he's 3 and he hates me :(
2007-11-04 01:46:45 · 14 answers · asked by paul g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This child has no idea what the word hurt really means and he will soon turn around so dont worry if he hates you now by later he will love you.
best of luck
2007-11-04 01:53:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know what the word "hate" really means. He has however learned that he can evoke very strong emotions from you when he says this.
Just tell him you are sorry he feels that way and let it be. If he is using this as a ploy to get something he wants or to otherwise get his way, don't argue with him or try to change his position on the "hate you" issue. He is a three year old and the logic just won't work.
Send him to his room to let him know his behavior is absolutely unacceptable.
When the little guy figures out that "I hate you" doesn't work, he will try a different tact . Maybe "I love you" .
The bottom line here is that you are the parent and it is up to you to set the (firm) rules and guidelines. Stay strong and be firm - it will pay big dividends in your relationship with your son in the long run.
2007-11-04 10:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing a parent can do - keep loving and keep demonstrating that love - be there for him even when it's hard and causes him to say he hates you. Some day he will realize and appreciate what now caused him to say that. I, too, am not sure if a 3 year old is capable of hate, but my 13 year old is - at either time though it is generally a technique used to manipulate. They learn early what gets them their own way and how to use it. One of you has to be the adult and move past this - I think it should be you.
There is a great book out there by Dr. Gottman. I can't find my copy of the book right now, but it is something like emotional intelligence or raising an emotionally intelligent child or something along those lines. If you really want to help him and you, now is the time to start coaching him on issues like this. The basic principal is to acknowledge your child's emotion, label it, allow them to feel it for an appropriately short amount of time and help them find a solution so they feel justified and understood, and don't feel powerless.
2007-11-04 09:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by Jill M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh for god,s sake! 3 year olds have no control or understanding of anger or hate. I recomend that you attend a parenting class to get some knowledge and understanding of whats happening with this child. Dont take this offensively but you may not be parenting him properly, kids only know what they see and what we as parents teach them, so look around in your home and see what positive changes you can make to better your child. If your son sees disfunction and drama in the home, well this is how he will behave. And I cant stress to you enough how important it may be to attend parenting classes, many parents have benifeted greatly from these classes. Good Luck!
2007-11-04 10:11:45 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...fix this right now ......there will be a time soon that he WANTS something .... Use your head.... Ignore him walk away ...keep walking away ...pretend you don't hear him... keep doin this untill he gets hurt emotionally or mad.... When you see him freak look at him in the eyes ...sit him down ..... talk to him and explain how HE feels and HOW he made YOU feel when he said he HATES you..... Make him see the feelings are the same that he was wrong in saying that to you ....Tell him he must never say that again it is mean and wrong . Explain to him you do not or will not help him in any way if he is mean and hateful . Make him apologize . He must learn at a early age that is a emotion and not used to hurt another . Let him know he has hurt you and this is why he must apologize .. Make SURE he understands this...... Lessons learned .
2007-11-04 10:01:49 · answer #5 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You give this ruggie far to much intellectual credit. What he is playing on is your reaction to his hate comments. Ignore it and it will go away. A time out may have some effect, too! Each time he says it, he spends five minutres in the corner. This should bring it to a sreeching halt.
If this doesn't work, trade him in for a cocker spaniel.
2007-11-04 09:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he means it RIGHT now. But not forever. Im guessing you either didnt let him do something he wanted to do... or caught him doing something he shouldnt have been doing. Most kids play the "you dont love me, I dont love you card" to get your attention.
Sometimes kids need tough love. You might want to say if you hate me, thats fine, but this is my house and we still have these rules. While you are here you will abide by them. He might then threaten to leave. If he does.. No matter how much it hurts.. you have to let him go. You cannot let your child emotionally blackmail you into doing what he wants. Stand your ground.
2007-11-04 09:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by Abolir Las Farc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two sons 10 & 13 years old. They have told me that they hate me, don't want to see me, wish they had another mother. It's fine. They say this to get a reaction out of you. To be in control. Don't react......it hurts but you need to keep telling yourself it is a way for them to be in control.
2007-11-04 10:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't ....he just knows he gets a reaction out of you when he says it. He doesn't even know what hate means at that age !!
Next time he says that he hates you just say "that's too bad because I really love you".
2007-11-04 09:54:08 · answer #9 · answered by Lucy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is only 3....He doesn't even know what the word "hate" really means....He is repeating a word that he has heard.....
2007-11-04 09:53:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋