My mOm is STILL freaking out about this....?

Question

My mom is still freaking out about finding my BF fingering me yesterday. (i didnt know that she was home, my little sister caught us, but i didnt realize it, tho i did realize it when she went and told mom and mom came INTO my room.) it was a bit awkward, but mom made my BF leave the house, and she started yelling at me. she said 'u PROMISED that u would not have sex after the last time, unless u at least talked to me about it first.' she had found out that i had sex fromk mone of my friends' mom. mom said that it wouldnt have been nearly as bad had i talked to her about it. I tried to explain to mom that i was NOT having sex, we were just messing around. i got grounded for two weeks. this morning i went down for breakfast and mom was STILL mad at me. I ate, then said i was goimg to go get ready for church, and she said, 'u and i r not going to church.' and i was like 'why?" she said, 'u and i apparently need to talk about the do's and don't's of this household, and what is sex.....

and what isn't sex, b/c u do not know, and apparently u do not know the consequences of sex. i looked at her, and said, 'yeah i do, that's why we were NOT really doing anything." she got REALLY mad when i told her that, and she yelled at me to get in my room and not leave it. I am probabaly going to lose every privilage over this one...what do I do? was it really THAT big deal that i let him finger me? why is mom SO mad?

Answer 1

I'm sorry but you're wrong. Your mother has every right to be upset with you. I'd be livid! First of all, your little sister caught you, that's a big no no. Secondly, you were caught in your home doing a sex act. It's a matter of respecting your home, family, your mother's rules and your body. He was using his fingers but it's still constitutes sex sweetheart. One thing always leads to the other : - / You have alot to learn, I see.

Using fingers doesn't mean you won't get an infection either. Doesn't constitute safe sex. There's all sorts of bacteria on your hands that you pick up from surfaces you touch, his own genitals that he could've previously touched and so on and so forth that can be transferred to your vagina thus giving you an infection.

Get yourself together and listen to your mom. Apparently, you have no clue as to what is sex, what isn't and all if entails (diseases, consequences, birth control, protection, etc), respect and household rules. So yeah, you and your mom need to have that talk.

Answer 2

I'm not sure how old you are, but if I was your mom, I'd be freakin out too. I hate to say it, cuz it makes me sound old! That kind of behavior leads to sex. It's a very fine line between what you're doing, and actually having sex again. Hormones get going, and sometimes there's no stopping it. I had sex at 16-17, and I regret it. Looking back, I probably wasn't emotionally ready. Not to mention, I thought the pill was an OK method of birth control. Luckily, I never ended up pregnant or with any STD's, but that could happen to you. Be honest with your mom, and humor her. She's scared to death right now over what will happen to you. Let her do her thing, and just listen. Remember, this is her house, and she has the right to punish you for breaking her rules. Not to mention her trust. Hang in there, and do the right thing. She will come back around.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Of course your mom's upset. First of all you made her a promise, which you then broke (yes fingering is a form of sex, or at least a prelude). Secondly, she didn't catch you, your younger sister did. Not very responsible of you. You should be setting an example. And third, your mom is worried about you, and the fact that there isn't much she can do to control it. You may be growing up, but you still have a lot of growing to do. She doesn't want to see you ruin your chances in life.
Sit down with your mom and have a heart to heart. Try to understand where she's coming from.

Answer 4

my answer depends on how old you are. if you're below legal age, then your mom is right about everything. including 'fingering'. on top of it being a little unhygienic, it leads on to things. trust me, when men do these things to you, they are trying their luck. if you cannot control yourself, you'll relent.

men, no matter how old they are, are born like that. opportunity is there, you see. not that there's anything wrong with that. we're just born like that! :-)

I think your mom's perception about having sex and not having sex is right. oral sex including 'fingering' that involves the private parts usually is a remote part of the process. If I were her, I would also consider it part of the process.

But I think she overreacted a little by all that shouting but then again, everyone's parenting style is different. Maybe that's her way. Don't argue with her because no one else in this whole wide world would want more good things for you than your own mother. Even if you think she's unreasonable, she has her reasons, ok?

Answer 5

Your mom needs to get a grip on the real world. She is ruining a very good chance to open communication with you is she not? Your mom has no say when or if you have sex, it is 100% your decision to make, insure you use protection the pill and condoms. Your mom is overreacting to a natural pert of a young adults life.

Answer 6

Your mother is mad because A. You are too young to be having sex. B. You lied to her. C. Instead of owning up to what you did, you are making excuses. She just wants to talk to you and you are giving her attitude.

Answer 7

I would've been more upset. You're only 15? Yes, it is a big deal... and it was disrespectful of you to do that in your parent's house (especially carelessly enough for your younger sister to catch you in the act). And by the way... you wouldn't be on the computer right now!

Answer 8

When she said sex she meant any kind of sexual activity. You went behind her back and di it again without consulting her. Be glad you were not my child or else you would made a new friend, his name is: Leather Suade Belt.

Answer 9

im sorry but i also have to side with your mom. Fingering isnt sex per se but it leads to it and your mom is just worried about your health. Im not exactly sure how you should talk to her but just keep your cool=)

Answer 10

I can understand that you don't understand what was so bad. He was just masturbating you, but once you get excited enough, you'll want something bigger than his fingers inside you. It is a natural reaction. That's what your Mom is worried about.