Can someone read this for me? Anyone?

Question

It's long. I'll tell you that right now. Well, it's kind of long--depending on how fast you read.

It's the new novel I'm working on and I wanted to see what some people thought. I'd really like it if someone read it and told me what they thought of it.

It's in it's rough draft form, but not like so rough it's incomprehensible. There might be minor grammer mistakes, but for the most part not that many. I'm still not done with all of the first chapter. But there are two works.

The prologue, and you'll see it and the first chapter. You can read both or just one--it doesn't matter which one. Just tell me what you think.

I'm new at this writing thing, so I have not many ideas on how it all works. I've never written prior to all of this, but this isn't my first "novel". I really want to finish this one though, so I need as much motivation as I can get.

Thanks. Ten Points to the most thorough review.

Here's where you need to go: http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/user_id/truthfully

Answer 1

Hi! I just read your prologue and I scanned the first chapter and, wow, your writhing is really really good! Better than I could ever do. I felt like, unlike lots of stories, even published ones, it didn't go into excessive detail, but told you all you needed to know at the time, which I personally think is the best way to start because it gets the reader easily interested. The actual dialog and text made it feel very real, in a good way and it was very believable. I defiantly read the 1st chapter more thoroughly later, it was just kinda long.

I'm not really in any position to tell you how to improve it, but I will say that I guess it does need a bit of neatening up in terms of grammar/spelling (although I can't actually remember anything specific that was wrong), and maybe a few more really descriptive words? Although I don't know where you're taking this, I still worry that it might be a bit clichéd, cause I felt like I read it before a couple of times, and I might not be too surprised by what happens next. Also I didn't really see any unique character in Tatum, but maybe she's going to grwo or something... dunno.

Anyways, this is really good - you have got the skills to be a really good writer, and if you finish this, I can tell you will improve each chapter (which I want to read!)
Good luck.

Answer 2

Wow, I haven't been hooked into a book like that in a long time! Finish the book and I'll buy it in a heartbeat! I read the prolouge and the first chapter and they're both excelent! I would love to be more specific, but I can't really say what it is that is so great! My english teachers always say that the begining is the most important part since thats when you get readers to keep reading!

Answer 3

I heard approximately anything like that. But I feel the condominium had exits. And now not handiest staircases that after to nowhere however doorways that did not open or did not lead wherein you inspiration they might. Even one door at the two or three tale that used to be a drop off too the backyard. I feel it used to be on a television exhibit however I do not don't forget greater than that. Maybe when you googled haunted residences with a few others main points you might uncover it. Sorry I'm now not so much support

Answer 4

well i read part of the prolouge and the whole 1st chapter [what was there] and i REALLY liked it, you've got a great talent, when you get more up send me an email with a link to it!

[e-mail]

thanks!!!

Answer 5

It's so good.

Theres alot of detail and depth to it.

Keep up the good work.

the titles really suit the prologue and story.