Me and my boyfriend and I had been together for 8 months and ended breaking up on bad terms, but as time goes by we both realized how much in love we are and got back together, secretly of course because my parents would never understand. Well he got put in jail (for something stupid, nothing like killing nobody or anything, he really is a great guy, he just made a stupid decision) and I've been secretly going up there and have been bringing his child up there with me (who I love with all my heart) to see him. He'll be getting out soon and he wants us to live together and i think he's gonna ask me to marry him, which is great!! only one problem, I'm living with my parents, im 20 by the way, and they are the most controlling people, like crazy controlling, and I dont know how to break it to them that I'm moving out to live with him, I feel like if i do they are gonna like hold me down so i cant go. I'm seriously in love with this man, how do i break it to my parents?
2007-11-03 15:58:05 · 10 answers · asked by *Jace's Mommy* 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we broke up after 8months of being together but when we got back together we had been together 2 years before he got put in jail, he doesnt have a "track record" for irresponsibility, he had a job and a house before he got put in jail.
2007-11-03 16:18:08 · update #1
Look, I appreciate all the people out there trying to help btu I want advice on how to break to my parents and not on how i should dump him. I want to be with him, move in with him, and marry him, my mind is made up, I j/ wanted advice how to tell my parents this without causing too many problems.
2007-11-03 16:29:50 · update #2
I agree with everyone who has answered--to a certain extent. I too myself have ran off and married a man who has made mistakes in the past, has an 8 year old son by a past relationship but the man who he is now is just awesome. So as far as you being confused and allowing your feelings to take control of you is ok. At the same time it is best to obey and listen to your parents who may seem controlling to you. They more than likely want what is best for you. You are an adult as well and if you feel it is best for you to support your boyfriend who is in jail with a child then I say go for it. In life we learn from our mistakes and at times the decisions we make tend to come out to be for the best.
I took a chance by putting my trust and faith into God and no matter what whether a relationship has ended, I messed up in school or whatever the case may be, I knew that I was to have experienced that moment and to learn from it and move on. So live your life with no regrets and learn from this.
If your man is in jail now but have the power, strength and courage to do better, provide for his child and most importantly for you, continue to support him at this crucial time, care for his child and if it does not work out in the end--learn from it and move on. Life goes on and you will find the one who is really for you and loves you unconditionally even if your parents do not like them!
By the way, who cares what other people think if it would be "stupid" to still date him and take care of his child. Only God knows the true outcome so keep living!
2007-11-03 16:19:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you are seriously in love with this man. Seems like you are making all kinds of excuses for him... "he is in jail, but he really is a great guy. Put in jail for something stupid, nothing like killing nobody or anything." If you were reading this about someone else, what would you think?
They say love is blind.... so you better take your time with this. Do not fall into a trap that you may have a problem with later on. Think of it this way.... your parents love you unconditionally... they may be seeing something that you obviously cannot see right now, as you are head over heals, for whatever reasons. Please don't jump into anything. When you jump blindly into something like this you tend to live to regret it.
If he is indeed a great guy, he will wait for you to be ready. No pressure. Love always waits. Waiting makes it even more worth it. You need to really get to know this guy. 8 months is NOT enough time. Right now you are in infatuation mode. Remember why you broke up the first time. What has changed to make things better between you two. I don't see it. Seems like it's gotten worse (jail)
2007-11-03 23:09:12 · answer #2 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are 20 years old dear. You are at the age when you need to make some adult decisions. To tell you the truth I am not sure how happy I would be that my daughter was wanting nothing more than to run off and marry some guy straight out of the pen that hasn't had a chance to prove his worth. When he gets out he is talking marriage. But is he talking Job? Education? And if he is talking... what is his track record. Is he a big talker or is he likely to do something about it. I know that you love him. But if he loves you that much in return... Shouldn't he be willing to try and at least prove his worth to not just your family but to you as well?
Are you not worth at least that? It is only asking for a few more months after all. Within 3 months he can get a job. A place to stay etc. and have something to show how committed he is to being a man.
Think it over...
~Tyed~
2007-11-03 23:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by owltyedup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in with him, until he is committed to you in marriage.
A wise child takes counsel from their parents even if they are 20 years old. Your parents have been alive a lot longer than you, and have a great deal more experience in life. I say you should listen to them, but most likely you won't and you will end up regretting it. You will come back later to say, you wish you would have listened to them. They love you and want the best for you.
I know there are a lot of people who agree with me on this one.
2007-11-03 23:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are twenty, so unfortunately, if you want to make incredibly stupid decisions it is totally up to you. Just get ready for the fight with your parents, cause I am sure it is coming. Just remember, (although I am sure I am wasting keystrokes here) if a man makes stupid decisions, he will probably continue to do so. Also keep in mind that love is grand, but you can't sleep in it, wear it, or eat it. Good luck, it sounds like you are gonna need it. (That is true love, taking your boyfriends daughter to the jail so she can visit her Dad!)
Good grief........
2007-11-03 23:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if yo like him so much ask your parents if you can marry him if the say no then tell them that,if you tell me to marry someone else i won't let me marry him or i don't get married with anyone or here is a another choice you can secretly go and get married with him you might not like this choice but if you really want you would have to do one of these. or maybe just say no to your boyfriend that would be really hard to say but it just depends on your parents and if his parent agree plus its not that he has gone to jail its just what is inside him how nice he is but i do hope your parents say yes. good luck!
2007-11-03 23:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Savanna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't like him for a reason. Listen to them before its too late. How many other stupid decisions has he made.
before its too late, end the relationship or you will also have made a stupid decision. you are too young to be with someone who already has a child and is in jail!
2007-11-03 23:05:37 · answer #7 · answered by Beatrice C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not wanting your daughter, who is only 20, to be with someone who gets locked away and has a child doesn't sound like controlling...it sounds like common sense. Sorry to be so blunt, but you should really get some.
2007-11-03 23:06:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just go and then after you've moved in with him, tell your parents. Controlling parents are that way because they're afraid of losing you, tell 'em it's your life and if they don't want to be in it. It's their lose. You're an adult, you don't need them as much as they need you.
2007-11-03 23:02:40 · answer #9 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i married a guy my fam. hated/or hates who knows....we'll i didn't ask permission...i just told them what i was doing and did not hear a word they say...i moved on.....they seem okay now....
2007-11-03 23:32:46 · answer #10 · answered by ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋