Earlier today I packed my computer to go to the library. My boyfriend left the house and I needed to check the library hours (couldn't remember if opened at 1 or 2). I used his computer, checked library hours and checked other websites I usually frequent (news sites). Beacuse i'm used to the news website populating on my computer, I hit enter when a site came up on his.
Well, a sex site came up! At first I thought I typed the wrong thing in. But, it was something he looked at. I was devistated. I looked in his history and found that on Thursday he looked at this site, and when I clicked on some of the links a "how to view videos" came up. There were only 9 or10 pages viewed. Also in history - 2 or 3 personal listings on craigslist that he viewed.
I am so upset. We have been best friends for 8 years, and together for 3. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't want to break up, as I love and trust him. I don't want him to think I was snooping, but need to bring this up
2007-11-04 09:21:33 · 14 answers · asked by sara123par456 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am amazed that he looks at so little porn! I can view it for hours as can almost any heterosexual male. You are over reacting. Men keep their porn secret too. It is what we use to masturbate. it is for only us. It is a private thing. I recommend you let this go and be happy he views it so infrequently. Don't let him know ever that you looked or there will be a broken bond of trust he has for you that will be gone forever. Shame on you for suspecting something for such a little incident.
2007-11-04 10:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by Stinky Badger 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-21 10:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should address the whole porn plethora. You make it sound like he has tons and tons of porn and you know all about it. I mean every guy I have dated has had porn or watched it but not such an amount I kept tabs on it or felt a need to knew everything they were into. I also do not think you should be snooping in his things, was it really child pron as in a child that is prepubescent. I know a lot of 18 year old girls that look like they are younger than 18 (I'm 23 and people think I'm younger than I am) and I agree with maybe he downloaded something and it just happened to be in there and he is getting rid of it but sorting through it. But I still think maybe if he has so much porn you need to keep tabs on it, or if you think you need to keep tabs on his porn that is an issue in its self. Also perhaps he likes you because of you, and maybe he does not want children because he's young and not at a place in his life where he thinks about children and marriage. You sound kind of crazy.
2016-04-02 04:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was looking at pictures!! Big deal!!! He was not cheating!
Men are visual. We like to look at pictures and movies of women! It is not a reflection of his feelings for you. It is just something he enjoys looking at! Why are you worried about it?
Do you have any reason not to trust him, other than what you found on his computer? If you do not trust him, you have more problems than what he is looking at on line! If you had not snooped and found that in his computer (and by checking his history, you were snooping!!!) wold there be anything in your relationship that is setting up a red flag?
If he was looking at a "how to view video" page. it is obvious that he is not a regular user of that site! You seem to think that because you do not like something, he should not be allowed to enjoy it!! A relationship has to be based on common interests, but it does not rule out individual differences.
Accept the fact that he is a man, and he is going to look (not touch) other women! It is totally normal.
2007-11-04 10:46:16 · answer #4 · answered by fire4511 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I am not sure when you posted this but I wanted to let you know that I am going through the same thing. My boyfriend has been looking at Craiglist a lot. I started to suspect something so I got into his email and saw where he had replied to some of the postings asking for sex. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and he just asked me to marry him 4 weeks ago. I made up a fake email account and reponded to his reply. It looks like he may try to meet up with the fake me at a hotel tomorrow. I am in shock and feel like I could die. I hope your situation is different from mine. Any helpful advice I am all ears. Good Luck.
2007-11-08 05:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by Barb96 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He enjoys a bit of porn, so what, it is HIS computer so what? YOU were snooping, that will teach you not to snoop into someone else's PRIVATE things. He is your boyfriend only he doesn't OWE you anything. He has the right to do whatever he CHOOSES to do online, if you don't like that then maybe you're not ready for that kind of relationship.
2007-11-04 12:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide if you can live the rest of your life with someone who does look at porn. As you see, most here and other places see nothing wrong with it. I do.
I do not want to spend my life with someone who needs to look at other women. Also, I am sure he would see it differently if it was you looking at porn. I know these things from experience. I was married to a man who would even go as far as to bring magazines home and make comments about them. Just once, I bought one and he was not happy.
You need to discuss this with him and see what happens. When making your choices, think how it will be years down the road.
I wish you luck and happiness. I am sorry you are feeling so sad. I think it is best you found out now, rather than if you were married.
2007-11-04 09:57:16 · answer #7 · answered by Alright 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't let him turn this into your fault/problem first of all. Look at the history in temporary internet files and see if this was a one time thing or if it is an addiction. All guys do not look at porn. Then you need to decide if this is something you can live with. GOOD LUCK.
2007-11-04 10:08:53 · answer #8 · answered by Dani Bosco 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honey, MOST if not ALL men enjoy porn; didn't you know that? Doesn't make them less, it is perfectly natural. You need to forget it and don't confront him about this because one, it will look exactly like you were snooping and two, as I said, it is very very common and as long as he only looks, you don't have a problem.
The porn industry is a multi billion dollar business and anyone can tell you men are the number one customers. Men like to look at naked ladies, period. Learn to deal with it or go through life alone.
2007-11-04 09:39:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
Unfortunately, he is going to SAY you were snooping no matter what, because that is always what people say when they get caught doing something wrong. Suddenly it's your fault for catching them and you're in the wrong. It may not mean anything but then again, it may. He's going to accuse you of spying on him no matter what but I don't think you should just hold it in. People might tell you it isn't a big deal and to get over it but it is a big deal to YOU, so the situation needs to be addressed.
I always find it funny that some women are like, "Oh, it's just porn, who cares? I let my man watch porn, I don't give a sh!t." You know the funny thing? Every woman I know who I've heard say that has been cheated on. I don't allow porn in my house or my relationships EVER and as far as I know, I've not ever been cheated on. I don't agree with my man watching pornography. I think it's disrespectful, the same as it would be if he was commenting on other girls in front of me or breaking his neck to watch them go by. I'm sorry, I won't be disrespected like that. I refuse to tolerate it.
BUT it is very important to remember that your man has needs. If you are going to refuse to allow porn in your house, etc. (as I do) then you need to satisfy his needs. Otherwise, he will satisfy them on his own, however and whoever that requires.
2007-11-04 09:45:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋