My bf and I broke up 2 weeks ago. it was mutual. he's scared to be in a serious relationship bc he's recently gone through a divorce. he said he wanted to take a step back and I said I couldn't do that. he kept asking if i was going to leave and never call again and i said i didn't know. it's been 2 weeks and i want to contact him...Whats the first step I should take?
i should add that i did send him a letter after we broke up basically stating that we needed time and space to think about what we really wanted...should i still contact him?
2007-11-03 13:47:43 · 10 answers · asked by Jax 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well in this particular case yes its okay to contact him. Remember above he said he kept asking if your going to leave him. He's probably already been through that with his wife and can't stand to have another one do it again to him t his way.
If you truely care for him and mean it in your heart then call him just say hi bob i was just checking in with you its been a few week i know we both said we needed some air . But i wanted you to know i was thinking of you and miss you. Hows things going for you.... and let him talk from there.
If you dont' really want to get back with him then dont' do this. this would just hurt his heart more after all he's been through so dont' play silly games here. and also make sure you can live with not m oving so fast as that was one of the problems you both had and a breakup over it. so don't go back pressing him to do something he's not ready for.
2007-11-03 16:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, that's funny - I just asked a similar question today on Yahoo Answers too.
I'm a guy who is (trying to) see this girl, so this is a reverse situation, but the answers I got were, Yes, you should make contact again, but just to see if he is ok, let him know you are thinking about him and that you care enough to make contact again.
There shouldn't be any pressure for a dating. The time to contact after the breakup (or "time out" or whatever this is called) seems to vary between 1week to 1month (about the time that girls seem to need to recover from a breakup).
On the other hand, someone said it might be a polite rejection. But, I feel unless you know for sure, you should still make contact to find out once and for all.
Anyway, this is all very confusing to me too. Good luck to you.
2007-11-03 14:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like things have been left up in the air and you need to know where you stand. First, decide how you feel about him and what you want from him. Then go ahead and call or send him another letter and this time tell him how you really feel. Then be prepared to have your heart broken.
2007-11-03 14:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by raindrop221 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt in two weeks he's changed his mind about a serious relationship. If you still aren't willing to take a step back then do what's best for you and stay away. Move on to someone who is ready. If he has changed his mind he'd more then likely try to contact you to talk about things.
2007-11-03 13:52:51 · answer #4 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him. After a divorce, he is going to need to spend some serious time by himself to heal.
When he does call you, it will likely be because you have become a back-up plan.,
You are beautiful and worth so much more than he can give you for the foreseeable future.
Good luck.
2007-11-03 13:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him and let him know you still care-however, it sounds like your bf needs some space, especially being a divorcee-please respect that- if it meant to be he will come around to see you to belong together- if not, meet someone new and find love
2007-11-03 13:54:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't call him. if he wanted to talk to you, if anything has changed, he would call. i personally don't buy the whole "i'm afraid" thing..never have and probably never will. if he was afraid he shouldn't have started dating seriously at all. give him his space and move on as if he'll never call. hope for the best and expect the worst.
2007-11-03 14:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A quick phone call just asking him how he is should be okay. Just don't go getting all mushy cause it doesn't sound like he's ready for that.
2007-11-03 14:02:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard question! Maybe just send him a email or two...if he response..then go from there! It is good that he is not jumping into anything and making the same mistake! good luck!
2007-11-03 15:36:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. Contacting him is just giving him more power. It's telling him that you have no other options and I know you do. Go out and have fun. Life is toooooooo short!!!!:)
2007-11-03 14:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by cocolatecafe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋