Is sex really important in a relationship?

Question

One day, both couples are not going to be able to have sex, either because of illness or age.

Hey, do you think so? You reminded me about my grandparents. lol

Answer 1

Rae,

I'll answer your question first.

It depends on who you ask. Most folks I know overwhelmingly affirm that the physical part is quite important, both male and female. I also know folks that could not care any less about it...it's just not important to them.

To respond to your statement...yes, if all goes well and one does get to be old enough, one or either will get to the point where they will not be able to respond to their needs.

More folks than not live most of their lives relatively healthy, where they CAN respond to physical needs. So, why shouldn't it be important to someone, for example, who at 70 years of age, has been sexually active for the last 54 years?

Answer 2

Sex IS important but it's not as important as being able to live together with respect, love, and peace. As long as the couple can live day to day and still be loving towards each other then sex is not all that important. A lot of folks tend to put WAY too much emphasis on the sex part of the relationship and ignore developing the day to day side of it and end up being unhappy. Two folks can't spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, making love. At SOME point, they're going to have to talk to each other and it's at that point that relationships tend to fall apart. Folks don't know how to relate to each other outside of the bedroom.

BB,
Raji the Green Witch

Answer 3

Yes sex is really important.
Monogamous relationships are like contracts. Both parties agree to be mutually exclusive to one another. No one else should receive certain goods and services from outside sources the sake of damaging the "business."

This encompasses a lot of things: hand holding, kissing, petting, late night phone calls/dates with another person and any other compromising situation. This list also consists of anything considered taboo by society. That really is the meaning of committment.
Sex is a basic need of humanity as a whole in the sense of reproduction, but it is not a BASIC need of each individual person. We would continue to live out this life whether we do it or not. The problem, however, is that we are programmed by way of hormones to desire it. Once someone loses their virginity, that desire grows exponentially.
Your argument, that one day they will not be able to have sex, is valid but does not address the issues of today. Right now and for the next few years of the foreseeable future...that need will continue.

Now back to that "contract." If an athlete is paid to endorse a certain food chain, it is possible that they have a clause that prevents them from going to another establishment. However, I doubt there is no provision in the contract that says they cant eat, EVER.

Sex should really be discussed prior to getting into a relationship, much the same way future goals are discussed. You don't want to marry a family man and you never want to have kids. On the same token, you don't want to get into a relationship with someone who wants to have sex frequently and you dont. Its not fair to either person b/c one side is going to feel guilty or unsatisfied.

Now that doesn't mean you give in b/c its your civic duty or something. You still weigh the consequences of doing it vs those of not doing it. Ultimately, not doing it means you will eventually lose your loved one. The consequences of doing it remain the same...pregnancy, STD and compromised morals. Well is that person worth those things? Be honest with yourself. If you're in 12th grade...hell no! You have your whole life ahead of you. Be realistic, you love the guy but you been together for eight months, you'll date plenty of people in your life.
If you're in your mid twenties or thirties, well how serious are you about the guy. What committment do you feel from him. Your situation dictates the weight of either side, but please dont fall into the trappings of those who proclaim from soap boxes that sex isn't important.

Answer 4

Sex is NOT important in a relationship. Your right, one day you will both be old and not be able to have sex like you did when you got married. At that time in your life you'll want your communication and personalities to be the most important thing in your relationship.

Sex is like a TV... It's fun when it's working but, if you lost the remote, then you better hope you picked a good connection... :-D

Answer 5

Excellent question. I wish I had dared to ask it.

* There are times when loving, commited lovers abstain from the act for reasons like focusing on the newborn child, busy-ness exaustion, physical reasons like heart trouble and even birth control without the controversual use of the pill.

* There are loving couples that are asexual for some unexplored reason. (Is it best left unexplored???)

* There are believers in the Word of God who stay virgins until marriage. We did...abd so did our children! That did not prevent relationships building toward good, healthy marriages.

* Sometimes you may marry a person who has a sexual aversion, even if you are gung ho. Loving spouses can wait for permission, just like celebacy before marriage, working toward a cure.

* Some chose celebacy bravely, and yet they are very able to have loving relations.

* There are levels of sexuality below THE act, such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, ... oh-h-h ... I gotta quit that thought...my wife is out!

Answer 6

love is very important in a relationship. making love is important in a relationship but with time the actual definition of making love will change. early in romance when there is love present , holding hands brings closeness, a kiss a hug....it is the sharing of the love that is important and it is an expression of intimacy..of love. as the romance evolves this expression will take on the form of actually making love to one another. For many men the tenderness that they share in these times may be the best--maybe even the only way that they know to express their love and they may be vulnerable in these times like they would not allow themselves to be at any other. For this reason they may be easily hurt or embarrassed or even humiliated---women are the same. they seek to please their mate and until the act is comfortable to both & agreed upon by both they remain this way.
as the relationship matures making love becomes even better---a true expression of their feelings for each other. For the couple that endures the tests of time---and the trust they have in each other's love--- making love may become less important in the sense that they no longer need it to confirm their love but it will remain an almost spiritual expression of their love.
drugs and different techniques now prolong the period of time during which they may enjoy making love but still a time will come when it is no longer physically possible for the actual act of love making but by that time ...again the definition comes into play. walking hand in hand will again become a primary expression of love and the hugs and kisses will be a confirmation of their love for each other.
so my answer would be that yes--making love is important but expressing love is far more important in a relationship. It is the enduring act of expressing love and the endearing expression of love that is and will always be most important.

Answer 7

Well depends on the people. Some think its very important others don't. Do I personally think its important? Being military family its important when its around but you can live with out it for 15 to 18 months at a time. I think you asked the wrong person hehehe

Answer 8

Yes, it is incredibly important. It might not be important when you become old and sick, but by then you've built your relationship into something solid enough that it doesn't require sex to still be very fulfilling. Your priorities and needs probably change when you become, you know, elderly. However, until I'm physically unable to have sex, sex will remain a very high priority for me in my relationship.

Answer 9

Yes and no. When I was younger and the hormones were screaming so bad that if I didn't have an orgasm for awhile my chest would start to hurt and my eyes would tend to cross and my hands would shake, then it was critical. Unfortunately it wasn't so important to my wife, possibly because I wasn't successfully pleasing her, and had no idea how to romance her. In fact, I resented her desire to be romanced as all the techniques she described were the same ones I had learned from the locker room Lotharios to get one night stands and otherwise use and abuse females. We eventually split up, when she said she wanted to be celibate from then on and I said she could make that decision for herself but not for me.
Now, I am older, and it takes much longer for the lack of sex to start bothering me. But, the lack of the closeness that comes with lovemaking still matters and tends to cause me to drift away from my current wife, to the point that she notices, and wise woman that she is, makes a point of letting me know that she wants to be close also.

Answer 10

It isn't that sex is important as much as it is that both partners agree on their views about sex.

Yes, one day both couples will not be able to have sex due to age, but that's ok - since they will both agree!

But if one partner likes sex a lot, or is adventurous in the bedroom, and the other likes sex once a month in the missionary position every time, there will be problems.

And that isn't shallow. Sexual chemistry is as important as intellectual or emotionally chemistry, as much as we hate to admit it. Trying to deny it is like saying that girls don't fart - it's a self decepetion that we tell ourselves because of social norms. We are all sexual beings.