2007-11-04 08:13:10 · 17 answers · asked by david j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have sex w/ her best friend and tell her it wasn't love...
U won't beable to get over it regardless if it was just sex, it probably was just sex and love was not involved but she should have loved u enough to resist temptation and if she couldn't do that then I would second guess her love 4 u!!
2007-11-04 08:25:21 · answer #1 · answered by NONAME 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a tough question, as I am in this situation right now. I am the one who ha an affair with my husbands best friend. I can tell you from the other side of the spectrum that it is really hard to get over something like this. I see my husband fighting with his thoughts everyday. He says he is trying to move on and forgive me, but I can tell in his eyes that it is really hard for him. Give her a chance if she says it was not love, then it probably was not. How was your relationship prior to the affair. I know in my relationship, things were less then good, and I felt like my needs were not being met. I know that it is not an excuse, but you have to look at a relationship like the human body....when it is sick there are symptoms....an affair would be a big symptom. My husband and I are trying we really are, but we both know that it is going to take a whole lot of work, and maybe it may not even work out....but at least we tried right?? And get counsellings...individual and marriage...Another thing are there children involved, cause believe me, they really do complicate things. well best of luck with everything...give her a chance!
2007-11-04 18:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you'll ever get over it completely but you can get past it if you are both committed to putting the relationship back together. You must 1st learn what happened to make her want to do that? You have to be open to the fact that there are shortcomings in the relationship & learn how to repair those things. It is NEVER just one person... there are needs not being met, loneliness, insecurities- all sorts of things. Then you have to work on repairing the trust. That will probably be the hardest & she'll have to work super hard to earn that back. She'll also have to give you space to work through your anger. She'll have to endure snide comments & such until you work thru that. Just make sure you're BOTH committed - if either of you go into half heartedly then you will waste alot of time and energy and that is a hopeless feeling. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
2007-11-04 16:26:26 · answer #3 · answered by mommyrayne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If my husband had an affair with my best friend, I would not get over it anytime soon, maybe never. Why? Because they are my two most trusted people in the whole world. But that's me. I don't know your situation, or your relationship with the concerned persons. But if she says it wasn't love, i.e. it was "just sex", you definitely need to sit you both down, preferrably all 3, and find out what went wrong. Boredom? Loneliness? Lack of a safety net? Miscommunication? etc. May need outside unbiased person to help as well.
2007-11-04 16:20:50 · answer #4 · answered by Linni 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd think you wouldn't,. Worst part? You lose both a wife and a best friend in the deal.
If you insist... then drop the best friend for good, get counselling and start all over again. Counselling.. a must
2007-11-04 16:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can get over it but you have to be willing to let it go. she did wrong and you have a right to have her earn that trust back.. she needs to be willing to let you check on her anytime day or night and where ever she is.. she has to be a open book for a while and earn that trust back.. if she can do that and you can see shes reallying working toward making it work out and you feel you can trust her again thats when you will have to let everything in the past stay in the past.. you cant be using it as a fighting tool. it wont work and she will forsure leave if shes not doing anything and trying to make it work and you still dont believe. you have to look deep inside yourself and be willing to open your heart to her again at that time you will have put it behind you.. good luck
2007-11-04 16:31:01 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't !!! How could you?! And did you drop your so called Best Friend???!!! I don't think you want him around anymore. Your wife made a fatal mistake, or decision?! I don't know many people who could get past THAT level of disrespect, and shallowness !!!! If you can't TRUST your wife, and you can't trust your best friend, it's time to give them Both the boot and move on !!! You deserve better!! Good Luck!!
2007-11-04 16:24:14 · answer #7 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no u never get over it, not ever. and time heals nothing. is that her best excuse that she never loved him? u will probably need therapy, getting hurt like this makes u think that maybe they never loved u at all and any past u may have had is now gone, and your future with this person is unknown. why risk more hurt and rejection why not just send her packing and save yourself future grief.
2007-11-04 16:59:45 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know WHY she had the affair? most women who have affairs feel they aren't getting attention or affection at home. this may or may not be the case in your situation, but you might step back and take a look.
perhaps try marriage counseling...or therapy for yourself, if you are having issues.
2007-11-04 16:44:02 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
>You don't...best to move on. A cheater will do it again. You will just lose your valuable time and have to go through the pain again the next time it happens.
Better find a new best friend, too.<
2007-11-04 16:20:29 · answer #10 · answered by Druid 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋