2007-11-03 13:50:04 · 21 answers · asked by Drifter 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he lies to make u look like the bad guy to justify whatever he is doing. its called projection, instead of taking responsibility for what he dies he turns it all on u, so his family will think he is justified in whatever it is he is doing.
2007-11-03 14:19:32 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is doing this now, he may move on to trying to make you look like the bad guy with counselors, the preachers, his friends, coworkers, strangers, and acquaintances.
I try not to have any thing to do with the people my husband has tricked and fooled. Maybe you should take that approach too. If I were so evil, why is he still around me?
Also act normal and don't play into his games when his family is around, because hopefully one day they will realize that your husband is capable of lying to them about you and making you look bad. With mine, his family knew he lied, knew he was mental, and yet seemed to take his side anyway (IMO), go figure. He actually had people convinced, including an anger management counselor, that he had a legitimate excuse to abuse me, and he convinced me that when he tried to kill me (imo) that I made him do that too! It's only going to get worse before it gets better. He is currently on mental pills and has not laid another hand on me. If your husband is going to treat you this way, you need to seek counseling to see what is best for you. And if you have any children in the mix, what is best for them. Don't see the same counselor as him and get him evaluated. Sometimes people who "lie" have something going on inside (mentally) where they have a different and altered perception than what is really going on or they believe they are right to do some of the things they do and lie about it to cover their assets, like bipolars and schizophrenics, and schizoaffectives or a combo. Sometimes they are pathological liars, cheaters, and/or narcissistic psychopaths. Just do a google on all these and go to irene's catbox. If it gets worse than what you have mentioned here or already is, you can go to the domestic abuse shelter. If his family found that out, they'd either a) think you are making things up to make him look bad and thus disrespecting and slandering him (I've had a preacher say I was disrespecting and slandering mine and I was the one to have a restraining order on him for threatening me!) b) start to see the light about him. I think they'd go for option a, after all they don't think their precious boy can do any wrong, do they. And in your husband's eyes, you are the bad guy making him do the things he does, even when a rational and logical person would think that a grown man is capable of making his own decisions not to do wrong by his wife and put her down like this and should be able to be responsible as head of the house. I hope that you find the right answer that is right for you.
2007-11-03 14:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well without knowing all the details but just what you have said here I would say no.. First wait till your home and discuss with him that you dont' want him ever to make you look bad in front of his family. Just as you wouldnt to his family or out in public there is a time and place for everything.
two wrong don't make a right. if he's doing that out in public thats a big no no it also makes him look bad too. but do tell him when your home in private how he made you feel stupid or silly or degraded what ever it is your feeling. and explain it to him.
2007-11-03 16:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do love this man / If yes well divorce is the last soluton Your husband has such a low selfesteem that why his doing this Seek the help of a matrimonial counseler if your marriage is important to you Of course
2007-11-03 13:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is all that you have to tell me then no.
You agreed to "for better or for worse" with this man. So far your version of "for worse" dose not sound so bad when compared to the other questions about divorce on here.
Good luck.
2007-11-03 13:58:51 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If 'divorce' is the first thing that comes to your mind before even trying to work this out with him, then you have more problems than just this one my friend.
2007-11-03 14:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there must be more than that, getting divorce is not as easy as it sounds.
you might wanna talk to him about how you feel, but if he still does it and you cant take it anymore, yeah! you should get divorced.
2007-11-03 14:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kristine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it has been going on for years yes. If it just happened once see if you can work it out or get marriage counseling.
2007-11-03 13:57:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
divorce is so quick to be used anymore... have ya tried counseling, or communicating (if it isnt working with him, try talking with his family about it) then go from there
2007-11-03 14:05:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl we have somthing in common , my husband does the same thing and you know why because he has a weak personality and he is to weak to stand for himself so he just blame every thing on me and he stands behind me, but just deal with it and pretend that it does not bother you he will stop , good luck hunn
2007-11-03 13:56:54 · answer #10 · answered by Yahoo User 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋