It seems to be affecting her both in school and at home. It stops her from even trying anything.
She makes many excuses, and avoids doing things (from school work, to work around the home).
I don't want her to have a "victim" mentality. Any suggestions?
2007-11-03 07:51:32 · 7 answers · asked by ♦♦pixiechix♦♦ 5 in Education & Reference ➔ Teaching
Thanks diane...that's a good point. she plays the piano, flute and guitar...she's involved with other after school activities...
*exasperated sigh*
maybe it's not enough?
2007-11-03 08:05:00 · update #1
Tell her what you are trying to do: help her lose that negative attitude. Whenever she starts with "I can't..." tell her Stop. I want to hear what you CAN do. If the problem is that she can't write this paper because it's too much work, help her figure out what she CAN do. Can she do the reading and take some notes? Can she look up the topic on line and get some good notes from an Internet source? That's something she CAN do, and it's a start. If she does that part tonight, maybe she can make the outline or write the introductory paragraph tomorrow night. If she "Can't clean" her room, ask her what she CAN do. If she can't answer that question, help her. Can she pick up all her dirty laundry and start one load of wash? Can she take out her trash? Can she make up her bed?
Maybe she has difficulty breaking life down into small, manageable tasks. You could help her learn to do this, so that everything doesn't seem so over-whelming. Tell her you don't want to hear "I can't..." anymore, you will only listen to "I can..."
2007-11-03 08:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by leslie b 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many kids her age lack self confidence. quite often this is because they have been teased at school, so they figure it is easier to give up. You might ask her to tell you about her day at school and see how she reacts to your question. Non verbal communication speaks volumes. Talk to her about the things she does like. See if there is something she really wants to do. Does she want to play an instrument, or take dance lessons. Then get her enrolled and above all encourage her. This may get her over the hump.
2007-11-03 08:01:16 · answer #2 · answered by Diane B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just went on strike at home. The girls had to make something to eat , to learning how to wash clothes. Now they appreciate me for the little things I do for them. I still have to remind them. School on the other hand.... I really have to watch everything they do, and check their school work everyday. Sometimes tough love is the last resort.
2007-11-03 08:00:32 · answer #3 · answered by pumpkin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask her what she likes to do, and enroll her into some kind of fun program. I'm 14, and almost every year i do programs. Try talking to her about how education is important and what it will get you through life. Basically i would say give her a LECTURE.
2007-11-03 07:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by SuperK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOts of love, praise & encouragement! Sounds like she's good at a lot of things. Hopefully it's a phase she's going through. I remember how hard it was to be that age! Sounds like you are doing a great job!
2007-11-03 10:46:57 · answer #5 · answered by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if she does her school work & chores, you'll make her, her favorite dinner or to an amusement park. Or whatever she likes. Perhaps, she wants new shoes, or clothes.
2007-11-04 04:41:32 · answer #6 · answered by Thao Kun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since im that age(shhhhh), tell her that she can do whatever she puts into her mind. I think that'll work
2007-11-03 08:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋