Wife cheats. I want to fix marriage. How?

Question

Wife cheats. I am trying to fix a marriage. How?
Ok long story. A year ago my wife had a year long affair. She got caught. As far as I know affair is over since then. I have given her another chance for many reasons inc. we have a child and I think I love her. I have always been faithful. I feel there is no passion in our marriage. What should I do? I want to make it work. I want her to really love me. I am still hurt.

Answer 1

Hay there just thought i would write your true storie has touched my heart.. i am sorry for your difficulties. sweetie pie i am not sying give up on your marraige at all. have you tryed to contact a counceler or the pastor of your local church. or even get out a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons of your relationship, as far as passion go,s you have to be very creative, you both have to be willing partisapants in your romance department. if your wife refuses to love you the way you should be treated, then maybe she is not the one for you, I know that hurts and i wish with all my heart that you have sucess in your marraige. sit down and have an all out truth session with your wife. lay everthing out on the table of how you feel about the marriage. for your sake and hers dont play dirty what happened in the past is sad and hurtful but to bring it up over and over again will only hinder you success in dealling with this sad situation, may God bless you both, ps and above all do not let your child here you to argue she is more important than your wife and your on going battles. psps if your marriage dose not work out throw all your energys into your relationship with your child and be the best dad that you can, I hope this helps some.

Answer 2

This is something out of the blue right your wife cheats on you want to make the marriage work, you caught her you have a child together you think you love her what is there to think about? There are two loves in my book you love someone for many reasons and than there is being in love so i guess you just love her. If there is know passion in your marriage it is because, you have fallen out of love with this person because of the pain you feel inside, If you can forgive from your heart you have a chance but if you cant forgive from your heart theres the problem. You have to beable to leave the pass in the pass and move on to the present. Yes you are still hurting but i tell you this god can heal this heart if you let him in time things will get better but the both of you have got to want the same thing whether you have a child or not it does not make the marriage complete to people joined to gether by god is complete to be as one and to think as one.

best of luck

Answer 3

You need help fixing your marriage, try a marriage counselor because your wife have to join too...When a woman cheat, its because she is not happy and you need counseling for that purpose. Or you need to just get out of the marriage, because every time something goes wrong she might do the same thing and her excuse is that she's not happy. When she suppose to talk to you about it and seek help together to fix the situations. If you love her get a counselor, and if you don't trust her anymore, then get a divorce because a marriage will not work if you don't have trust...

Answer 4

You are one of the fewest good men that I know, and it is my greatest honor to say that although you are a fool to accept the woman who has cheated for a year and forgave her it takes a strong man to forgive and accept this. I know however you will never forget and staying in the relationship because of the child is not always a strong move. You have to love your wife for all this to work out and her love must be returned( although she may feel guilty right now that she got caugth and would crawl and lick your feet for approval), as for the passion one cannot restore that unless the same feelings are shared by the two people who claim to love one another. Woman feel very low after beig caugth and somtimes feels worthless, but honestly if she had such along relationship what makes you think that she did not love the man. And yet sadly in life we stop loving even our husbands when we choose the path of sin. Good Luck and I hope you get through this, no one deserves it.

Answer 5

Try marriage counseling. You need to make sure you have gone through all the stages of the grieving process to help you heal with her betrayal. Have you forgiven her? It can take a long time and hard work to rebuild your marriage and trust after what expects call the ultimate betrayal. But it is possible. There are some great resources on the internet and some books that will be able to help you deal with the situation. Try reading NOT "Just Friends" by Shirley Glass, For men only by Shaunti Feldhahn, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, His Needs Her Needs by Williard F Harley, Jr., We Can Work It Out by Clifford Notarius, The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John M Gottman, The Road Less Traveled by M Scott Peck. These are just a few good books out there. You may also want to try http://www.infidelity.com/, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/. See about doing one of those marriage weekends seminars. I hear they are absolutely wonderful, you not only learn alot about your marriage and your partner but also alot about yourself. There are some other good websites out there as well just google it. Best of luck to you. I know how you are feeling... I am going through pretty much the same thing right now, except my husband is having the affair right now and can't decide who he wants. You say you think you love her... you probable do still love her, the feelings are just buried and need to take time to resurface again. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 6

wife cheats fix marriage

Answer 7

There's nothing you can do to make it work, unless you BOTH want to make it work. If so, I would suggest you find out why your wife felt the need to fill a void in your marriage with another man. It's not your fault, since the decision to cheat was ultimately hers, but there are always contributing factors. Find out what those factors were. You need to talk, civilly, without blaming each other and move on, if you really want it to work. You can't play the blame game one minute, then play the I forgive you game the next. Talk, cry, share, change, forgive....these are the games you need to play!

Answer 8

Im not proud to say this, but Ive done the same thing your wife has done, so I want you to understand that she cant be trusted and you cant live in denial, dont think because she got caught that its over, she may just be laying low. But at the end of the day, what are you gonna do about her affair? I mean theirs not alot you can do to change her and her personality but you can change yours. I know this may sound strange but women who cheat are women who like a little drama and action in their lives, I mean this is why she did it to begin with, so add some drama in your relationship, heres my recomondation for you- Dont buy her flowers, dont say I love you a million times a day, play a little harder to get, she sounds like a lady that needs excitment, so, spice it up, have her want you! Studies show that if their are lets say, 10 single men sittin at a bar, and their is one married one, which one would your wife seek out? Yep, you guessed it, the married one! We want what we cant have! Now Im not claiming all women are like this, but it seems to fit the bill for your wifes personality and many others. So, show her no affection, and see what happens. I mean, at this point whats their to lose? You may have lost her a long time ago, and she may just be staying in the family home for secutity reasons? So try to win her over by being a jerk, lets face it, I know lots of girls who date and love jerks.

Answer 9

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

Answer 10

Again with the "counseling". WTF??? Counselors have some sort of insight on a problem that's THOUSANDS of years old? Most counselors have cheated, or are cheating, or have been cheated on, and they "counsel" from those perspectives. How are they anymore objective or knowledgeable than the man on the street? Oh, I know, they charge 150 bucks an hour, so now you not only don't have a good marriage because of infidelity, you're broke. I see how that can shift the marital problem from cheating, to financial. I guess it makes sense....NOT!!!!