A certain positions demeaning to women?

Question

I recently learned that my gf of 4 months seems to think that "taken from behind" (no, I don't mean in the exit door) positions are disrespectful and demeaning towards women, because it means we don't want to look at their face, or something.
Do any other women feel this way? I have never heard this and honestly don't know where she came up with that idea. I certainly do not feel or think about it that way so, what's the deal?

Answer 1

That is just your GF's opinion or one that has been fed to her. If that were true, then the Kama Sutra would not have remained popular for centuries. It's only demeaning to her if SHE thinks it is. And if that's demeaning to her what will the next thing be?

You either love her so much that you are willing to give that up and live with it, as well as whatever else springs up in her mind that she doesn't like. I have a feeling this isn't the only thing she "doesn't like" that you will have to give up. And that doesn't mean it has to be sex.

Or, you cut your losses as you have only been dating a short time and end the relationship. Politely say it just isn't working out for you, sorry, good luck and good-bye.

Think about it and I hope you make the best choice for YOU.

Answer 2

I'm sorry, but I literally cracked up laughing at this one. I don't agree with your girlfriend at all. I think "doggy" is absolutely fun but just not all the time. If you've changed it up a lil then I don't see the big deal. She has the right to feel as she wants to about your acts in the bedroom, but seriously "demeaning to women"? The only time I've felt it was demeaning was when I was having my face pressed into the mattress or the floor. She needs to understand you have no problems looking at her face or the rest of her body, but she shouldn't be made to only do things your way either. It may also have to do with a bad sexual exprience before you that she doesn't want to talk about. Whatever the case wether we think she's a nut job or not you're the one with her and if certain positions are a must for you occassionally or this is a deal breaker than that is your decision, but I honestly think it's an excuse for her to KNOW you aren't thinking of another woman while having sex with her cuz you're looking at her. Even though I know you can fantasize even with her talking and looking you in the eyes cuz we all can and prolly have.

Answer 3

Believe it or not but deep down in the primeval state it is the woman who decides WHEN and the man who decides HOW. If the man can't accept it when a woman says no not now, then he has a problem. If the woman can't accept how her man wants his positions then she has a problem. How ever big or small it is the problem is still there. If she has any wisdom about this she would know there is nothing demeaning about that at all. Further more she should know that when she gives her man what he wants then he'll do anything for her.
I hope she doesn't expect too much from you, because it sounds like she isn't willing to give you very much.

Answer 4

Isn't it`wonderful how some see situations only in their own narrow terms?

For those women who make this choice and prefer this position, are they not being disrespectful and demeaning of their partners similarly?

Perhaps positions aren't demeaning so much as mindset and intent -- but these are more difficult to establish than vapid assumptions.

Answer 5

if you both like it, whatever it is, then it's respectful.

If one of you doesn't like it, then it's disrespectful.

Lastly, some times it takes a while to really comfortable to disclose what your true kinks are. Fresh in love has the fairytale of sex must be sooo... romantic, and your GF may still be in that mode.....Try reading Susie Bright's columns/books for some real eye openers, and a little loosening of inhibitions. Susie Bright writes in a matter of fact manner that makes one look at things you used to call kinky and say, hmm...why not?

Your gf may say it's demeaning when what she really wants to say is it doesn't get me where I want to go. When females are young it is hard to speak in a genuine voice about sexual
preferences. ( Very easy to fake it though).

Or maybe you make some really funny faces during it and she likes to secretly smirk at you. However four months I would think that you two would be moving into a little more exploration. If she is unwilling or unable, too shy etc, it may indicate that the menu offered on the sexual buffet is limited.

Answer 6

People find different things demeaning because they attach various meanings to them. Your partner's view is not typical, but it isn't uncommon either and it isn't a "hang up", just a reflection of her sensibility. You should respect it, though you might reassure her that your feelings about it have no intent to demean.

And at the risk of making things more graphic, have you discussed mirrors? That might facilitate eye contact during such acts.

Answer 7

No, it's certain missionaries who told the "savages" they set out to convert to their religion that doggy style was uncivilized and barbaric. It's actually the most natural sexual position in the world. Nearly every animal in the world does it that way. Actually, if anything, the missionary position is probably the most degrading for women. That's the position most commonly used by rapists. In that position, women are on the bottom and totally subdued.

Answer 8

I can kind of understand where she is coming from. I mean put yourself in her position (pun intended, lol) for a second. Wouldn't you feel this position is a little less "romantic" than the others? As long as you are not ALWAYS wanting to do it this way then it shouldn't be an issue. Just make her feel loved, and let her know that you love making love to her in all postions, and that it has nothing to do with looking at her.

Maybe you should compliment her more often b/c she sounds insecure about herself with you.

***Whoever is "thumbs-downing" everyone's answers really needs to get a life...

Answer 9

Some women feel the pressure to be "good" and sexually do things that "good girls" do. She probably heard it from another person who was trying as hard to spread the words of "being good."

I would just talk to her, use reasoning and try to "uncondition" her mind of the bs she has been fed. If she trusts you, feels safe, knowing you won't look down on her or think of her any differently, then it will be easier for her to open up. But ultimately, you can't really pressure anybody into doing something they are not comofortable with.

Answer 10

Some women actually enjoy that position and don't feel demeaned at all. But if a woman feels uncomfortable having sex a certain way, just don't have it that way.