Why, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
2007-11-04 07:41:18 · 24 answers · asked by Hannah's Grandpa 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
2007-11-04 07:44:03 · update #1
And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
2007-11-04 07:44:52 · update #2
Uncle Smiley you better come over and have some koolaide and cookies. Gramma maked oatmeal cookies today cause I smeared chokit in grampa's bible yesterday.
Don't tell gramma this, but I like oatmeal just as much as chokit chip!
*giggle*
2007-11-04 09:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
1) When batteries are going dead in the remote, pushing harder often works!
Also I like to take out the batteries (one by one) and rub both ends to dislodge any dust or whatever. That works too.
Using an eraser on the ends of the battery works even better!!!
2) Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? BECAUSE THEY CAN!
3) Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? BECAUSE THEY CAN'T COUNT 4 BILLION STARS!
4) Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? THEY TRIED THAT, BUT IT WOULDN'T SELL!!!
5) Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? THEY DON'T!!!
6) Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? HE WAS N.A. INDIAN.
7) Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? BAD ACTING!
8) Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? TO KILL SHIP BEFORE DYING TOO.
9) Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? THATS-S-S-S UNKNOWN.
10) If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? EVOLUTION OF PRIMATES INTO MEN IS IMPOSSIBLE, OR WE'D HAVE THE PRIMATE'S IMUNITY TO AIDES (Primates are carriers, but Aides doesn't bother them)...stop monkey love!
11) Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!! TRICK PHOTOGRAPHY???
12) Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? OH! YOU NOTICED...NO!!!
13) Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.
14) Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? WOMEN PEOPLE ARE JUST LIKE THAT.
15) Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? SO SHOP LIFTERS CAN'T SCOFF ANY.
16) How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? SMALLL SPACES.
17) When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot?" BIBLE SAYS FORGIVE!
18) Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over? YOU ARE A KLUTZ. I DON'T!
19) In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat? STOCK OPTIONS ON HEATING UTILITIES.
20) How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? WOMEN TALK A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN MEN!
2007-11-04 08:43:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too lazy to get off the couch.
Banks are thieves
Want to leave a fingerprint on your newly painted wall
There are glues , and there are glues
When you are dead you can't catch anything
It would take away his "appeal'' to his fans, less money.
He is not a good catcher
Would you die for your country without the full uniform?LOL
Lisp. Poor people who lisp.
Apes? I also frequently ask that question. No one answers
Mattresses. Every day of the whole year.
Hope, so they don't have to go to the supermarket and get their ankles bashed.
Great thoughts and questions.
2007-11-04 09:22:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
These would be a lot better if you thought of them yourself Smiley. I have seen these before. Why does it say on a box of Shredded Wheat 100% natural whole wheat? Has anyone ever seen a cereal selling unnatural whole wheat? Why do you wipe down something to clean it up? How can Yuban sell 100% Columbian coffee? They sell about 150 million pounds of it all over the U.S. and yet Columbia only grows about 60 million pounds in any given year to export all over the world? Just some more things to ponder.
2007-11-04 12:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must have someone following me around with some of those. Living alone, I should have the items in the refrigerator memorized by now. I also know I need new batteries in the tv remote, but still keep pressing the buttons harder. Thanks for the first laugh I have had all day.
2007-11-04 08:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by mydearsie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I know I would be a lot smarter than I am.
Had to laugh at the first one. As I was doing exactly that the other day, and finally broke down and went to the store for more batteries.
2- Never could figure that one out, you can't get blood out of a turnip.
2007-11-04 08:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by Moe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Those were some great questions, loved them. LOL
I esp had to laugh at the one about the refrigerator, my husband does that all the time. He says he might have missed something the first time. I was reading these to him and got so tickled that I couldn't hardly read that last one with all the s's in it, so I guess the one out of 4 is me. LOL
2007-11-04 08:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You may have missed your calling. You should be a writer for Andy Rooney, the guy who does commentary at the end of 60 Minutes on CBS.
For the most part, these were very good questions.
2007-11-04 07:58:39 · answer #8 · answered by Carlos R 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've always wondered why there's a sign at the netrance to supermarkets that warn "Only seeing eye dogs allowed".
Do a lot of people take their dogs to go shopping with them?
2007-11-04 08:53:12 · answer #9 · answered by phlada64 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was great, Uncle Smiley! I'm going to share that with my friends and family.
2007-11-04 08:42:30 · answer #10 · answered by penny d 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋