How many men do you think are physically abused in their relationships?

Question

A great friend of mine got into a fight with his wife last night & she hit him. I haven't seen him but it sounded like it even left some marks. He's a professional & there is no finanical need involved, she's the one dependent on him, if anything. I doubt he would have told me if he wasn't caught up in the moment and didn't call me right after the incident. I'm outraged by 2 things: 1- My own reaction-- if it was a girlfriend, she would be staying in my guest room as we speak. I was upset, but not to the point of going to get him. 2- As upset as he was, he wouldn't have even dreamt about pressing charges, which is something I would have considered if anybody put their hand on me, not saying always would, but it would be a consideration. I can't help but wonder how often this occurs in relationships & how often this is overlooked even when there are injuries! Why the double standard?

Josh G: As always, great points!

Josh G: I checked out the link & answer to the other question. Excellent points there too.

Answer 1

I've seen this kind of thing happen before, also.

It comes from the code of chivalry, which, in reference to women and children, says nothing about respect, it references mercy and gentility toward 'helpless persons,' i.e.: women, children, and unarmed peasants.

This means you may not seek retribution from the woman until she becomes an actual threat. Let's face it, what man wants to admit he felt physically threatened by his woman?

In modern times, a man will generally not seek retribution from his own woman unless she has successfully hurt him where it counts (heart, wallet, whatever, depending on the man). Most folks, man and woman alike, do not like to admit that their partner whom they love and prioritize above all others truly hurt them in any fashion, because it makes you look like you can't choose your partners.

It is impossible to say how widespread this could be. We've all seen the scene in the movies where the woman pounds ineffectively on the man's chest as he (half-heartedly, slowly, sadly) takes her by the wrists and (gently) confines her.

I know I've had girlfriends try to get all shovey at me. I've never taken action against them. In my teenage years, a few girls thought it would be funny to hit for the fruit, unprovoked, to show how they can master a man. Each one of them got punched full in the face, and not a teacher or administrator had a thing to say about it.

But the standard exists because, usually, in most run of the mill, everyday cases, the man must permit the woman to hurt him, in order for her to really hurt him, so it is his own fault, by the societal standards applied to men that I go into in my answer here:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlfNXnJOkaxM8yOBqkQtdNTsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071102161622AA2K9RZ&show=7#profile-info-S86ITQUBaa

So, I suppose my final answer is that the standard exists because women are not the only people held to stereotypical gender roles, and these days, even more loosely.

Answer 2

Yes .. it does happen....more often than folks are aware.
It is always assumed Men will always be the aggressors ... not always true. I have seen instances where it was discovered later the guy never touched her, and the injuries were self inflected.
And yes .. alot of guys are embarrassed to report the physical abuse as it can be seen as "Not Manly" ...
Any why ya slice it ... each circumstance is different, and in many of the cases I've seen men don't report it because they didn't see the female half as a credible threat. Later after it escalated ... and a report is made .... they really look stupid or impaired for never filing the initial report to document the issues.
For stats you can check State Law Enforcement web sites on Domestic abuse .. alot document the differences for primary aggressor's ..(male or female)

Good Luck !

Answer 3

It's such a man's world... and with it, men do sometimes get kicked in the balls because of it. Think about divorce, for example. Who tends to get screwed there? Men. Marital abuse? Statistics show that men are usually the abusers and unfortunately, it's hard to reverse it when it really is the woman doing it. It's a true shame... more now than ever are women becoming an equal to their male counterparts and should be looked at that way in all aspects of life.

I hope your friend opens his eyes and leaves the relationship instead of succumbing to abuse. As with a woman, it's hard to just walk out the door. He probably loves her and doesn't want to throw her out on the street. He needs to be assertive and let her know that it is NOT ok for her to hit him and abuse him.

Anyway, here are some interesting articles I found:

http://www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/DomesticViolenceMen.htm
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1876522/posts

Answer 4

Men are more embarrassed to admit this and as often as it happens more men are emotional and mentally abused then physically. It is easier for men to overlook the emotional abuse because it doesn't show physically and therefore they do not have to live with the embarrassment of physical abuse. Many men were brought up never to hit a women and these women take advantage of that. I have no respect for women who beat on men without justification.

Answer 5

It can't be overlooked if it is never reported. As in the case of your friend, nothing can happen to the attacker because the victim of the assault did not report the crime. Most states now have the "OJ" law. When they are called to the scene of a domestic violence report, someone will go to jail if there are visible injuries. Most men won't report the assault because they don't want to appear "weak".

I personally would have called to police and while she was in jail, her crap would be in front of the house when she got out of jail.

Answer 6

I used to date this girl who would hit me. She even pulled a gun on me once. She was spoiled, extremely jealous and very immature. I never pressed charges against her and never hit her. Although, I did call the police when she stole my car. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last. She ended up have a near fatal car accident that changed her outlook on life forever. It is not good to stay in abusive relationships. They can leave a lifetime of psychological damage.

Answer 7

i've got heard data approximately 10%, yet i could desire to be incorrect. i could could desire to look it to as much as substantiate. i'm no longer too effective the way you're able to get on the actual form, simply by fact merely approximately no guy could ever quite merely admit to a minimum of considered one of those element. Any double common exists in common terms simply by fact of adult males's attitudes in the direction of such issues. adult males merely delight themselves alot greater on being bodily complicated and self-reliant. Telling somebody which you acquire beat up by your women is like telling somebody that your the suitable pussy and not a real guy in any respect. the only element worse could be going to press fees simply by fact your being bodily ruled by your individual women. i'm no longer asserting I trust such sentiment, and that i puzzles even me from time to time why abused persons of the two intercourse do no longer in common terms go away a relationship. i will in common terms wager that this guy has alot of ego tied up into this relationship. have self assurance it or no longer, adult males statistically attempt harder to make relationships paintings even whilst they are no longer, they're additionally greater broken up by failed relationships to boot. So if women do no longer go away broken relationships whilst there is abuse, you are able to guess then adult males do no longer the two.

Answer 8

Higher than you might think.... Most men would never admitt to being abused by a woman.... I didn't. When your only option is to hold their wrist to stop it, and then be accused of abuse yourself because their wrist may have gotten bruised you don't have much motivation to bring things to light.

But hey.... you can always walk away and support them the rest of you life too!

Answer 9

It's probably not a high percentage, but I'm willing to bet that its a lot higher than people might realize due to the fact that a lot men don't report it.

Answer 10

Im 59 years old...and living alone!...even though ive always done my job,helped with the washing up/cooked the whole meal/looked after them when theyre sick/do all the chores/shopping...etc...and Ive never hit a women in my life!!!...I still get abused!...why!...I think women like a man like me...but in reallity they like a bastard!...