What are your thoughts on Domestic Discipline?

Question

I have written answers before on a Domestic discipline relationship...as I will cut and past one of my answers to explain why I am in favor of it. READ IT BEFORE ANSWERING!!

I believe in Domestic Discipline completely. It's not right for every couple, however I believe there are plenty of couples that it couple work and would be a great idea for! Spanking in a relationship can help with many different things, i believe morals have gone to hell in this country! Divorce rate is so damn high. I believe that if BOTH parties know that there are consequences to their actions that they will think twice before doing something. Everyone is human and will make mistakes. That is OK. Every relationship has disagreements as well. However, there are times that they get out of hand and there are hurt feelings and perhaps built up resentment. That isn't healthy for a relationship and it can prevent it from succeeding. I believe it can be very therapeutic to have real consequences for your actions,

more then going against your promise to each other of being committed. Not everything is divorce material, not every mistake isn't reconcilable, however even if you talk things out or a fight is done and over with, often times it Kept buried inside and will come out again and hurt the relationship once again and a cycle is born that ends up leading to divorce. What a spanking can do is....relieve guilt feelings, you get the feeling of "paying your dues" and the most important FORGIVENESS!! Real forgiveness the type that isn't brought up again! Its a non issue for good! That makes for a much happier relationship in my book!
Remember, I didn't say it was for everyone...its not. I also think it is something that has to be talked through thoroughly and agreed upon! Just because were adults doesn't mean we are better then children, children are in a learning state so spanking should be kept to a min. However adults know better and should do better. If they don't they should be punished

What are your thoughts on my point of view? Please do not degrade me and say it is abuse whe it is not. Abuse is only something that is demeaning and have no other positive effects besides letting anger out. It's done out of ANGER not out of LOVE!! Domestic Disipline spankings are done while Cool, Calm, and Collectively...and when both parties understand why its nessesary..and more or less agree to it.

I am NOT advocating Domestic abuse...as I have been in that kind of relationship and it is terrible. I DO NOT agree with BEATING anyone. Just like a parent, just because you give your child a spanking doesn't mean you are abusing them...just because you swat their butt doesn't mean you beat the daylights out of them or it does anything psychologically damaging! It's the same in this type of relationship! You agree what is acceptable and what is NOT and if any time they pass the line of what is acceptable THEN it becomes abuse then you can handle that in a way you see fit! Or in other words you can leave then!!

Thank you for answering my question with respect--I would have a talk first but would not allow him to touchme even once if it was not agreed apun first that it is a TWO way street.

Answer 1

If I did something to piss my wife off, her not talking to me or being mad at me is punishment enough. If we agreed that I needed a spanking, then she would have to understand that the arguement is over and make-up sex was in order immediately following the spanking.

What you are advocating is silly. One adult spanking another adult is not punishment, but foreplay. Some people would enjoy the spanking and thusly "be naughty" for the benefit of getting spanked. What works for children does not always work for adults (or teens for that matter).

Answer 2

Your coming from a position where one person is Dominant and the other is submissive. This type of relationship can be fun, but what you speak about is very one sided. I do not imagine that you would spank your husband unless he is the more submissive of you two. Or visa versa.

I think these types of relationships can work for a very short time but there are no studies or proof it can go the miles, Like a 50 year marriage.

Friends of mine do this, they felt it was the right thing to do. It was so very one sided

So before you decide this is for you, have a discussion that the person who wants this so badly is willing to have this done

I really doubt it will work sorry. Might be fun and games for a year or two but things build up and those issues will appear.

Barbara

Answer 3

While I believe that domestic discipline relationships can work for some people, and I have practiced these sort of relationships with regularity, I think that expecting for it to work both ways is a bit of a stretch. For disciplinary relationships to work, then the disciplining party needs to have a level of authority over the person being disciplined. While I've seen several switch (person who both spanks and is spanked) couples that spank each other, it is done for sexual, playful or even therapeutic reasons. I have never seen a switch couple that used spanking for discipline. Often, the one being spanked won't have enough respect for the other person to allow themselves to be spanked if it's by someone that they view as an equal.

I knew one such married couple that were switches, but that rarely if ever played with each other. They simply couldn't view the other person as a partner for spanking play. At the time, I was with a switch that I spanked, but that had a strong Dominant streak in her which eventually pulled us apart. (No, she didn't spank me, and no one ever will.) We were approached by this other couple, who were interested in us disciplining them. I disciplined the wife, and my significant other disciplined the husband. This worked well, as they each respected us to perform this duty.

In any disciplinary relationship, one person has to have that authority to decide what is in the other person's best interests, which might not always be something the other person agrees on. I've had success with several women, and it only worked because they respected the power that they gave me over them. They didn't ask to have that same power in return.

If you want discipline in your life, then I would suggest finding a person that you think of as mature and wise enough to take control of you. If you see this person as less than a disciplinarian, then no amount of spanking will change anything about your behavior.

Answer 4

I am very much in favor of DD if there is a sincere general agreement on it and if the guilty part in a dispute agrees to being guilty and agrees to being spanked. Under these conditions, a spanking can indeed have a cathartic effect and bring people back together. I also think that DD should ideally be mutual, not one-sided. However - these conditions are difficult to meet... so if you are looking for the right partner for such a relationship... best of luck!

Answer 5

I am one of those people that this sort of situation would NOT work for. Past a certain age spanking is ineffective as a teaching and disciplinary technique. I feel that if a couple has to resort to this behavior to correct marital strife then it is a step back NOT a step forward.

Answer 6

I would love a DD relationship, as long as it was with a man I trusted and respected completely.

And to the person who said it was domestic abuse - it is the exact opposite, it is CONSENSUAL and does not cause long-term damage (as constant arguements can as well as abuse). Abuse is a lack of control, DD is being in control.

Answer 7

Sounds like you are advocating domestic violence, rather than domestic discipline.

To use spanking as a discipline is just wrong to me. If you do something really bad, what is next? punching you in the face, kicking you.

Answer 8

Spare the rod, spoil the husband!
Strict Gram

Answer 9

There are some things married people should not do, and punishing each other physically is one of those things.

Answer 10

I belive that if YOU want to make yourself totally submissive and allow someone else to be all powerful over YOUR life you go right ahead. I have more self respect, more self esteem, more values and more morals than that though. I will continue to live MY life MY way.