asked by amber 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hmmm well do not worry about that it will drive you crazy try to figure out what some one thinks. #1 you need to talk about it but not in a needy way.2 just start enjoying life and start working out but for yourself and not him 3you need to say something like this I want you to hold my hand in public I am yours and act like it
2007-11-04 14:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by chris d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooh I am sorry to hear that, unfortunatly I can relate to that It was the same for me for such a long time and I used to always ask my husband why he would hold my hand in public or show any affection and his answer was always the same I am not like that I dont do it because I am not affectionate like that, I would always say well you were different before when we were dating but finally it hit me that it wasnt somuch that I had gained a fe w punds here and there is just that men aren't really all lovely and that yes although they are are loveable at first thats justa front because they are trying to get in your pants and because its something new, but after a few years of marriage things change and we get used to each other and we are not the same anymore. My best advice is stop asking him to hold your hand and ignore hima little bit also and you might see a change because now he is going to wonder why you are not demanding any affection so he might start giving it to you. good luck
2007-11-04 22:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by lil 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really deeply sorry to have to say this and I don't want to hurt your feeling's but maybe he is noticing other girl's that are like really thin and he think's of the day you and him met and he fell for the skinnyness and that is what he want's back. I have had 2 kid's and I am fat as heck, {not really but I have gained weight} and I think that I need to go on a diet but my husband won't let me. The only thing I can think of is {weight gain} is proubly because you might be pregnant. Have you checked to see if you were? If not, do it. If you are, Congrats and that could be the answer and DON"T TAKE DIET PILLS. Don't let your husband or anyone else tell you that you need a diet! That is for you to decide and for you to decide only!
2007-11-04 22:20:26 · answer #3 · answered by imtheonenobodylikes 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like a control issue. Since you've gained some weight, he feels like you're less likely to stray.
Why else would he stop you from being healthy and looking good? Many guys get into that "comfort" stage and don't feel the need to romance or act sweet, anymore.
You're going to have to let him know how you're feeling.
You may have to give him a wake up call and just start going for runs...or to the gym. You don't need his permission to go out and better yourself.
Just start buying healthier food and eating in moderate proportions.
2007-11-04 22:04:31 · answer #4 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are practically panicking. Calm down hon! If your husband says you are fine the way you are, believe him. (Hon, men are simple creatures, they really aren't as deep as women are, trust me.) You are worried about your weight. Just start eating better and moving more, this one is more about you, sweetie. I know this is personal, but have you slowed down on sex b/c of your self image? Do you think you aren't sexy anymore? Men speak in 2 languages, sex and food, but mainly sex. Trust me, start initiating sex and he'll be opening up the doors for you again in no time!
For him to tell you that you are fine the way you are is him telling you to get over how bad you feel about yourself, you are still sexy to him and he wants/needs some lovin'. An all nighter in the bedroom will fix this one, not some diet pills! LoL. Go and have fun with your husband and stop worrying so much! Take care!
2007-11-04 22:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by BrutalBaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all that is wrong for him to be doing that to you especially if it because you have gained weight.. But on the other hand it goes both ways, have you tried to hold his hand or show him affection... Sometimes it is good for you to be the aggressor in the relationship.. Here try this, don't say nothing to him and do to him what you would want him to do to you at that moment.. Good Luck!!!!!!!!
2007-11-04 22:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by brandy d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its sad to say that after you are married the affection from your partner will usually lessen as time goes by....trust me im in the same situation right now. The best thing you should do is lose weight ONLY IF YOU WANT TO. do it to make yourself feel better not to gain the approval or affection of someone else. Who knows, once you have lost the weight he might complain that you are not paying attention to him. what goes around comes around.
2007-11-04 22:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by Babygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how you feel maybe he thinks that becaus eyou have reached the comfort level in your relationship is okay to stop doing those little things that attracted us to them in the first place. Just have heart to heart conversation if he cares about you he will make an effort to do those little in significant things that meant so much to us like stating were so beautiful while we go to bed. Good Luck hun and keep us up to date.
2007-11-04 22:44:06 · answer #8 · answered by Mari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the one with the problem about your weight is you. I think if he had a problem with it, he'd let you diet, don't you? This sounds like maybe it's on you, girlfriend. Try not to turn your fears into things you think he feels. My husband does that all the time. He thinks all these things about himself and turns that into how I feel and it just isn't true.
2007-11-04 22:31:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's a jerk and doesn't love you the way you are. I don't know much else to tell you besides that. I think that he's scum and he doesn't deserve you. This is a form of mental and emotional abuse, and there is no reason you should stand for it. I went through the same thing with an ex of mine, and kicked myself for not dumping him earlier. I hope you figure out what you NEED to do for yourself, and not what he wants you to do, or what you want to do for him. In the end, he's not going to be worth it.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for you in the end.
2007-11-04 22:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by Freke 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋