How do you regain the trust of your spouse or can you? If your spouse continues to check out your e-mail, phone records, will you go along with this or get mad? How much should you allow if you are the one who cheated?
2007-11-04 13:26:14 · 20 answers · asked by Christina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trust is a very, very hard thing to regain. The cheating spouse has to realize that even though the other may eventually forgive them, that they will never forget. The cheating spouse has to be able to make every effort to show the other that they are the only one for them. The cheating spouse also has to allow for the insecurities of email and such because , no, they don't trust you right now. The cheated spouse has to be able to control the emotions that come along with the thought of their spouse cheating. They have to be willing to see the efforts being made to rebuild trust. Like I said, the cheater has to do the rebuilding. The cheated needs to allow it to be rebuilt. Good Luck!.
2007-11-04 13:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No probably never 100% trust....and you should allow as much checking and be an open book for as long as it takes, you are the one who betrayed the trust and you should be an open book until the other person is comfortable....of course, you should also go to marriage counseling etc....
You shouldn't stay in a marriage to be 'punished' however. Some people would actually stay, but instead of really focusing on moving past the betrayal, they would hang on to it, and throw it up every time there was a disagreement....this is also NOT working on the marriage.
2007-11-04 13:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me 10 years ago and i am know closer to forgiving my husband then i was the day i fount out about him and his ugly f u c k i n g whore. I stayed with my husband after that and our marriage is good but it's taken this long to mend my broking heart. All that crap about, in order to move on you need to forgive.That's bullshi t. Just because some counselors tell you that's how it works doesn't mean it will work for you.
If I'm not ready to forgive my husband then no one is going to tell me that if i don't forgive i won't move on. Me and my husband get along just fine and we love one another.
About your question you should allow the one who got cheated on to ask as many questions and you should put up with it until that person is either satisfy or if it takes 10 years which ever comes first and if you are not willing to put up with that then you shouldn't be there.
2007-11-04 14:29:26 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly thimgs will probably will never be the same, but if you are being honest you need to let ur spouse check everythingthey wants just so he or she can start believeing in you. You got to understand your partner because it must be stressful for your partner to constanly wonder about what you are doing. If you commited the t crime now you must do the time and although it must be stressfull for you too you need to put up with it if you want to regain some what his trust.
Good luck
2007-11-04 14:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by lil 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have been on both sides of this.....i have been cheated on and i have done some cheating. i am not afraid to admit to what i have done....it was wrong and harmed my family. what my husband did was wrong and harmed our family...he went out and had an affair with a married woman and they ended up having a kid together. here we are 5 years later and i am still dealing with the pain as well as he is. the trust we are learning to get back and learning to heal at the same time. i am being more open and honest with him and there are times when i do distrust him and i am sure he feels the same. when an old friend calls ( a guy ) my husband gets jealous...and i understand that. trust is something that now has to be earned back...it was broken and once it is broken, it's very hard to get back....but with much love i think it can.
2007-11-04 13:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by Latino Heat 4ever 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some spouses do, but some don't. In any case, you will have to prove that you are trustworthy, and it will take longer than it took when you were first dating. I wouldn't blame your spouse for continuing to check your email and phone records as a condition of keeping you on as a spouse.
2007-11-04 13:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jesus pronounced that sexual immorality certainly comes from the middle. have self belief it or no longer, porn is fueled via something religious. this is not probable a actual ingredient, this is definitely something religious. staring at porn and having actual intercourse are very, very diverse. different adult men are caught on porn greater from the reality that they are the two offended or injury or something else. You coach be apologetic approximately in this question right here, and that's a staggering sign. don't be too down on your self. Your flesh betrays your spirit. God can and could help you. save the religion. this is going to pass.
2016-10-15 01:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have booted you out of my life the minute I found out you cheated. Cheating on your spouse isn't like putting a dent in their car or scratching their boat. You betrayed their ultimate trust.
2007-11-04 14:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by Dave G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he will ever trust you ever again. If you want to regain the trust, you better let him do what ever makes him feel better until he can regain some kind of trust. Getting mad will not solve anything. You deserve distrust.
2007-11-04 13:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by jennniferlea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They may forgive but never forget.
Be patient open and honest and give your spouse full access. Make sure you show them every day how much you care about them. They are hurting and need time to heal.
2007-11-04 13:33:34 · answer #10 · answered by Dee 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋