PART 2 : my wife, weight, sex, and attraction ?

Question

why is that women are not able to understand that love and attraction are not one in the same? a guy can go sleep with a stripper he doesnt love, because she is a visual stimuli. where as for his wife who has gained weght, he loves her but visually not stimulating.... it doesnt mean you are not standing by her side or that you want to leave, or that your ungrateful for the children shes bared, or that your insensitive to her needs.... i beleive that woen are stimulated by there ears, and men are stimulated by there eyes. if over weight women are so attractive why arent there more magazines on the newstands promoting this like there very own victoria secrets....... i love y wife i just need some advice, a solution, cause im not leaving her. i want women to answer this, what is it that you think is a turn on to men?

Answer 1

I dont think you should sleep with other women to satistfy your sexual appetite. How would you feel if she slept went behind your back and slept with someone else because she didnt find you physically attractive anymore. I dont think its fair. Women are stimulated by what they can see aswell.

Your married to her, there must be something about her you find attractive, even when people put on weight they dont suddenly become monsters.

Maybe you should take her to the gym or jogging with you, cook her nice healthy meals and try to encourage and help her loose weight.

Answer 2

You are really perpetuating the stereo type of Men being self serving, inconsiderate pigs.
My husband gained weight due to a health issue, I did not see him as any less attractive than before. Women are visual also, if we were not you'd see beautiful women with fat ugly men. So there is the first part of you being wrong.
I can also tell you that My husband was married to a woman for 8 years that went from an athletic 130lbs. to a blob 300+ lbs. and he did not cheat on her nor leave her over this. He left because she was crazy.
Love is more than sex or sticking around, it's about respect, understanding, acceptance, honesty and caring. You don't sound like a Man who loves his wife. You sound like so many Men that want it all, a perfect family, a beautiful wife and no work for any of it.
Come join us in the real world. You are damaging your family with your own selfishness. That will lead to you sitting alone in a strip club and your Ex wife losing the weight along with the loser and finding a man who truly loves her.

Answer 3

It is regrettable that the inviolate institute of marriage is being weighed against sexual factors instead of family and scial factors.
Sex is a matter between the husband and wife in closed door affairs. Marraiage is honoured person in the house and in society.
Your obsession with female figure should not blind you to your soial obligations.
The immortal singer .......had a plump wife. So many have succeeded by their wives'love and affection and notphysical
endowments.

Answer 4

You're trying to justify your attraction to other women. All men are not like you. At one point in my life I gained a lot of weight. My husband never changed his behavior around me, he still loved me and desired me as much. My personality turned him on!! Turns out because he loved me so much and unconditionally, I was able to lose all the extra weight.

Love your wife with all your heart, that will make her feel good about herself and she will want to give it back to you by losing weight and be as healthy as one can be.

Answer 5

It's funny.

I still see my wife as she was in her 20's. Sure there are physical changes after 25 more years and a couple of kids.

Still the attraction would be there if she wasn't such a witch. Now that's a turn off.

Answer 6

You are a misguided narcissist! You desire having an affair be you are self-indulgent. A self-centered, self-aborbed person like you would have an affair regardless of your wife's physical appearance. A self-centered person (like yourself) CAN NOT be sensitive to the needs of anyone else, but yourself. Life is all about you and what you want! You can't really share your life with another person.

Answer 7

I am over weight and NEVER EVER had trouble getting a man. My boyfriend loves the way I look and I always get compliments on how pretty I am. Weight has nothing to do with nothing.

Answer 8

Hmmmm nice questions wut you have to do ?
Pretty genetic will be different for every women
some of them still looking gorgeous even have a kids
spending yr money to reshape yr wife
make her realize u want her almost beautiful let
her know.

I m understand you cant eat some dishes everyday
but make it more interesting change the recipe new look
U cant blaming her put on weight coz wut she know
have one husband and family to serve but stripper
have to serve tons a man to make money if looking
ugly fat whose going have as sex with them.

Pretty women their have their own class and bench mark
if you are rich guy for sure you well maintain her to look
attractive on yr eyes.

My formulas gorgeous girl/lady only for richest guy

Answer 9

Your problem is you are too wrapped up in the outer package instead of concentrating on the beauty inside. You aren't really concerned about her as much as "what you want" and that spells doom for a marriage when you start thinking that way.

Why is it so many men out there love their wives even when they gain weight? They don't let it bother them because they learned the true beauty is inside his wife and they learn to be loving and understanding and appreciative of the children she bore and the things she has done for him and the family. She has sacrificed over and over to give to them rather than get things for herself. These men know what love is really about and you haven't quite got a handle on that.

When I met my husband, one thing that bothered him was I was overweight but as he grew as a Christian and we talked, he understood about the beauty inside, the love and nurturing ways of a woman who makes him feel like the king of the home. I have disabilities from post polio so he has learned in the 4 plus years we've been married how difficult it is for me to get the weight off like I want to and like I know he wants me to but it no longer is a thorn in his side. He has told me several times he is so glad he ditched the shallow attitude because he can't imagine life without me now.

When your wife had YOUR children, the hormones in her body changed and with each child, things changed even more. A few women manage to get the weight off but most don't and for some, it is difficult to do. And, if you are making her feel less in your eyes, that may be eating at her and causing her to eat more. You may be why she has the weight on and why she doesn't take it off. Yes, YOU may be the problem.

If her weight bothers you so much, why don't the two of you join Weight Watchers and you go TOGETHER so she has your support and encouragement? You can also take walks together with the kids so you get exercise and maybe you and your wife can join the Y so the whole family can go there. They have activities for the kids, depending on their ages, and they have babysitting for the very young.

But the main thing is you need to change your attitude. She is still the same woman you fell in love with (if you ever really loved her for who she is) but if all you fell in love with was the outer package, than you are pitiful and I feel sorry for her.

Thankful to have a wonderful, loving, understanding man as my husband.. May God help you see the light as you reevaluate yourself like my husband did.

Answer 10

i think a man is turned on by a womens confidence and a bubbly personality ,weight has nothing to do with it.

your wife probably has all of this traits but you are only looking for an excuse to get *****