Why can GAY MEN see qualities in bigger women that st8 guys can't?

Question

As a heavier girl, it seems like gay men can see great qualities in me. I am funny, caring, sweet.

Stright men don't pay me much attension. But they pay my thinner friends attension and even seem to make up qualities for them like "they just know they are a good person underneath, misunderstood".

I volunteer, I donate, I am good to my parents, respectful.

Why is it gay men that care enough to see these qualities where st8 do not?

Answer 1

Not to be mean to the guys, but some of them don't care. They don't want your friendship, they want... well you know. Even when it comes to a long-term relationship or marriage, they still don't care. Fact is, you can fall in love with anyone regardless of their character flaws. They would rather it be someone who looks good than someone who's well-adjusted. Granted, there are a lot of guys who aren't like this, but it's biology. Physical health is a sign of fertility and good genes, plus they get their alpha male trophy girl.
Try a new circle of friends, not ditch the one you have, but try and meet different types of people.

Answer 2

Fat has such a negative connotation with it that not only are heavier people seen as evil, but people that associate with them are considered the same. A study in UK a few years ago say that if a man (Regardless of the link between sexual preference and apperance) walks with a larger woman, more than 1/2 the people that observe it more than temporarily will have negative thoughts about him.

Society unfortunately has a high barring on sexual preference these days unfortunately, and that is why there's a lot of groups whose attractions are known tend to be shunned. It's media-induced fear I'd say. It goes in many directions: Even the guys that try to understand people's feelings and positive inner qualities are usually shunned by their peers, because that's seen as non-masculine, and even indicative of another trait that may be interpreted as negative: Being gay.

Some people fight against the fire though:

I've been openly dating larger women and thinner women for the last three years. My family knows, my friends know, and people that see my myspace page tend to get the idea with the variety of bodytypes observed. I like a lot of diversity when it comes to this kind of thing. Hehe.. ^_^

I guess to really sum it up:
It is very true that men are more visual than women when it comes to thing such as relationships (Or in general), but the fact that our society makes beauty almost objective makes it seem as if we are shallow, when a lot of us aren't: Our society just fuels it.

Don't you give up now...

Answer 3

Because gay guys are more sensitive to peoples feelings. Some guys just want to have their jollies and aren't interested in anything that has a brain. They just want two boobs and a you know what. They think with the head that sees no light. Someone will come along that will adore you for all the wonderful qualities you have. People are very visual. Don't be in a hurry and never settle!!!

Answer 4

You know what's funny is I was thinking about this 2 hours ago! I wish I knew. I, too, am a bigger girl who's got a lot to offer but didn't have the chance with thin friends around.

I guess gay guys just know that without the pressure of being with a socially attractive girl (i.e. thin and popular) they're free to see the sides of people that chick-hunting guys don't want to look at. And that's very unfortunate!

Answer 5

That's because Gay men see the real women inside of all us curvy girls, and real men cant get past the appearance. Most straight guys are looking for the girls that they view in the media, on magazines, etc. and we are just blurs of people walking by. But thank goodness there are still several real men, not boys, that can see what we are; Real Women! And they can love us, for us. Be patient your real man is out there somewhere! Have fun being you, while you wait!

Answer 6

Because the gay men are not trying to get into the females pants. They see you for who you really are. The straight guys just want to get laid. The guy that was made for YOU will come along and then he will see all that is great about you. Until then, you have some great guy friends to hold on to.

Answer 7

i hope this helps but a lot off straight men need a woman as a "see how lovely this girl is"and you cant have her and they r very narrow minded and bigoted towards larger woman only IF they look beyond the exterior they will see a lovely person and gay men r more understanding as they r in touch with there sexuallity more

Answer 8

Its probably because gay men are looking for trustworthy, good friends were as most men are just looking for a casual relationship. Sadly, men choose looks over personality for casual relationships. (psychology experiment) But for long term relationships they choose personality overall.

You seem like a great person :)

Answer 9

Gay men are not interested in females as lovers, so they see past their looks and actually get to know them. Straight men depend on women's looks first before getting to known them so looks are pretty much a barrier.

Answer 10

Because in short they are connected with the femine side of their life to know you are in pain from the no attention from your opposite gender. Girl,who are those loosers? Find your avenue of better friends. They are out there. Honey you looking in all the wrong places. Life is to short to be waistin time on someone who don't appreciate life friends'