Women: What would you do if your husband hit you?

Question

Kat: I would first and foremost think about my kids, make sure they don't find out and their perception of their dad won't be tainted. I would not agree to be under the same roof until he gets some reflection time and comes to me with his own suggestions of how he can ensure me that it will not be repeated, maybe there is a deeper anger management issue we need to get him help for. He has the burden of convincing me of the steps he has/will take to prevent it from happening again. An "I'm sorry" just wouldn't do it. I would let him know a second time, under no circumstances will be not tolerated, and mean it. I wouldn't call the cops or get any outsiders involved--wouldn't want to embarrass him or our unity.

If he did it in front of the kids, it would be a done deal. I would leave without a question. Can tolerate someone making a mistake with me, but to do it in front of the kids would show his disregard for our kids' well-being & I would have to leave for the sake of my kids.

Answer 1

I would have to be in the situation to know what I would do immediately, whether defend myself first and leave, or automatically grab my purse and keys, then leave.

How about you?

Answer 2

You already know what to do, and hence your question came out! Don't be fooled by his pathetic apologies and promises to never do it again. Truth is, and I'm very sorry, but if you stay? You are giving him 'permission' to hit you. If you leave, for good, this is enforcing your relationship boundaries, which everyone needs and deserves....Doing the right thing, usually also means doing something that is hard. But I honestly believe another door (or several) will open up for you. If your husband doesn't come to terms with his abuse, it will go on and on and on...All it takes to be in an abusive relationship is: Two people who meet, fall in love, and one chooses to use verbal or physical abuse as means to express their emotions/feelings, and the other to tolerate these degrading actions. Never surrender to an abuser. You are worth much more than that! Love yourself enough to get out while it is early...My daughter did not, and her abuser killed her 2 years later...Best of luck

Answer 3

I would take the kids and go,
however your statement above about not telling the kids is not something I would do, until I knew what was going on with my husband I would assume the worst I would fight for no visitation until he got help. and if they granted him visitation I would give the kids an emergency phone and give them very strict instructions to call me if something happens. Just because it would be nice to hide things about their fathers from them does not mean that you set your kids up to get hurt.

now as to what I have done in real life the one and only time my husband did hit me, I had to chase him in out of the street in january at midnight -12 weather and rushed him to the hospital where they changed his new meds.
I monitor his medication very closely and this one threw us all for a loop it only took him 24 hours to go nuts.
Sometimes there are other things at work which is why its good to know what is going on with your spouse.

Answer 4

Leave....go to the first available phone, call the police and have his asss thrown in jail for assault.
Then call a good divorce lawyer....he wouldn't even have the clothes on his back by the time I was through.

Answer 5

Leave. He sees the back of your head and never your face again. Do not give a man who hits a second chance. He will only repeat the process and you will lose confidence in yourself every time.

Answer 6

I'd find out why he hit you. Ok so the lawful thing to do would be to contact the police, but at the same time you could also just see if anything's wrong and try and sort it out - then show him how hurt you are not just physically but also emotionally that he would do something like that to you.
If he hit you just cos, then you should probably reassess your realtionship with him. Then sue his **** ;)
Or were you two just mucking around??

Answer 7

If we are talking abuse and not a playful swat...

First time, if he seeks counseling and cleans up his act, forgive him. If it happens a second time, have him arrested and leave him. I wouldn't be around long enough for it to happen a third time.

If he just apologizes and promises it will never happen again, dump his *ss. I don't care if he cries and beg you on his knees not to go. A man who hits needs to learn better ways to handle his anger or he WILL do it again.

Answer 8

if you still love him and want to be with him and he hit you, then you know he dosn't love you as much as you do, so the choice i reccomend is to try and talk over a break up calmly and avoiding argument because there have been many incidents where the wife leaves the husband for being abusive, and thn th husband get revenge on the wife by harming her or even killing her.

Answer 9

I would not hit him back and make the situation worse. I would leave immediately until the situation cool off. I would talk to him and found out why all the abuse. If this is a continuing pattern then I would seek a lawyer.

Answer 10

I did have a husband who tried to get physically violent. The first time he hit me, a was at a riding stable and had a crop in my hands. He got hit. The second time, a threw all the dishes in the house at him (expensive you have to replace dishes). The third time, I got in the car and chased him up a light pole. There was no after that, I divorced him.

Answer 11

I would like to say that I would up and leave and file charges and all that, but I honestly don't think I would.

Probably I would be confused and try and forget about it if I loved him enough. Of course I would confront him when he has settled down... but I do not think I would up and leave him.