Why do some feminists cry about women not being ''allowed'' to display anger when men can't show any emotions?

Question

Apparently some feminists are crying at the ''fact'' that it's less acceptable for women to show anger, whereas men can't show any emotions.

Why is this?

It's more socially accepted for women to display every other emotion.

Anger is the only emotion men can display.

Answer 1

i kicked my 6ft tall male cousin in the ankle one time for calling me short. he showed the emotions of PAIN, DISBELIEF and he CRIED coz it hurt him...

he showed those emotions while looking up at me.

i wouldnt have done it but he kept calling me short ( im 5ft7) and then he patted me on the head like a little girl ( im older than he is) so he made me ANGRY..and i acted very childishly ( i was around 18 at the time)

so would i do it again? heck yes!

Answer 2

I can't speak for all feminists, but I think we women were brought up not to show negative emotions, particularly confronting ones like anger. Sure, mum was allowed to be angry, but us daughters weren't. She was brought up the same way, so no wonder she was angry by the time we came along! I am too! It's a tricky thing. The line between assertive and aggressive is pretty sketchy and depends on who is making the judgement. According to mum, it was ok if we showed anger in appropriate ways, which seemed to be calmly and clearly and not at all angry. So, what do we do with our own daughters? Yes, it's ok to be angry. We all know that. What kind of ways is it ok to display it? Is shouting ok? Is hitting? Or is it better cry because sadness is more ok?
As for men not showing emotions, I don't know why anyone still buys into that. My man shows emotions, most guys I know show emotions. I just wish they would give up on the idea that it is girly or gay and needs to be either appologised for or blamed on alcohol. Obviously there are many ways to be "manly" and gay guys are still men too, just not always in the same way as straight guys. (Our daughter's godfather is gay so I have a bit of a bee in my bonnet about this.)
Have I actually answered the question , or just ranted? I guess the short answer is because we've all got hang ups. Some of us recognise them, some don't, but most of us don't know exactly what should be done to avoid passing them on to the next generation.

Answer 3

I don't have any problems with displaying anger. The difference is that I can show it without resorting to a temper tantrum. It's all right to be angry about something and to show it. What's not all right is engaging in childish behavior along with that anger. I hate to say this but I've seen both men and women do it. I generally lose all sympathy I had for them when they make fools of themselves like this.

Answer 4

Uh, whoever told you men aren't allowed to display any emotions but anger was lying to you.

There is prejudice against some forms of displaying emotions by men; every feminist I know is as vocal about that as about the prohibition against women showing anger.

The thing about the anger one, however, is that anger is an appropriate response to being wronged. So when you're never allowed to express that you've been wronged, your being told that it's OK to wrong you and you have no recourse.

I know no feminists (male or female) who "cry" about it. Most of them (the women, expecially) are more likely to fume and rant.

But then they're told to stop being b*tch*s or asked if they're PMS-ing.

Men's emotions tend to be taken as real; women's as biological in nature.

But if you think no feminists speak out against the "real men don't cry" and "showing love is weakness" and other nonsense, you haven't been paying attention.

Answer 5

Is that so? Ya don't say? Hmmmm... it looks like Deirdre - and tehabwa too - were onto something:

'...some who study this most basic expression of feeling will tell you that in this day and age, it can be easier for a crying man to be taken seriously than a crying woman...

...an occasional Clintonesque tear is seen as a positive thing.

"Bill could cry, and did, but Hillary can't," says Tom Lutz, a professor at the University of California, Riverside, who authored an exhaustive history of crying. In other words, the same tearful response that would be seen as sensitivity in Bill could be seen as a lack of control in his wife.

But there are additional rules for acceptable public crying. "We're talking about dropping a tear," Lutz notes, "no more than a tear or two." And it all depends on the perceived seriousness of the subject matter. Thus Jon Stewart or David Letterman could choke up with impunity just after 9/11. But a dog-adoption problem is a whole other matter.

In a recently published study at Penn State, researchers sought to explore differing perceptions of crying in men and women, presenting their 284 subjects with a series of hypothetical vignettes.

What they found is that reactions depended on the type of crying, and who was doing it. A moist eye was viewed much more positively than open crying, and males got the most positive responses.

"Women are not making it up when they say they're damned if they do, damned if they don't," said Stephanie Shields, the psychology professor who conducted the study. "If you don't express any emotion, you're seen as not human, like Mr. Spock on Star Trek," she said. "But too much crying, or the wrong kind, and you're labeled as overemotional, out of control, and possibly irrational."...'

Answer 6

Feminists actually think it is unhealthy and sad that men are not allowed to display emotions. This is part of the patriarchal society that keeps such tight reigns on both sexes. Men do suffer a lot in our society because of the expectations that are made on them.
This feminist was merely pointing out that women are not allowed to be angry. If they are it is considered pathological and blamed on hormonal imbalance which is completely false.
Women who are assertive are called ball breakers, biotches, shrews etc. Men are allowed to state their point without anyone batting an eye.

Answer 7

I think once these angry women realize that we are closer to balance than they think, they will understand that we all have male and female characteristics inside us and will stop mourning their lives and start celebrating them instead. I've always felt many feminists do nothing but further divide the sexes. They're not fighting for equality anymore; I'm not sure what they're fighting for. But I would love to see a movement that would give men the green light to express emotions.

Answer 8

I think it has to do with the idea that it is unfeminine for women to show anger and unmasculine for men to show emotions.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, I have found in own life that while it's expected for the men around me to get angry, that when I get angry at the same level, they look at me like i"m crazy.
It is more socially accepted for men to get angry. Still.

Answer 10

That's not true. It's considered macho for men to show anger. Besides, men are the ones who claim they're not emotional.