Why do some women want to regulate other women?

Question

is it because they are threatened by them and don't want to be put behind? What other reasons could there be? All these talks about unity, equality and oppresion, yet women are each other's worst enemy sometimes.

I believe in a free market, private ownership and deregulation. Competition is great for growth and if you can win, more power to you, but I'm not going to campaign for rules and regulations to control the outcome. Besides, I'm inspired when I see a beautiful or intelligent woman, I take notes to see what I can learn.

What's all this time and effort spent on what other women do, what they decide to wear, what impact they have on men etc. Why can't we just take care of our own and support the next door neighbor, instead of hating and attempting to control?

Gnu & Egn: Great points. This is not just regarding appearance, but also lifestyle and other areas of life. You have a good point though, if a woman is not attractive they make fun of her, if she's attractive they try to bring her intelligence down or find something else wrong.

I love women and the idea of all women sharing a sisterhood and uplifting each other...but I have a hard time tolerating when the sentiment is not shared and a woman is trying to bring another down.

The Mrs: Thank you :) I was actually thinking about your earlier question about judging traditional women and that partially inspired this question.

Steven D: I just used that as a way of describing how I feel about competition and other women, just using an economic/political system analogy...my mind relates things to politics and economics sometimes, although they are not related LOL

Steven D: Nobody can deny that competition exists. But I also a "neoidealist" (sorry for the analogy again LOL)...we can jointly benefit from cooperation.

Gnu: "social control. Whenever someone decides that all tradition is inherently suspect and that we need, not just reform but an overhaul of every aspect of culture, there's an inevitable slide toward totalitarianism."---exactly my thoughts

Shingo: I don't usually call people out too much until I'm really pushed and you have managed to get yourself there, so here you go... I have been the same person since I got on here, with the same personality, looks, attire, pictures and values. As I recall, I received numerous emails from you, you stalking me on Myspace, asking to see my pictures, numerous other emails admiring my intelligence and asking me to please comment on your questions---none of which I responded to. The only difference between then and now that you're campaigning against me and who I am, is you having been rejected. Be a grown man about it, deal with it and get off my case.

I'm intelligent and physically attractive, financially and professionally more successful than you, double my age. I live a happy and fullfilling life with men who respect me. I help young girls who have been sexually molested and I'm in the process of foster child--take all that early pregnancy & role model talk excuse to put me

down and get off your butt and invest that time and energy into teaching a child how to read or doing some volunteer work. Your hypocracy is not going to do much around here. Get a life! And I haven't blocked you just yet, but you get on my nerve being one of my fans and having access to all my questions and constantly having to put yourself in the mix. Get over it, get over yourself and leave me alone! You're my dad's age, you should be ashamed!

Thank you my ET :)

Shingo: Hahaha, I was just going through my emails and bumped into another funny emails of yours. You become my fan to be able to see my questions and answer them. I never added you back. Then you sent me an email complaining that I'm asking too many questions that do not relate to GWS, and the excessive emails that are automatically sent to you each time I ask a question are annoying LOL, so you're taking me off--I didn't respond. Then you added me again, telling me you're adding me back because now you have more people in your contact and my questions won't dominate your inbox LOL. Talk about violating someone's privacy, inviting yourself into their space, then taking the freedom to criticize what they do. You're a piece of work LOL

Answer 1

That's a mystery on to itself; sometimes it's better to just do as you do and say as you say without expecting to win any popularity contests. You know let life flow; do your thing; only expecting from others only what they can give, no more and no less. The truth is we can't all agree and we can't all like each other and there are times we never respect each other. Yet, life will always go on.

Answer 2

It's a difficult question, isn't it? I cannot accept that an undifferentiated bunch of cells has more rights than the fully grown adults who are responsible for its existence. I also cannot accept that it's right to kill a foetus when it's fully developed and due to be born. Logically then, there has to be a point somewhere in between that I decide, on the basis of conscience, is the point at which abortion becomes unacceptable. I don't know enough about it to have a definite view where that point lies, but it must lie somewhere in the 9 months of pregnancy. It's in the nature of life that there are no easy answers to this kind of question, as it's a matter of subjective opinion rather than objective fact - and my opinion is that abortion cannot be wrong, per se, therefore government has to regulate it but it has to be sensible about what is allowed and what is outlawed.

Answer 3

I don't understand the connection between free markets and what women wear to the supermarket.

I also think that a capitalist system does many things very well--it produces consumer goods at reasonable cost to those who want them--it generally creates a more efficient system of production.

But it also screws some things up terribly. Things that are too big to be controlled by a corporate structure (health-care), things that are too diverse (public school systems), it generally does a terrible job at and is more inefficient than government or community run initiatives.

Things that are done for the common welfare, for example, fire and police protection, clean drinking water, sewage systems, etc., are also done far better by municipal government (socialism in action), than by capitalist systems of production.

But I still don't see how this has any connection to miniskirts.

Adds--If anything, the anomalous situation to your system of deregulation and free market competition would be MORE competition amongst women.

Answer 4

I'm not sure for the most part. But I can tell you that I've wondered why women are so competitive...especially when it comes to men. Because it seems like women are always fighting each other over a man. But the thing is, the men they fight over aren't necessarily anyone special. And it's certainly not like the average woman can't just go out and find her own man easily. Because men are ALWAYS looking for women. So if a woman doesn't get one man, all she has to do it go out in public and there will be 100 other men checking her out. So what's there to worry and fight about?

Plus, it seems impossible for women to win against each other because if a woman doesn't dress hot enough, then other women make fun of her for not knowing how to dress right. But if she dresses hot, then they make fun of her for looking trashy. And there's no in between because if a woman doesn't like another woman, she's going to pick one of those two options to criticize her about no matter what.

Answer 5

Well, most feminists, I think it's fair to say, do not believe in free markets or deregulation, and many don't believe in private property. My own views are, I suspect, to the left of yours as well, though I do believe in a regulated mixed economy. But people like Hayek make me circumspect about the dangers of totalitarianism, even in the name of people's own good.

Feminism is an ideology that inevitably tends toward social control. Whenever someone decides that all tradition is inherently suspect and that we need, not just reform but an overhaul of every aspect of culture, there's an inevitable slide toward totalitarianism.

Another reason I reject feminism, even if I support women's equal participation in the political and economic spheres and equal opportunity.

EDIT

"Group well-being" is always the mask that tyrants hide behind. Hitler's rhetoric saw the need to protect the Volk, those united by Blut und Boden (blood and soil), and preserve the organism of the German people. And of course, Stalinists always cared about the welfare of the "group", always neglecting that groups are made of individuals.

EDIT

Shingo, speaking out against hateful speech by members of your community is NOT the same as trying to dictate to members of your community how to dress. I am sure Cos thinks guys wearing their pants hanging around their knees look as foolish as I do, but that's not the same as degrading other people by calling them all sorts of slurs. if Cos went around complaining about stupid fashions all the time, I'd say he was being foolish. But when he talks about casual use of the N-, B-, and H-words, that's a whole different story.

Answer 6

While I do believe that part of our nature as humans is the community with one another, I also think that in society we have embraced a sort of "pack mentality", where people who have similar views and interests usually remain in packs, because they validate each other, this especially is the case among women, or so I've noticed.
Perhaps one of the reasons competitiveness becomes an issue is because of someone who is not considered part of that group, with different views that may seem to challenge or interfere with the objectives of X "pack" (whichever kind they may be).

Another reason I think, for the competitive spirit among many women is lack of confidence, self-worth and identity. In society, especially Western, women are constantly targeted by the media - advertisements, popular culture, music, television, etc, and made to think they are not up-to-date and "good enough" for this society unless they have this, that or the other, once a woman slips into that mental prison (if you will) that is so easy to fall into, other women become competitors in the race to who is the smartest, best looking, more interesting or sexy, etc...and gaining the admiration of men is part of that.
There are other reasons, I am sure, but from a woman's point of view and having dealt with annoying competitiveness among women, it's what I can think of, for now, if something else comes to mind, I will come back and post an edit.

As you know, my way of handling women whom I feel are trying to compete with me is to avoid them, I don't like to associate with people whom are takers, not satisfied with themselves, so they hate others for it.

Good question for this section. :-)

Answer 7

these are great questions to bring up. One place to start looking for answers is culture and social structure. In contemporary Western culture, one of the main values is individualism. When we look at that paired with the basis of Western social structure we see social stratification. Individualism and a hierarchy based social environment isn't very conducive to solidarity, community, or equality. Sure there are examples of these things but to the degree that they would be encouraged by individualism and hierarchies is not what it could be if the main values were more about group wellbeing and egalitarian practices.

Answer 8

I think its a feeling of inferiority. I cant deny that I it doesn't happen to me sometimes because it does, however I usually try to ignore it more than try to control the situation...I know those who do though.

I have really been amazed and many of your answers and really feel that I can agree with most of what you believe. I do wish I could express myself more like you do.

Answer 9

That's because those women are jealous and insecure. Bringing others down to their level makes them feel important and better about themselves. The only things you can do about them is to not listen to what they have to say and try to avoid them.

Answer 10

well, honestly, i can completely understand how some women don't like to see others getting special treatment because of the way they look or their status.

it's not easy watching others get what you simply know you cannot have. and it's really not fair when people say that those beautiful women for example, deserve that special treatment just because they're beautiful. there are women who are not pretty, but they deserve the same as any pretty woman.