Brother is rude and I'm the one who gets in trouble!?

Question

I have a 15 year old brother who is so rude. He's in to body boarding and today he went out when there was no patrol which is against my Mum's rules and then he lied about it.

My Mum isn't even punishing him, she 'spoke to him' and told him that she was only doing it for his safety and he told her to shut up. I then told him to grow up and show some respect and be grateful. He replied 'shut the f*uck up you stupid b*itch'. My Mum didn't even tell him off. He has rules, but if he breaks them then there is no punishment and I get told off for his trouble making.

If I spoke to anyone I would have my laptop/cellphone/ipod confiscated . My brother always pushes the boundaries and gets away with it. My Mum buys him everything he wants and more.

I always get spoken to like I'm not important and that my opinions don't matter. I live in this house too. I'm 17 so I can't move out yet.

I can't live here anymore, what do I do? Please.

I have spoke to her and she told me that when I have children I'll know what it's like. I told her my children would never ever be able to get away with speaking to anyone like that and if they did there would be serious punishment.

I'm not answering or talking to either of them.

Answer 1

OMG! I thought my family was only like that! My brother is 15, and im 17. I have more rules then he does, i have to be a certain age for eveything, and then when i finally get it, my mom buys it for him at the same time. I was 15, b4 i got a cellphone, my brother got it at 13. When i was in elementary school i had to be in bed by 7:30, my brother was also in school and he got to stay up until 9:30, 10:00pm. My brother failed outta the 9th grade, and has to repeat it. i am graduating this year, with straight A's. My brother curses shut up u f ucking b itch, and she does nothing, not matter what i tell her, she dont care. I hardly ever talk back, and lately i cant take it anymore, so i've been acting out, getting c's. and she yells at me for getting bad grades. So, i cant tell you anything, b.c i havent even figured it out for myself. But when i do, you'll be the first person i tell.

Answer 2

Dear Sarah,

An alternative, to leaving physically, is leaving emotionally. You may emotionally detach, from anyone, who is causing you emotional pain. You may make a conscious choice, to engage in the observer perspective. You then become a disinterested party, not involved in the drama. It doesn't mean you should ignore those around you, or be rude in any manner. You are still present, cognitively only, not emotionally. Think of yourself as an improvisational actor. There is no script, and the dialog is of no consequence.

Following is a brief reference:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_detachment

Please note: I am talking about the second definition, in the reference cited above.

Remember, you can't change others. You can change, how you respond to them. They can change themselves, if they choose to do so.

Also, There are times, where physical separation from another, is the ultimate answer. However, it isn't the only response, or necessarily the best response. In life you will always find adversaries, wherever you go. You can't always be on the run; you need to deal with them.

Larry

Answer 3

Sorry to tell you something. I was once in your shoes. Unfortunately, parents always favor the younger one and put the blame on the older child for the younger one's mistakes. There is nothing you can do. At this point, you have to think about being independent and move out on your own next year. Do you have a job? If yes, start concentrating on school, college, and manage your money wisely. Do not worry about your mom or brother's attitude too much. It is just going to let you down more. All you do now is worry about yourself and your future plans. This year is very important to you. After you move out, you will always say to yourself that you will never have to deal with your mom and your brother's bad attitude again.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

Hi Wabby, Yes your brother is getting away with way to much. If I would of talked to my mom like your brother talks to his mom I would of gotten my A S S BEAT and a hard slap in the face. If mom will not give you a change to talk to her about this try to talk to a good friend or some kind of counselor. You are not being treated fairly and if your brother doesn't straighten up he is headed to prison in the future. We much always respect and trust your parents no matter what. I wish you luck Sarah in this terrible matter.
A Friend.
poppy1

Answer 5

omg! i have the exact same problems as you only my older brother is 17, does what ever he wants dosent matter and the only thing i can tell you to do is stay away from him, ignor him dont get involved when he gets in trouble. i know how you feel but my brother is a mommys boy. and i always get ignored my brother is aloud to stay at a girls house over night yet im not even aloud to be alone with a boy and im 15! but good luck.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like you have a mother like mine, she puts the male above the female, you must except this as you cannot change this in her, she is set in her ways, the only thing you can do it...hold on...ok back, had to make sure i got in her in time for you to read this... but your mother favors the male sex over the female sex, which is her given right, ok, my mother is the same, i have 3 brothers and they can do NO wrong along with my HUSBAND, who is male, my mother favors males ts how they are raised, so if i were you I would turn a blind eye to your brothers doings and TRY as hard as it is not to care and do your own thing, really in the long run as you grow up you will see how her feelings are how they are and that you will do better to not concern yourself with them, as you need to just concentrate on your own things. i hope this makes sense as its so hard to put in such a little space, but i wish you well and hope the best for you, it will come soon! trust me!

Answer 7

I think that the reason he can getaway with things it's because he is a "guy",i know it sounds very unfair but it's true.Many parents see it this way,if it's a girl that did something they will be like OMG she needs PUNISHMENT!!!! but when a guy does something they just say " ahh he is a boy" if it was a girl their reaction would be totally different.
So if i were you i would ignore him, and about your mom i would keep telling her that she is not being fair and maybe one day she will listen.
Good luck :-)

Answer 8

Have you talked to your mom about it? Sounds like you brother is such a handful that she may not notice that she is neglecting you. Try being direct and adult about it, if you whine it would probably make things worse. Tell her that you want some time with her and that lately you feel like the two of you are not connecting.

Answer 9

Grin and bear it Wabby, in a few months you will be in Wellington facing new challenges.

You are too soft and kind.

Answer 10

it is trouble-free. you're undemanding to handle. You innovations her. Then she had your brother, and he wasn't an undemanding baby to enhance in any respect. It replaced into difficult to innovations-blowing him. He does not hear or exchange or he would shop forgetting, and this replaced into complicated on your mom. Your mom did an identical issues on your brother that labored with you, and have been given you to innovations, yet they did no longer paintings with him, and he does not hear. So your mom have been given pissed off at her loss of achievement along with your brother and particularly of having tougher and putting in there, particularly she threw up her arms. So now your brother is impossible, and your mom is embarrassed that your brother won't hear to her and he or she feels thoroughly powerless. you're nevertheless greater receptive, you nevertheless obey greater truthfully, and so as via fact of this she yells at you, a minimum of you hear. It drives her loopy once you ***** approximately your brother to her, via fact she is powerless and does not like being reminded of it. She is accustomed on your brother is on the incorrect music, and he or she feels that she will do no longer something to alter issues with him. that's an somewhat complicated attractiveness, and thanks to this she yells, via fact she feels in charge and pissed off and so she yells at you. She needs you to end making her understand how unfavourable your brother is, via fact she will't do something to make him greater ideal behaved. in the long-term, your brother is going to have a tough time in the international via fact he has discovered that he does not could conform and he hasn't discovered self-discipline. He for this reason is going to be embarrassing to renowned, via fact he is going to make a mistake royally. prepare your self to be very embarrassed by way of him whilst he grows up and makes unfavourable options and has unfavourable friends. You on the different hand, in case you focus on your study, are going to do particularly properly in life. Pity your brother. he's going to have a tough time in life. purely talk doing properly at college and in college and you will pass places. no longer something would properly be accomplished on your brother except he gets away out of your demoralized mom and is going off to boarding college and gets some discipline NOW.