My boyfriend is the father just 4 the record. I first found out I was 5 weeks pregnant a few days ago. At first I cried; I was surprised, it was unplanned, and though lately I have been envying my pregnant and excited friends (a lot of people I know are pregnant right now, seems like it's contagious lol), but I just did not expect it. I decided I should get an abortion one of the reasons is fear. So when I broke the news to my boyfriend 2 days ago and added my decision to terminate, he agreed with me. He said he'd support me in whatever decision I make but that if I decide to continue the pregnancy he needs to know soon so we can begin to plan financially. I felt set on getting an abortion; it seemed like the easiest and simplest way out though I am aware there are many emotional (and physical) consequences to such a porcedure. However these last 2 days I have fallen in love with the idea of being a mother. I keep thinking about whether it will be a boy or girl. I want to keep my baby
2007-11-03 19:09:34 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you want to, keep it..its truely your choice.
2007-11-03 19:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by Breyton Ridgley 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others who said that it sounds like you have answered your own question. I guess that you are looking for reassurance that you have made the right decision?
Please do not let anyone tell you that just because your pregnancy is unplanned your child is any less wanted or will be any less loved. The shock of an unplanned pregnancy initially causes a panic. But once people find out that there is real human being involved, there heads and hearts start taking charge and sorting things out to plan for the baby.
It sounds like your boyfriend has a level head and knows that your child together is his responsibility as well. Even though he initially agreed to an abortion does not mean that he will not be excited about the baby.
From what you posted, I am afraid that if you go ahead with the abortion you will have serious regrets. My heart tells me it is not for you.
(And please ignore the answers here that mention adoption. Shame on them! Adoption is not an option that was mentioned at all.)
2007-11-03 23:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why it's good to take your time when making these kinds of decisions. My cousin became pregnant and decided to get an abortion. She had other friends who had gone through the procedure and thought that it would be hard but didn't fully understand how bad it would make her feel emotionally. After she had the abortion she took it really hard. Now she cant even stand to be examined without breaking into tears because it reminds her of the procedure.
That is just her experience. It's your body and your choice. If you are becoming attached to he idea of having this baby keep it. If you want the abortion take the time to really think about how you will feel after it is over. It is something that you will always remember.
Also for the record she had did not have the support of her husband. She also became pregant again but fell ill and her doctors told her that she would not survive the pregnancy nor would the child so she had to go through it again. After that I think her reaction to it is even worse.
2007-11-03 19:29:42 · answer #3 · answered by luvtko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like your boyfriends actually said he wants you to have an abortion. It sounds like he agreed with your choice. He also had a back up plan in case you changed your mind and said he would support whatever decision you make. It sounds like he really loves you and doesn't want to influence your decision on this. I think you should talk to him and explain how you feel - maybe he really wants to keep the baby only he didn't want to say this earlier in case you really wanted an abortion (and that could make you feel bad). In any case, he already said he would stand by you either way - so if you feel you want to keep the baby you definately should! Follow your gut instinct and you can't go wrong! Lots of luck and congratuations!
2007-11-04 00:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you've already made up your mind. Congratulations! Be happy. You just entered a new chapter in your life. Yeah, it's intimidating, but so is everything else that is great in life - all the milestones like starting school, graduation, stuff like studying abroad, marriage, and of course, having a baby. Anything that has a big payoff starts out scary in the beginning, and no one has ever said it's not worth it. People have, however, regretted other unfortunate, permanent decisions they can't take back. So do what's in your heart, only you know what is right for you.
2007-11-03 20:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by jimigirl17 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 41 weeks pregnant. When I found out, I was in the same predicament; shocked, surprised, I felt my life being over. My then fiance (who's now my husband) was happy, but at the same time surprised as well.
He wanted a baby more than me, and for the 1st 3 months, many thoughts ran thru my head, but finally realized that taking another's life wasn't the answer to solving the issue.
Child bearing and child birth, is truly a gift from GOD. Do you know how many women would die to be in our shoes (being pregnant?).
Children are truly blessings, life will definately be much challenging, but it's well worth it.
Good luck!
2007-11-03 20:26:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot depends on how old you are, how mature you are, and what your financial situation is.
Do you have a good job and are you financially independent, or do you live with your parents?
Do you have a college degree or at least a certificate from a trade school that assures you'll be able to have a decent career, or are you still in high school / working a minimum wage job?
If your answers are the latter choices then you're probably not ready to be a mother, no matter how warm & gooey the thought of having a baby makes you feel. It's not like playing with Barbie dolls, it's a 24/7 job and the baby always, ALWAYS comes first. The sad fact is that most high school and college students simply aren't prepared for the hard facts of parenthood ... especially if you're not married.
If you're not prepared to properly care for the child, then please consider adoption. It's the best thing for the baby, and for you.
However, if you are prepared to properly care for the child then I wish you the best of luck.
2007-11-03 19:22:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm one of those people who believes all babies are a blessing, and a gift from God.
Life isn't easy. Life choices aren't easy. Children aren't easy. But, abortion is a decision that will haunt you for the rest of your life, unless you're 1,000% certain it's the right choice for you. I know scores of women who've had abortions, and only one of them is still ok with her decision, years later.
If you want to keep your baby, then keeping your baby is the only choice for you to make. You said your boyfriend told you he'd support any decision you made, and that he just wanted to know if he should be planning financially. That doesn't sound to me like he wants the pregnancy terminated.
It sounds like you're doubly blessed, with a child, and with a man who loves you and wants to plan for the future of the family you're starting. I am very happy for you! You're going to be fine.
2007-11-03 19:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by teaser0311 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you?
Can you support the baby emotionally, financially?
Babies are cute an all but they also poop, cry,are helpless and need care 24/7 for the next 18 years at least. Your whole lifestyle WILL have to change if you decide to keep the baby. Please be responsible and good luck with whatever your decision is.
2007-11-03 19:26:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was scared when i found out i was pregnant with my first born it's a scary thing but don't get an abortion that's not an answer my pregnancy wasn't planned either but i went with it.
All need to do is say hey i'm keeping the baby if he stays or not that's his lost. Then from there you get on some insurance like medicaid your going to need your check ups. Start little at a time. I thought to myself i couldn't do it and now i have two boys i'm still here and doing fine.
2007-11-03 19:25:25 · answer #10 · answered by Adrianne R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He didn't say that he actually wanted you to get an abortion. If you have his support you should go ahead and have the baby. I know someone that is pregnant right now and because she had a couple of abortions, she is now having pregnancy complications and has to be on bedrest. It is not only this baby's life that would be affected, but future babies that you might have.
2007-11-03 19:13:41 · answer #11 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋