rules to live by????

Question

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Michael: if you test the depth of the water with both feet, you might get in over your head.

Answer 1

Now you have me holding my side and tears running down. Thanks so much and please dont ever stop sending those words of wisdom. Love it !!!

Answer 2

I thought your wisest comment came just before the dumbest.

Absolutely True:
Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Each of us is a minority of one!

Dumbest:
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you test the depth of the water with one foot on the shore, how will that keep you from falling in?

Answer 3

1. Take credit. Give blame 2. Boast about achievements, you know you are better than the rest 3. Throw sand and mud to those who deserve it 4. Let sleeping bums die 5. Show off. Strut your stuff

Answer 4

Heard these before and even sent them to a few people. But they are always worth reading again.

Answer 5

Man these are so true, thank you for posting these!
I will pass these to my son, during his visit next month. Save him a lot of pain - I hope he listens - he's 13 now so it's iffy...

Answer 6

I Love It... so true.. all of it... laughing so hard...

Thank you so much... Here's one for ya

NEVER use the plastic cup on the top of the Milk of Magnesia bottle as a regular dose!

Answer 7

A lifetime of wisdom in so few words...and unfortunately, all true! Goldwing

Answer 8

Sage advice. Thanks.

-MM

Answer 9

These Are Great!! Thank You!

Answer 10

Thank you for these words of wisdom. They are so true!

I am making a copy to Microsoft Word as soon as I post my answer!! Thanks.