i feel that divorce is way too common now, and i want to know who here has a GOOD and HAPPY marriage. and no newleyweds please, because ur always happy in the beginning but not later on..and also, if u know one, what do u think is the secret to ur happy marraige?
2007-11-04 10:43:59 · 29 answers · asked by Chiquita Bonita 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been married for 15 years and I'm very happy. It wasn't easy, dealing with a rebellious stepson who lived with us, but counseling helped tremendously.
Since this isn't a first marriage for either one of us, we both appreciate what we have.
It's been work but that hard work is paying off. We're happier than ever (especially since his son moved out).
2007-11-04 10:49:18 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am in a loving, supportive and healthy marriage. We are not fresh off the honeymoon either.
I understand what you mean. It would seem that generally, commitment has a different meaning these days. Perhaps either the couple isn't trying hard enough to keep things afloat or, they were never suited in the first place and married for the wrong reasons?
The secret to a happy marriage....i think it can not be determined by one single thing. Rather, it is a combination of things like: LISTENING to each other and actually hearing it, both working at the marriage with communication and common respect, having a sense of independence and togetherness, a balance if you will. Compromise and a solid foundation to stand upon -love.
2007-11-04 11:11:18 · answer #2 · answered by kelstar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a very happy marriage. We have been married for a number of years now (almost 10) and we still are very much in love. There is no secret persay! But I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that we are both pretty happy people in general. I wish I could tell you that every thing is perfect but its not , life is not! But I honestly believe when we get up each day we give it our best shot,even when we fall short, I believe we did the best we could do at that moment. Other than that we communicate, communicate, communicate, even if we have to write each other a letter to express how we really feel. We find some way to communicate! We also compromise, we each have our own deal breakers that we don't even have to acknowledge any more, but anything in between is up for a compromise. Also, we apologize, even if it is a month later, we are not to big to say I'm SORRY! We have bad days just like the next, but have made it a point to work them out. We don't let it fester
2007-11-04 11:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the problem lies in the word happiness and the expectations that it raises.
I have been married for 17 years come April. Do I have a happy marriage? I guess it is like my life. It is happy some days and some days it is not. Happiness is where you find it. Is my marriage like "The Notebook"? No. But then again no-ones is and it never will be. I think that the sooner we get our heads out of Hollywood's butt and face reality the better. I love a good movie and a good romance is still one of my favorites but I have no-one but myself to blame when it starts to but unrealistic lights on my real life relationship.
To badly quote Mr Stephen King... Marriage is like a couple of good plow horses. They don't necessarily need to like each other as long as they are both pulling in the same direction... etc etc. I know that sounds absolutely devoid of romance but that it what some of us need from time to time... a dose of reality to cut the crap with.
Love is SO much more than lust and Marriage is SO much longer reaching than the honeymoon phase.
~Tyed~
2007-11-04 10:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by owltyedup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a happy marriage. 31 years and counting. My sister has been married 38 years, my brother 35. (I'm the baby.)
The secret isn't such a secret. It's wanting what makes the other person happy as much as you want to be happy yourself. This involves compromise.
Oh, and unconditional love is in the mix, too, so that I love him no less when he's not being especially fun or wonderful. This seems like not a big deal when you're young, but when you've been together a long time and there are long stretches when things go badly--money, illness, less desire, whatever--it's a necessity.
2007-11-04 10:49:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No one is going to be happy all the time but we have been married for 9 years and 4 kids later we still love each other very much the good times are worth putting up with the bad times
2007-11-04 11:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by itsmee a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Angel said it very well. I wish I could follow her advice. Been married 18yrs, and I feel we are going different directions. We are not happy, I don't want to be apart from him and I am against divorce if at all possible. We are both christians, although he has threatened divorce I guess he doesn't value our marriage like I do. I feel divorce shouldn't be an option unless your in a dangerous situation, abuse etc.. Infidelity I feel is grounds but he has never and neither have I. We are currently in counseling, early stages. Just had a blow out and I am very hurt and disappointed he threatened with divorce. If there is a secret, please tell me because I know alot of other people unhappy besides me.
2007-11-04 11:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been married for 30 years. The trick to staying married is to realize that things run in cycles: times when everything is happy go lucky, and times of stress. Also, sex goes in cycles... if for example, you are exhausted from work, and just want to plop down and sleep, sex will be the LAST thing on your mind. Then there's realizing that at times, both of you need space. You are NOT supposed to be mmm honey-kissy face 24/7. And as you mature as a couple, and grow apart [evolve] in different directions, it's not the end of the world.
Say for instance you discover you love yoga, and he, fishing. So what? Just be respectful of each others likes/dislikes. If he doesn't talk Bass and Pike at you, you won't tell him how to stretch optimally, etc. Life.... is not all everything, all the time. That's why so many people get divorced.
2007-11-04 10:54:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do. We were married at 19 and are coming up on 7 years. The secret to our marriage is communication and lot's of sex. I think people forget how important that is. The communication took awhile to figure out but was worth the trouble to get to where we are.
2007-11-04 12:47:41 · answer #9 · answered by taken 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think so. And after being married for almost 3 years and talking with married friends it seems nobody is truly happy in their marriage and there is a lot of deceit and betrayl. I think everyone is looking for something else something to make them happy without putting in so much effort. Grass is not always greener on the other side. Plus starting over again with a marriage and a house and everything is a lot of work that unhappy people tend to stay together.
2007-11-04 10:50:54 · answer #10 · answered by Cassandra C 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have been married 28 years! The secret to a happy marriage is allowing the other to explore their own interests! My wife enjoys some things that I do not. I enjoy some thing that she does not. We also enjoy things together!
We do not have to spend every free minute together. She can go out with her friends, and there is no problem. I can go out and play cards with the guys, again with no problems.
We trust each other! We accept each others flaws (and trust me, we both have flaws) and love each other!!
2007-11-04 11:09:43 · answer #11 · answered by fire4511 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋