My sister was married a year ago this pass September and at first her husband was ok but then he decided to tell her after there wedding he was fired from work and then in January she found out that she was pregnant and then he decides to tell her a couple mounths after she was pregnant that he does crack and was doing it when the baby was conceived I am so worried for her he cannot keep a job gets fired every couple mounths please help me to help her.
2007-11-03 12:11:06 · 14 answers · asked by Danielle L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
now is not the time to point fingers. He may not be your cup of tea but your sister needs support right now . she doesnt' need to hear from her older sister what a mistake she's made or what a bum she's married to..
Also they sound young. Perhaps this man will pull up his boots and get more serious. everyone can lose a job . but if he's trying to better himself thats something to be proud of. and he did the right thing telling his wife about his crack. for the sake of the baby and the managram and tests that will come to make sure it is healthy.
If he was imature or didn't give a crap for his family he would have left that out so don't be to harsh on him. Hopefully he will see the seriousness of this and get off the drugs now.
People have known to quit give him a chance and support him and your sister.
He could have come from a unloving family who always put him down also so by you following suit ready to kick him to the curb won't help.. But suprisingly be happy if he saw you congratulate him on something positive.
Build the person here not tear him down would be my answer to this.
2007-11-03 16:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has to be the one that realizes that he is a loser and until she does there is not a lot that you can do. If you are close, the day will come when she will ask for advice so have all the information you can get from places like al-anon. If she like to read at all, down load as a man thinketjh and give her that to read if you think she has any problems with her self esteem - many who get into a relationship like this do. If you can figure out when he gets his crack or perhaps where, you may be able to let the police know without giving your name so that your sister doesn't suspect that you did that, especially if you have any reason to think he is selling it as well as using.
other than that, you can only wait for her to need support and I am sure that she will, especially after the baby is born.
2007-11-03 12:48:43 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find giving examples of other friends works. All you need to do is add a few things her husband is doing that are wrong.
I talk about how I just found out something about a friend and I talk about the results from them staying with them. If you don't know of anyone look someone up on line and use them as an example.
If nothing works you just have to pray for her.
Good luck!
2007-11-03 12:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by 2gd2b4rl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something you are not your sisters keeper and she has to learn by her won mistakes that's how we all learn if you tell her or give her advice than you will only cause trouble between you and your sister stay on the side line and be there when she needs you. Your sister got pregnant and her husband does crack this is the scary part the baby not your sister. I still say this is your sisters decision not yours.
best of luck
2007-11-03 12:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get her in touch w/Alanon or some other support group-sounds like she's got an addict on her hands. This is a really ugly situation, the most and best thing you can do for her is be supportive and available. She won't change anything until she decides she's had enough.
2007-11-03 12:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by Laura G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll have to figure that out on her own. There's nothing u can do. Because if she hasn't realized it yet, the more u and others try to tell her what a loser her baby's father is...u'll just push her away from u, and closer to him. Just pray that she'll come to her senses. OR maybe when the baby's born and growing up she'll relize it and do something about it. Who knows?
2007-11-03 12:40:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She won't leave until SHE sees him as a loser. If she has all the information that you do and still hasn't left, you are just going to have to stick it out and wait until she needs rescuing. Don't make her choose between you and her husband - she'll choose him.
2007-11-03 12:20:35 · answer #7 · answered by banana6464 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not a whole lot you can do if she doesn't leave him. She has to make the decision for herself. Hopefully she will open her eyes before the baby is born.
2007-11-03 12:19:49 · answer #8 · answered by April First 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call Narcotics Anonymous and ask them to direct you to the nearest Co-dependent meetings. It is free and they have the best help.
2007-11-03 17:41:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact Al-alnon, for her, let her know help is avaible, and let the law know he's a junkie, that will change alot of things!!
2007-11-03 15:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋