I have gone through more anyone should and I am sorry for all of you that have gone through it. I love my husband and never believed I would ever divorce. I would work it out till the end. There has been domestic abuse in our relationship. There has been a lot of things that never should have been. My husband was illegal when we got married. Now hes got a greencard but has to stay married for 3 years. He refuses to divorce me but wants to seperate and have his own life. Hes tired of our family and wants to move on. If it wasnt for the fact that hes getting more and more mentally abusive, he calls me names, controls everything. Im ready to get out of it. He refuses to get help for his mental problems and wants everything done his way or no way. I hate this. But I still love this man and he hurts me so often anymore. Im ready. Can I file alone? Should I file? What if anything is left for me and my children?
2007-11-04 06:09:39 · 14 answers · asked by aalshafi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He rants and yells at me just for finally being ready to take that last step. He doesnt want me anymore but refuses to let me leave first
2007-11-04 06:20:02 · update #1
Im penniless. When I said he has control over everything I meant everything. NO car, no money, no credit cards etc...
2007-11-04 06:21:22 · update #2
Sounds to me like he's using you! Using you for a greencard that is! Seriously he is TOTALLY using you! You may love him but it is pretty obvious that he DOES NOT love you!
Oh and if you report him to the imigration department for scamming you do you really think he has a say in what you take with you. In any divorce you split mostly 50/50. You and your lawyer or public defendant have all the say in the world. He treats you like crap but expects you to hold off divorce until he gets his official green card. You need to ditch him and ditch him quick. There are plenty of ways around him...you just have to be creative.
2007-11-04 09:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sandra R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEEN THERE!!!! If he has left this is what you should do (and what I WISH I had done 10 years ago when my husband went off the deep end) Change the locks on the house! Go see a lawyer-explain the situation- file for divorce(if you wait for him to serve you--you may end up supporting him after you're divorced!) Have your new lawyer put a 'freeze' on all marital assets! This is all bank accounts - why is your name not on the account? If you have a mortgage - find the paperwork! If your car title has his name on it - find the paperwork! If you have been paying the bills have your cancelled checks to prove that you have been supporting the household. It may seem a 'cold' thing to do....but at least you won't be a victim of someone else's actions.
2016-04-02 04:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter if he does not want a divorce. If you want one, go file. Do yourself a favor though, make sure the papers are served to him. If you can't do it anymore, then get out of there. Your children do not need this, and no woman should ever put up with it. Good luck.
2007-11-04 06:20:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you choose to live a normal life, then get the hell away from that useless idiot as soon as possible. Do you love your children! You say you love that waste of a human being, but what about your children? You must not know what love is!
I don't think you should have to ask a question such as; should I get my children away from domestic abuse? FILE IMMEDIATELY!
2007-11-04 06:36:59 · answer #4 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing no one can stop you from filing for divorce.
If you are serious file for seperation and get a restraining order against him.
I wuld also let the immigration authorities know about his change in status
2007-11-04 06:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by will_955 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He married you to get his green card. You don't need his permission to file for divorce. That's one thing he can't control. Don't worry about him. No one should stay in an abusive relationship.
2007-11-04 06:17:33 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you can and should file. what do you mean he refuses? you dont need his consent to file for divorce. you will probably do much better though if you have an attorney, but you can do it without. what is left for you and your children will be decided during the court proceedings, but you are foolish to stay
2007-11-04 06:14:30 · answer #7 · answered by tiare 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your children and go immediately to a shelter for battered women - mental battery is as valid as physical abuse. Once there, you will have counseling available to help you achieve your goal of independence from him for yourself and your kids.
2007-11-04 06:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt want u to divorce him for the papers and call immigration and u should just get urkids and live life with no problems divorce him
good luck
2007-11-04 06:35:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"My husband wants to seperate but refuses to allow me to file for divorce?" Who says you need his permission?
2007-11-04 13:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋