I told her not to but she did anyways........what do I do?

Question

Well I made the mistake of telling a coworker something very personal about me. I told her not to tell but she did anyways.In fact she spread it around and even insulted me. I thought she was someone that could be trusted. She is a supervisor and shes basically tried to screw everyone up because shes bitter that everyone knows she sleeps a round and everyone knows she did something with the mager to get her promotion. But now I seem just as bad becasue of what she tld everyone! Should I confront her? what should I do??????????

Answer 1

Confronting her might make matters worse. I would just ignore it - don't give it credibility. And it will go away when the crew sinks it's teeth into the next piece of juicy gossip.

Answer 2

You can confront her, but she is a supervisor, so you have to be careful or you could lose your job. Now you know that she cannot be trusted, so you will just have to let your secret in time. Hopefully some other piece of gossip will go around that will make people forget that piece about you. If asked about what she said, tell them the honest version and not the one your supervisor told. That may help you save some face.

Answer 3

I'd say your best bet is to write her a letter letting of all your anger, but don't mail it for at least a few days, when you've calmed down. If you still think it's a good idea to send it, then do. If not, maybe you could plan out a talk between you and her, and practice it (in front of the mirror or whatever). Then, when the time is right, get her alone and talk. In the future, however, I'd say don't trust people like this with your secrets!

Answer 4

First, telling everyone on Y!A that your supervisor sleeps around is slander, which is what you're currently complaining about; this makes you a hypocrite.

Second, if you didn't want anyone to know about a personal issue then you shouldn't have told anyone. Now that you have, however, you'll have to prove to everyone concerned that you're not the type of person she's making you out to be by being a better person.

Answer 5

Anytime you work with anothe woman there are usually problems, more than one is a sure fire problem. Reason being is that people try to belittle other people in order to get their selves a step higher. The only suggestion I can advise is Kindness kills, you can draw more flies with honey than vinegar. I was told this all my life and it is so true. There maybe a little jealousy coming from her if you are younger also carry your head high and let this be a lesson learned lpeople use your problems against you, keep your utmost onees to yourself let business be business and outside issues stay out of the work place. Be nice to everyone and I promise you you will succeed your light will shine while hers starts dimming out.

Answer 6

I have faced a similar problem to yours . what i would do , is be better than her , act wiser than her . Say to her what you felt in a respectful way even though she hurted you and then move on and ignore her . when i did this to my own friend , her face lit with shame and she knew how cheap she was.
At least , you have learnt a lesson not to trust her anymore. yelling or treating her the same way she treated you , won't solve anything , but will make problems worser . By acting wiser than her , will put her down , even though she might not show it . You can show the people in your work the difference of who you are and who she is , by acting wiser than her , and when these workers notice the difference , they will respect you more and will stand by you.

Answer 7

You should confront her and ask her why she would out all of your info out there to all your co-workers. Tell her you came to her in confidence. She may feel guilty, but from what you said, she is only out there for one person. Herself... Just don't tell her anything anymore, and if she tries to get in your conversations, just tell the other person your speaking with, that you'll tell them another time. Make sure you say that in front of her too, and when you walk off, just give her a pretty mean look...

Answer 8

There is nothing to be gained by insulting her back as suggested by another answerer. And there is no way to take back what was said. I would tell her how wrong it was for her to betray your trust and move on. I would not tell her (or anyone at work) anything you don't want spread around. Chalk it up to experience and don't do it again.

Answer 9

You learned a valuable lesson - NEVER SHARE PERSONAL INFO WITH COWORKERS!

Same goes with emails or posting anything on the internet.

Golden Rule is to always keep your guard up with everyone in life and don't trust them until they've proven their trust to you.

Sorry but everyone is a backstabber - even family members will betray you if you don't keep your guard up. That's life.

Hope whatever you told her isn't too bad.

Answer 10

I would question why you told someone of such dubious character something so private . . . . .

But, the damage is done. I believe I'd keep clear of her from now on. She can't be trusted. She might notice that you are keeping your distance and ask you what is going on. At that point, you could choose to tell her that she hurt you by breaking a confidence.