For parents and non-parents- Your opinions please. thank you!?

Question

My husband and I are in our late twenties.We met a group of close friends when we were in grad school for 2 years. Since then, we all moved across the country but we all meet up once a year for a long weekend.
There are 6 other couples and now we are the only ones without kids or pregnant.We are fine with this,but we often feel excluded by them.For instance,on our trip last year we shared a room w/another couple that didn't have kids.We paid the same amount as everyone else who had their own rooms.I was kind of mad but let it go because at least we didn't feel we were the only ones singled out.I'm pretty easy going in general.
This year, one friend is getting a head start on the trip planning.She found some 6 bedrooms and sent them to everyone to see if we liked any.She mentioned me and my hubby could sleep in the loft since we don't have kids.The loft is fully open to living room.I feel this is a timeto enjoy my hubby AND friends(hubby has no time off & bad hrs so I dont c him much

I left out that we are looking for a big house to rent for the weekend, not a hotel.
Also,I would like privacy to be physical :) but more importantly, just to be able to have a place to change, maybe sleep in, etc. (Last time, we had one friend whose husband couldn't come (only other couple w/no kids) and she slept in a den w/out doors. The kids woke her up every morning at 6am to eat breakfast).
Also, the kids are all between newborn- 4yrs old.
My husband tried to make a joke to everyone this time around that we didn't want to sleep in a hallway this time so maybe we could find a 7 bedroom. One couple e-mailed back that we could have their room IF we took their kids but that we might need therapy afterwards.She was obviously joking but it just feels like no-one is taking us seriously and that we are lesser because we don't have kids.
The room isn't a huge deal but I guess we just consistently feel that they treat us differntly now that they all have kids/pregnant . . .

Answer 1

When you pay the full price as everyone else you should get what you pay for.

You will both have to explain to your friends, you don't mind paying one sixth of the rent, so that being said, you want a room just like everyone else.

If your friends keep making smart alikee (on the spelling so just sound it out) sorry....comments like if you take our kids room though you'll need help or something like that, I don't think that's funny either.

Just tell your friend who suggested if you would take a loft, no thanks, this is our vacation to. and since we are willing to pay one sixth (keep saying that in case they end up getting a 7 bedroom house) you'd at least expect a bedroom out of it.
Nip this one in the bud very quickly. Just say no way, we need a queen size bedroom.

If they don't respect your wishes then your feelings of being excluded could be on target.

I know my friends who remarried and had their 2nd families with kids either started treating me differently because I choose not to have anymore children or we just didn't have that in common anymore. I still have friends with kids in high school. We are all grown adults and we have kids grown and gone the same age, but we can never seem to get together and we do not live that far apart.

We just don't have the kid situation going on together any longer and yes at times I feel excluded, but there is nothing I can do about it. In your case you are much younger than I am and it's good to try and keep your friends and see them.

It's also important they realize that you guys are paying the rent, their kids aren't.

Answer 2

I would politely say that you are uncomfortable in the loft area due to the fact that it is fully exposed to the rest of the room. With your Husband being away so much you were really planning to take full advantage of this vacation and a loft bedroom would be inappropriate, so would there be a better solution? Or maybe you could check with the hotel yourself and try to book your own room on the same block of dates, explaining your situation. Any couple will understand.

Answer 3

Your upset, because she wants you to have the loft which equals no privacy?

First of all, I think you have a right to be bothered, and you should not be expected to have different arrangements because of their kids.

Maybe they have things this way because they dint want the kids to bother you, if they wake in the night, or cry. It could be they are trying to be nice, and not disturb you.

I think you should point out, you would enjoy a private room, heaven forbid one of the kids see you when your tryng to have "alone" time.

You have a valid point, and I think you should give your friends the benefit of the doubt, and talk to them about it. So they dont feel bad if the kids are a nuisance, and you get your privacy with your hubby.

Answer 4

Well, tell them that you also need a room for your privacy as others have.Once is enough but two is too much..! I mean you had been sharing with couples in one room with your first trip and that's fine.But this time they should know that you also need some privacy, not having a child is not an excuse of depriving your privacy they should know that and you should tell them, if they are a friend indeed they will understand if not, I don't think they cared for you.

Answer 5

You totally deserve your own room & privacy. Let someone with kids have the loft...they don't have privacy anyway. I do sympathize with the kid people(having had a few)...the more room the better if you have kids, & you can contain them if you have a room of your own.
Why can't you get your own room & let the oldest kids sleep in the loft which they would LOVE. & give the parents a little privacy of their own.
Let ALL of the kids sleep in the loft...slumber party.(How young are these kids?)
Sharing a room with another couple is really bad...talk about no privacy.

Answer 6

in the planning stage of a trip, you can announce to everybody that you & your husband will take a separate room, or that you & your husband would like to draw lots with the rest as to who would get the loft, :-D In this way, accomodation arrangement would be pleasant to all the couples going.

just a note though - it is a li'l surprising to me why your friends will assign you to a loft when that same place would be best for a couple with a kid(or kids) as they would not worry on a child falling down from the bed in the middle of the night & other similar advantage(s). for this observation, i think it would be best for you to open up your concern with your friends.

happy trip :-)

Answer 7

I think if you want a romantic weekend, you and your husband need to take that alone. Ideally, everyone would leave their kids with relatives and you could enjoy an adult weekend, but that's not happening.

There's a reason for wanting a room with a door for kids... if they go to bed earlier, you can close the door and they can sleep.

Answer 8

If you must vacation with this group of people, then explain to all of them that it is not very comfortable to be able to be seen by all when you and your hubby are together.
Ask each one of them if they would mind you staying in a bedroom and someone with children staying in the loft.
Since they would not be doing anything in bed and you will.

Although it is only for one weedend a year, they should be happy to accomodate you. Tell them that this way, you may be sharing a room with a child next year. (even though you
may not, who cares, they don`t have to know)

Answer 9

Not having children doesn't make you less important. I would speak with them. And gently point out that last year you had to share a room an this year they want you to sleep in an open loft. Remind them that this is your vacation just as much as theirs and you would like a room that you and your husband are able to enjoy.

Answer 10

If I were in that situation, I would not want to be in the loft either.

I think I would gently inform them that I would appreciate it if all married couples were given the same privacy level for their accommodations, whether they have kids or not.

And perhaps suggest that someone's kids sleep in the loft, because you & your hubby aren't planning to do so. :)