Make Me Smile?

Question

i am in a very bad and depressing mood. can anyone make me smile? thanks. i apreciate the smiles (that i hope i will recieve) :)

Answer 1

Your avatar reminds me of a Rembrandt painting..
It's sooo colourful and amazing! :P

I hope the people who have been bothering you get their hands caught in doors

Answer 2

First, a smile :-)
Second, a joke:
An Australian, an Irishman and a Glaswegian are in a bar.
They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in
the corner.

He's so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs:
"My God, it's Jesus!"

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.

Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of
Fosters and a bottle of Buckfast.

Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and
Drinks the pints slowly, one after another.
After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking
Him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: "My
God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!

Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the
lager. As he lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock."Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely
gone! It's a miracle."

Jesus then approaches the Glaswegian who knocks over a chair
and a table in trying to get away from the Son of God.

"What's wrong my son?" says Jesus.
The Glaswegian shouts, "f*** off, I'm on disability benefit!"

Answer 3

Go do something unexpected and special for a stranger. Pay for a meal for a homeless person. Go to the grocery store and help someone with their groceries. Go to a retirement center and talk to some of the older men about their lives. Often times, when I'm really down, forgetting about myself and focusing exclusively on the needs of others really helps me out.

Answer 4

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

Answer 5

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep .

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

I told my doctor "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

Answer 6

Cheese

Answer 7

One day a blonde brunnette and a red head approached a river full of sharks and crocodiles and stuff and they were trying to figure out a way to get across. The red head (ranger) tried to swim across but she got eaten and then the brunnette tried to jump across but she didn�t make it and got eaten. Then the blonde says ” I know ill use that bridge over there to make a boat to get across! “

Answer 8

When I play golf I wear two pairs of pants. Just incase I get a hole in one. Ha ha ha.

Answer 9

how do you get a tissue to dance, put a little boogie in it! not funny? dont blame me, blame that damn robot robin williams

Answer 10

Hey things ain't that bad,,,,compare your self to the Italian in the story below & u'll see u are prolly in a better shape than the Italian:-

One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.

I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say, you no
understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you betta no piss on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know lady, she calla me somma ma b*tch.

Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy ana tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me FA COUGH!

Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock - She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock on table you sonna ma b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call me sonna ma b*tch.

So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go to toilet. So, I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on bed. He say you betta not sheet on bed you sonna ma b*tch. I don't even know man ana he call me sonna ma b*tch!

I go to check out of hotel and man at desk say peace to you. I say peace on you too!, you sonna ma b*tch! - I GO BACK TO ITALY!!

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See? life ain't that bad after all,,,,,,,Hope u feel better