Husband causing me to get Depression?

Question

My husband is 40 going on 20. He MUST go out EVERY night of the week! No joke. Every single night he has to be the life of every party everywhere in town. He has his places where all the drunks know him. He drags in drunk every night between 11pm(on a good night) and either 3am or never comes home from wherever he is. We have kids that I sit home with every night. He does nothing for them. I take care of, feed, diaper, play with and teach and put to bed the kids every night alone. He has a whole other life I am no part of. I sit home and he lives it up every night! I think he might be on drugs. No one can stay up all night every night unless you take something. Anyways I am getting angry and depressed more and more each day. I can't stand him talking about all these people he knows and how much they like him and gag gag gag...yeah while your wife and kids sit home like prisoners do the people know that about you? I cry and feel lonely every day...what should I do? See a Dr or leave?

Answer 1

Sound like to me your husband need to grow up and take on some of the parental responsibility. If he doesn't change soon and your depression getting worse I recommend you to leave him.
He taking you for granted.

Answer 2

You should really be asking yourself is this worth all the problems in your very own life? It's difficult to understand this problem that your hunsband has. You know yourself that this is a miserable enduring pain and isolation that you are experiencing. You have kids and they come first, but this is an everyday routine of responsiblity for you. Just keep in mind that as human beings we are capable of making a change if we concetrate in the act of making it happen. You can make that step. If your husband cannot make this change with you and the kids I suggest you to leave. As a wife and a mother, it is never an easy role and your husband should show that he cares, but instead of being there he forgets about the responsibility and how you feel. If you want a better life this is the best solution and don't even tell him either. Let him realize that without his family ,his friends out on the streets are not really his friends. Let him discover it and then he'll understand how much you really gave up for the family to stick together.

Answer 3

You should really think about the life you and the kids have. That is an awful example he is giving the kids. It looks like he does not even care about them or you. Why would you want to stay with someone like him. He is not making you happy. The best thing to do is to leave, go to a place where you and the kids could be safe. Don't tell him anything, just leave. This could be a very good reason for him, and could make him look for help with his alcohol problemm, or drug proble. If later on hi gets his life back into normal, then maybe you could take him back. That would be up to you. But think about a better life for you and the kids... You deserve much better..

Answer 4

For your safeguard pass right down to a hospital (booklet an appointment or pass to a stroll-in hospital) and get validated, simply in case. It will positioned your brain comfortable. It is your alternative approximately how you can confront him however it's predominant due to the fact that you can not maintain on with the fear that he could also be dozing with different females. Masturbation may be very ordinary for guys, despite the fact that they on the whole take a look at to disclaim it - however undoubtedly taking it to the following stage of probably traveling escort is an additional topic thoroughly. You have to make it transparent that it isn't ok and may not be tolerated. That is disrespectful to you and so much might do not forget that to be dishonest. At this level, you have no idea he has for one hundred%. Hopefully he's going to be sincere if you happen to speak to him approximately it, however it is rough to inform if he's going to be. Maybe couple counselling or speaking to get the communique again for your courting? Why does he consider the have to do what he does?

Answer 5

Well, I would start with some counseling for yourself. Sounds like hubby may have a substance problem. You can also start by visiting an Al-Anon group (you can look up the nearest one to you on line at Alanon.com) It is free and it is a group that helps you deal with the issue yourself. Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel about this. I can only imagine that this also takes a toll on your finances as partying every night can get costly. At this point, I feel you need to start working on yourself. Even if leaving him is what you want to do, it will take some counseling to give you the strength to do what you have to do confidently. You don't want to fall back into a pattern once he realizes you mean business.

I did it, gave my husband more chances than needed. Always thinking about him. The more chances I gave him, the worse it got. You have to realize that when they are intoxicated, they do not make the best of choices, giving room to many things happening without your knowing. You have to protect yourself. You have children to think about and if you;re still changing diapers, they are young ones.

Once you build your self-esteem and confidence, you will start making wise decisions for yourself, and not depend on him so much. I know! I am now separated from my husband, waiting to file for divorce. I am very happy and have met an extremely great guy who is making me happy and doesn't drink or do drugs. He makes me feel good, not depressed. So think about what you really want for yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 6

That is a question only you can answer. Can you live with him being gone and drunk all the time and you handling everything. At lease he is not at home drunk that could be a plus unless he comes home and starts crap with you. Are you willing to stay in a marriage that you are miserable in for the sake of your kids? And is this healthy for your children? No one can tell you whether or not you need to leave it is up to you. I can tell you from experience that medicine does help cause I was on it the last 5 years of my marriage until I wised up and found out I wasn't the one who needed Zoloft and Valium, he was. If you decide to leave him don't be afraid to ask family member or friend for help im sure you will need it and the support as well good luck to you

Answer 7

i would try and be seperate for a little maybe being alone and coming home to an empt house with give him a little reality check and plus his age has to check up with him sooner or later especailly if hes always drunk its not like hes in good heath. but after a while if hes still living the night life and leaving you alone then i'd divore him i know its hard but its better then being married to a 40 year old kid. and plus you pratically take care of your kids by yourself anyways. good luck

Answer 8

You need to see a doctor to help you get over your depression and then you need to pack his stuff, change your locks and let him find his things on the porch when he comes home at 3am.

Nobody should be someone's doormat and that is the way he is treating you. He wants the freedom of a single life and the comfort of the little woman at home doing his laundry and caring for his children.

You get rid of him and make a life for yourself and your children and maybe you will find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be love.

Good Luck

Answer 9

Your husband has a drinking problem, which means so do you. Try Al-anon for support. They'll help you come to terms with YOUR feelings, which are absolutely normal for your experiences.

I am NOT saying he will stop drinking or that you'll be able to make him stop drinking. The only known cure for addictions is consequences. Until he has had enough he will not stop. It's up to you to decide if you want to stay in the marriage because I promise you there is absolutely nothing you can do to get him to stop. Which brings me to another point, never threaten anything you won't do. Like leaving, for example, if you say you are going to leave, do it. Otherwise, find a way to channel your energies so his drinking doesn't affect your life.

Good luck.

Peace.

Answer 10

Hi...it is horrible that you are going through this, however, I do believe we teach people how to treat us. You should have NEVER accepted this type of behavior, not for even one day. You are really already divorced, this is no marriage. I know it is hard for someone to leave their spouse especially if there are children involved, but if you have the financial means it is imperative you leave if this cannot be resolved. I am not an advocate of divorce, but if your husband will not get help then you really have no other choice. Find a church, someone to help you. God Bless!!

Answer 11

You know people tend to forget this the only life we get, only one chance to change our bad habits and make the most out of it. You have to be a woman and do whats best for you, your family and your hubby. Try going out with him as a family, maybe take a trip together, maybe explain to him how he is your everything and you would like him to spend some quality time at home with you and the kids. When a husband and wife become distant no matter how small or large it may seem at the time, that's usually a sign of bigger issues within that relationship. If you truly love him and he loves you he will understand how you feel.