OMFG.......what was i supposed to say to them...they asked...i gave them an honest answer?

Question

okei....so 2 day...my bf had dinner with my family and me. so everything was going well untill my dad decided he wanted to ask him some questions...only this time they were more personal than the last round of questions. below are the questions...my bf's answer is under the question
1) do u do any kind of drugs?(ok question)
no
2)have you had any kind of criminal history(ok question)
no
3)do you mistreat my daughter?(good question)
no

okei..so these were the questions i was askd..my answer is below question
1) are you still a virgin(NOT A GOOD QUESTION)
..............no

after that they kicked my bf out.....but what were they expexting?...we have been together for 2 years and they should have known it would happen eventually, its not like i had sex with him right away...we JUST started having sex..and they were mad that he wasnt a virgin when we had sex...and now they are saying that he pressured me into it...AND HE DIDNT....what was i supposed to do....lie?

also..i dont think this was a fair question to ask EITHER of us....do you think it was right of him to ask..then get mad?

im 14 and he just turned 17 like erlier this week, but that never mattered to them before...they NEVER EVER EVEEEERRRR said anyhting to me about his age....why get mad now?

to the 8th answer: he was 14 when we got together, he is 2 1/2 years older than me,not 3 years older

Answer 1

Honestly... I would react that way too... and I would probably also cry... As a parent you don't want your babies to be having sex! Even tho you are 14 years old you are STILL your parents "baby" and that isn't meant in a bad way.

Let it blow over a bit and then try to talk to them. Explain to them that you are growing up and sex is going to be a part of your life. First, before anything else, ask them to just LISTEN. Tell them that he was the only person you have been with (info from one of your previous questions), it was a two sided decision--he didn't pressure you, also let them know that you know all about protection, diseases, and how to prevent them. Also, if you are his first, that is a plus in your parents eyes.

Don't expect them to be open to the idea of their daughter having sex, you really have to understand that it is hard for a parent to "let go" of their children... really hard. They will eventually accept it, but for right now the air will be pretty tense! Don't get mad at them okay? They are just worried about you, that is all... when you don't know what to do sometimes you do the wrong thing so they may yell at you and your boyfriend and make rash decisions like telling you to stay away from him and things like that... they don't realize those kind of reactions push you away from them... but to them it is the best thing to do because they don't know what else there is to do.

Give it time, thats all I can say. You are growing into a woman... and yeah, 14 may be too young for sex in a relationship... but that isn't always the case. Educate yourself--the more informed you are the better you will be and the better your parents will feel (and they will come around faster knowing that you are responsible and make good decisions :)

Answer 2

Because the severity of the fact that their daughter's boyfriend isn't a virgin, must mean that their daughter is no longer a virgin and at 14, they probably thought they wouldn't have to deal with this for a few more years. If they had known you were sexual active before, they probably would have put an end to the relationship sooner.

By the way, just because you have been together for two years doesn't mean anything has to happen. Many YOUNG people (like YOU are) date without having sex, they probably thought you weren't sexual active, and being confronted by the 17 year old boy who is sleeping with their 14 year old baby girl just hit too close to home.

Give your parents the benefit of the doubt, they actually cared enough about it to do something.

Answer 3

Well in all fairness to your parents, you were 12 when you both started dating, too young to date, second if you started having sex the first year then he was wrong from even allowing himself to have sex with a child. He knew better but he used the brain in his boxers to get the best of him. I feel your parents feel like that. I would not tell you that it's over but if he continues to have sex with you then he is open to criminal charges since he is 17 and your only 14. I would wait until your over 16 to continue a sexual relationship with him. Unless of course you want him jailed.

Answer 4

ok, well im 16.
and i think it was rite of him to get mad. i know ur gonna disagree but 14 is too young to have sex, it doesnt matter how long u have been togther, he should have known better then to have sex with u rite now.

and if u guys r still 2gether when he turns 18 and ur having sex, then ur parents can charge him with statatory rape even though u decided to do it.

im sry, but i agree with ur dad. its good that u told the truth, but u cant expect him not to b mad when he finds out his 14 year old daughter has lost her innocence....

an addition to u being 14, wut would u do if u got pregnant, be a 15 year old mom, u think he would b willing to pay for diapers, food, medical bills, clothin, housing, cribs, bottles and everything else u would need.

and u said he wasnt a virgin b4 u guys had sex, wut if he contracted a disease? u wouldnt even know it, cuz i bet u guys didnt go and get checked out b4 u had sex did u? u know teenage sex increases ur chances of getting cervical cancer too rite. see i bet u didnt think bout all this b4 u had sex, that is y being 14 is too young to have sex!!!!

Answer 5

Right they freaked out because it is illegal. He is over 16 and you have to be 16 to GIVE CONSENT (legally) to sexual intercourse.

Since you agreed to it, because you are underage for sex he has just committed statutory(spelling?) rape and he could go to jail.

That is why your parents are freaking out.

And don't say im old cos i am 14 and ive jus learned this in school..so i know what i'm talking about.

Your parents could easily go to the cops right now & report him. In fact, there's nothing stopping them.
I think they were trying to give you a chance but they hoped you wouldn't be stupid and lose your virginity, which you have and now they are probably really angry with you.

Answer 6

How old are the both of you?

Under 18?

Your virginity is his concern whether you want it to be or not.

There really isn't anything you can do now, your parents know that you've had sex and you can't take that back. Don't whine and complain because they'll think you're immature and not ready for sex, which it sounds like you are not!!

It doesn't matter how long you've been together, I'm 17 and have been with my boyfriend nearly 3 years, we havn't had sex.

Be mature if you want your parents respect, you'll have to earn it back and so will he.

Answer 7

I agree with your parents and would not be happy with the fact. However, you told the truth and that counts for something. Dinner is not the proper place to ask those questions, after dinner sitting around is much better.

Answer 8

That is wrong of your dad to ask that at dinner. I would hurt my boyfriend if he ever did not to our daughter. I thought honesty was the best policy. I do not know what to say.

Answer 9

Because I Gave You the Best Answer...

Answer 10

wow....that depends how old are you?
i mean after two years they should have suspected that.I think they overreacted you should talk to them about it.
lying would have been wrong but at least this wouldn't have happened. they should respect you for being so honest.