I got married in july of this yr (2007) and my husband thinks I'm cheating on him, he's even accused me of cheating on him with his 14 yr old brother and 1 of his lil friends... I've NEVER gave him a reason to think I would cheat on him at all...I know he's insecure so u ain't gotta tell me that...I know he is...But damn! It's bull, he tells me he is ugly,fat,etc...and says I wanna move back to my hometown and not be up here with him etc...What should I do? If it keeps up I may just leave him!!!!
2007-11-03 17:59:24 · 24 answers · asked by x_farrah_x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
But how could he be cheating on me? He works all the time and when he is off he is home with me 24/7...There's not been any time that he could of had time to go cheat...and we met in march 07 and married july 07 yeah yeah! I know wayyy tooo fast...But I love him...I donno? I wrote him a letter last nite sayin I love him and wouldnt cheat etc..and he's actually been nicer and more loving and hasnt accused me in a few days...so what gives?
2007-11-03 18:12:07 · update #1
Well to the last answer...If he is cheating he must be gay because he is a coal miner and works 12 hrs a day 1,500 foot underground with a crew of 5 men...so??.... :o/
2007-11-03 18:23:24 · update #2
Sometimes the accuser is the one cheating
2007-11-03 18:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me I have been married for 4 years and about 2 years ago my husband started accusing me of cheating. O.k. two things might be happening here or he is very insecure or he is the one that is cheating and because he is the one that is doing it therefor he thinks you are too it is the classic scenario because he doesn't want to be the only one that is wrong. If he he is just very insecure you have to talk to him and tell him exactly what you told us that you love him but his jealous rampages are putting you in the verge of leaving him but take a second to think that he loves very much and that he just thinks that he is protecting his family by trying to prevent something from happening. I am sure that if this is the case that you guys can work it out maybe even with some counseling. If he is cheating then the ball is in your court and it is up to you to see if you consider to stay with him or not but before you make a hasty decision think about what you are doing because if you leave him and then get back with then you are saying that if next time he does this to you you will forgive and get back with him. Make sure also that you know for a fact that he is cheating because then you will be doing what he is doing now to you. All in all if you love this man then consider all points before you go and throw your marriage away. I hope I was able to help you.
2007-11-03 18:22:30 · answer #2 · answered by gabrielaqlejandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's not happy and he may be up to something; while his conscience is getting to him, he's accusing YOU of cheating. Sorry, but this relationship sounded doomed from the start. When a man is so insecure that he believes his 14 year old brother got a piece of his wife... I can't do anything but shake my head. If you two can get help and work through his issues for the better of the marriage, great. If not, hey it's only been three months, Isn't there like a 6 month trial period? You should still be able to throw him back!
LOL
All jokes aside...
Either get counseling or get on the first thing smoking back to wherever you came from!
Not trying to be harsh, just honest
Feel me?
2007-11-03 18:23:07 · answer #3 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he puts you down, why do you stay? That right there is BS. Either he is way insecure, or cheating himself. I
n any case, there isn't much you can do to "prove" to him your not cheating. From experience everything I tried to do it never got better, only worse.
Did he do this before you were married? Were you together along time before you got married? Has he had an ex that cheated on him? If you want to stay and get this resolved you (and he) will need to take a close look as to why he is so insecure.
I wish you luck.
2007-11-03 18:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by Andrea M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to consider going to marriage counseling. There are major problems in your relationship. It sounds like he is insecure. I would reassure him that you are not cheating. Talk to him about the reasons he think you are cheating and tell him the truth that if things don't change you will leave. Hopefully talking will help, and if needed go to a marriage counselor that you both agree on.
2007-11-03 18:12:20 · answer #5 · answered by steffiegirl815 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him, suggest counseling and go w/ him for support. it sounds like you need to do something and be careful in your choice. someone who puts themselves down and feels insecure could be a time bomb just ticking away... Once you've tried all you can to help and if your still not happy, if you decide to leave, make sure your situation is safe. i know he's your husband but do you really know him that well. There have been so many situations on the news lately where a young lady is in a relationship and she wants to end it with an insecure man and he ends up trying to kill her. i hope your situation isn't this extreme but, we live in a crazy world with alot of crazy people. just be careful and do what makes you happy.
2007-11-03 18:10:04 · answer #6 · answered by telephonegirl33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly the most paranoid of partners are usually cheaters themselves. I would tell him to quit accusing you and not to talk to you about it any further unless he has proof and that you are not willing to talk about it any further. In the meantime... you need to start your own little investigation but prepare yourself for what you are likely to uncover. But... just like you have now told him. Never accuse without proof and never reveal all that you know because when you do he will go deeper underground where it will be harder for you to keep track. Gather proof and use it to either get help for the two of you or to hand over to your divorce attorney.
Good Luck dear,
~Tyed~
2007-11-03 18:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by owltyedup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone with that much insecurity needs help. The only way for this to stop is for him to compose himself and build some trust and self confidence. A relationship without trust is a broken relationship. It needs to be healed or things will QUICKLY go bad. Sit down with him and address the situation... if you have the means, go see a marriage counselor.
2007-11-03 18:04:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow he is accusing you of cheating on him with his 14 year old brother.....thats deep. He needs to see a counselor of some sort because he has a really low self esteem.You should go with him. Or maybe couples therapy
2007-11-03 18:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by Fabuloso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, the one accusing the other person is usually the one doing the cheating. Try marriage counseling and you need to be upfront about all your feelings towards his accusations. Let him know he's driving you away.
2007-11-03 18:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by mlvue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs counseling on his self esteem or get in a gym. If you think he needs to go. You both should enroll and go together. Just shower him with your love and tell him he was the same as you married and if you didn't want to be with him and him only then why would you have gone through with the ceremony
2007-11-03 18:04:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋