Tim and Sally dated and stayed together for about 2 years. Sally always asked for more love and romance. But Tim was a typical realistic man. He cared about his job, the bills and etc. He wasn’t the guy who can verbalize love and care. During 2 years, Tim found that Sally was not the one he was looking for. Sally usually stayed home and rarely cleaned. She checked up on Tim’s e-mail, and phone bills to see whom Tim was talking to. She had all these guy friends, but Tim wasn’t allowed to have any female friend. None, period. Although they never cheated each other, there was no trust. Finally, Tim decided to break up. He started to hang out with friends and wanted to get his life back. But a few months later, they were back together mostly because Tim felt sorry for Sally. They ended up getting married. For couple of years, they were doing ok. But either one was happy. Sally asked, “Did you miss me?” and Tim replied, “yeah … (sure).” Tim knew from the beginning that he wasn’t marring a girl who he wanted. But he was hoping that things would change. They enjoyed nothing, such as hobby, even a TV show and music, together. His life sucked. He still had to work and clean. Her life sucked too because she was expected to do a lot of things yet she received little attention and the time together that she wanted. From time to time, Tim found himself living with someone he doesn’t love. And he started thinking of divorce. He was scared of family reaction and other complications from divorcing, and also afraid of that he might never find an attractive, cheerful and domestic woman that he had been dreaming of. Should they settle with what they have, or divorce?
2007-11-04 06:57:40 · 17 answers · asked by Johnny T 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know, that's the problem these days - is people's attitudes. Divorce is the easy way out - sure. But just cos that's the easy way out, does that mean you should take it?
Sounds to me like these two people need to rediscover each other. There must have been SOMETHING there in the beginning that bought them together. They need to find that common ground, spend a good deal of time with each other, learning and discovering about each other, build up great communication - set a goal to achieve together that they are passionate about and start appreciating and loving each other. Stop with the negative thinking of "oh did i do the wrong thing" and find a way to fix the mess.
Yeah some people will say "get a divorce - you are unhappy" etc. But that is the most immature and lazy way of thinking. Fix this - yes it can be fixed. If you spend the time fixing it - this will make you stronger in the long run. This is a massive hurdle you are at. But just imagine if you conquer it.........
I believe you can find love in this marriage..... then build on that.
2007-11-04 07:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too many put the wrong emhpasis on marriage. They feel they "must" go through with it at all costs. Well it could cost more that just a few years. It could cost them their lives. It patterns people and how they react to other relationships they might have, even other marriages. It puts the rest of their happiness at risk. I mean for the rest of their lives. In this particular case it means that each of these people are willing to settle for less than what they deserve. They aren't going to change so why continue. Sally should find someone who is more compassionate. Tim should find someone who wants to build a corperation together.
2007-11-04 07:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by TMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce. I stayed in a passionless marriage for 28 years. Wound up getting divorced anyway, but the longer you go without ending it, the more difficult it will be for both parties when it inevitably does end. This is just as much for Sally's sake as for Tim's (who obviously wants OUT), as Sally can then have a chance while she is young enough to find someone who DOES care and can be passionate with her.
2007-11-04 07:03:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After putting this much time, why jump to divorce even if there are no kids. Get counseling which could even mean a more peaceful divorce. Tim may be daydreaming about his ideal, and divorce is to easy a solution. Second marriages have a lower success rate than do the first ones. Marriages are promises "for better or worse".
Oh, and please learn to break such long stories into paragraphs..
2007-11-04 07:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by DrB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life isn't perfect.. you sometimes get married for the wrong reasons but no matter where you go you have to take you with you. Usually you end marrying someone just the same as the first partner... if not marrying the same person for a second time. Try counseling before just calling a lawyer. its so easy to just bail nowadays.. nobody even tries to make it right and that is possible if you both are willing to make it committ to the relationship, you both need to talk to a third party. Yahoo Answers aint' counseling.
2007-11-04 07:14:12 · answer #5 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has counselling been thought of?
They should not be together, and should never have taken the vows before changing the situation.
They seem to have nothing holding them together..no love, trust, communication or happiness.
Thankfully, there are no kids involved to live this type of life and have two unhappy parents.
Time for each to depart and find someone more compatible.
2007-11-04 07:05:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is real easy, but complicated to get to. They definitely need to split. It is not fair to either of them. As years pass, Tim will realize that his life passed him by and by not being with someone that he loves, he will wonder if love was ever passed up somewhere else. They both owe it to each other to be honest and realize that if they have to cut their losses to start over, being 50 or 60 down the line does not work. Carpe Diem!!
2007-11-04 07:08:24 · answer #7 · answered by kevykev2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce, there is no point in staying in that marriage. There are no children involved so now would be the time to do it the families will survive.
2007-11-04 07:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by bridget b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure if this is real, but my answer is. This is so sad to read. I believe everyone who gets married have to remember why they chose to do this. There is always a way to save a marriage. Divorce is not an option, never !!
2007-11-04 07:07:20 · answer #9 · answered by Ferg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DIVORICE there is always something out there for everyone and if they have kids then they should do it for them, this is coming from a teen with 2 parents WHO do not belong together and its a horrible thing to watch and see. So yes and if they dont have kids they should do it before they do cuz then they will really feel stuck!
2007-11-04 07:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Shony07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋