Three guys die and go to heaven. At the gate, St. Peter tells them, "We're going to give you each a vehicle based on how faithful you were in your relationships."
The first guy says, "I never strayed." St. Peter gives him a Rolls-Royce. The second man says, "When I was young, I cheated. But I was completely faithful to my last girlfriend." St. Peter figures that counts for something, and gives him a Pontiac. The third man says, "I hit on everyone I could, all the time." St. Peter rolls out an old motorcycle. Later, the man on the motorcycle sees the guy with the Rolls crying. He pulls up and says, "Hey, what's the matter?"
"I just saw my girlfriend go by," says the guy in the Rolls, sobbing. "She was on roller skates!"
2007-11-04 04:41:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
The Bikers
A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now, back off!! or I'll kick the poo-poo out of all of you!"
St. Peter was impressed, "And when did this happen?"
"Just a couple of minutes ago."
2007-11-04 08:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guess I deserve a Rolls Royce too!!!! But I will take the roller skates. I love roller skates, more than Rolls Royce's. I think that's a fair trade. Knowing that I could again roller skate in Heaven, without falling down and getting hurt, I would "die" for that.
2007-11-04 15:51:13 · answer #2 · answered by Moe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one fisherman. Now here's one for you . . .
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman he ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly woman!"
The next day, the second guy steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter and with him is another ugly woman. He chains them together and tells him the same thing he told the first guy.
The third guy sees all this and is very careful where he steps. He goes for months without stepping on any ducks. Then one day St. Peter comes up to him with the most gorgeous woman he has ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The guy remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The woman replies, "I don't know about you but I stepped on a duck"
2007-11-04 13:55:28 · answer #3 · answered by Gladys 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hahahaha!! That is so funny. I needed that good laugh. My uncle passed away yesterday and my sister is terminal with cancer. My other uncle is in the hospital not expected to live. I needed that laugh. Thank you.
2007-11-04 22:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by Wrong number 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL Yes I like jokes, laughter is one of the best things to do in life.
Here's one for you.
A man arrives home for lunch and his wife calls to him.
"I've made the chicken soup!"
He replies, "Thank goodness for that, I was worried it might be for me !"
Ok fisherman, I know it wasn't very funny but I don't know many clean jokes. hugs x
2007-11-04 13:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex husband is a contractor, so he would be walking around on a pair of stilts if he makes that far. LOL
2007-11-04 13:47:29 · answer #6 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I love jokes, and that was a good one.LOL
We never know what folks are going through and sometimes a laugh really helps out, thanks.
2007-11-04 16:08:55 · answer #7 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAHAH!! Yes..I love jokes.Laughter cures all or at least makes it better..and you're funny!!
2007-11-04 12:53:16 · answer #8 · answered by Georgia Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was worth a chuckle.
2007-11-04 13:11:44 · answer #9 · answered by curious connie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is cute, thank you...my ex husband would be in sneakers...cheap ones at that
2007-11-04 12:45:26 · answer #10 · answered by slk29406 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋