i'm getting married in 2 weeks and my fiance never seems to want to have sex. I know there is no one on the side cuz when he's not working he's at home. we spend ALL of our spare time together. i also just had a baby almost 3 months ago. his baby of course. but i've lost almost ALL of my pregnancy weight. I feel like i've tried everything. sexy outfits, lingerie, giving him little dances and he STILL hardly ever wants to have sex. now i know he enjoys it and always has. and My "lady parts" haven't changed at all cuz i had a c section so that's not it either. what can i do? he only really wants to get intimate a couple times a month and i try for a couple of times a week. i mean we're young!! i'm 18 and he's 20. so why doesn't he want me? :-/ he keeps on telling me i'm still sexy and even when i get him "excited" he still doesn't want to have sex. I'm just so confused. anyone experience this?
2007-11-03 05:41:36 · 17 answers · asked by Xander and Marie's Mommy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have asked him straight out. he says that he just doesn't want too and doesn't feel like it.
2007-11-03 05:46:56 · update #1
i say "lady parts" because i don't want to offend anyone and i KNOW that everything goes back to normal size but sometimes it's different and i just wanted to let people know that that's not the problem. and he DOES love me. if he was just marrying me for the baby, we would have tied the knot when i got pregnant and everyone told us to. don't talk about what you don't know please. i'm here looking for real answers, not rude comments talking about what you know NOTHING about.
2007-11-03 05:49:42 · update #2
for people who say we're too young. not getting mad or anything. i partially agree. surprisingly he's basically younger than i am. lol. i've been on my own for about 3 years. started college at 16, have had my own apartment for 3 years. good steady job at the same place but i've been working since i was about 10 (maid jobs, mowing lawns, etc to help my mom with bills) . i was forced to grow up pretty fast. he however had everything handed to him in life and did just get a shocker when he got thrown into the real world a couple of months ago. maybe that's the problem
2007-11-03 06:03:16 · update #3
Maybe he is having a fear of something.
2007-11-03 06:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
those wounds can take an extremely long term to heal. How long have you ever had him? many mother and father that abandon are heavily bothered. perhaps he replaced into additionally neglected or abused via the mummy. that would desire to make it complicated to bond with a woman. it would desire to additionally be favourite for him. Many little ones bond heavily with only a million determine and stay distant with the different. i understand that's painful for you-all you're able to do is supply him a number of of unconditional love . Do each and every thing you may to assist him sense secure and attempt to no longer stress him. If he's in any different case springing up oftentimes you probable ought to attend and notice. If there are the different signs and indications of issues a visit with a toddler psychologist could be so as. ideally a psychologist, no longer a psychiatrist. The later likes to diagnose and supply meds maximum usually . A therapist is a extra useful determination.
2016-10-14 21:36:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be experencing severe anxiety about "getting married" (very normal!!) He has probably come to the realization that he is about to be a Husband and a Father. Guys get a little freaked out about that huge responsibilty. And also part of it could be , that he IS just tired from working. Don't try so hard. Give him a chance to initiate some sex. Be patient too. It will all work out !! Good Luck!!!
2007-11-03 06:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by casper 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hi i read your question and honestly im a 27 year old male don't think it's you cause it's probably not he just mite not have a high sex drive as you me and you are the same i had a ex who was like that i wanted to have sex all the time and she only wanted sex 3x a month it is real, frustrating but if you want to be with him for the rest of your life you are going to have to pull some new tricks out your bag like when he comes home just take right there strip his clothes off and start oral pleasure and have sex right there on the spot he will be pleased and coming back for more everyday of the week truss
2007-11-03 05:51:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a normal reaction for some men. He now sees you not just as his sexy wife but now you are someones mother. Give him time and explain to him that you still need his attention in the bedroom. Sometimes guys assume you know they find you attractive because they told you so last month. Be open and honest with him about your feelings and be considerate of his. He is a daddy now and this opens a new set of emotions for him just like it does for you. Sex and intimacy may not be foremost on his mind right now.
2007-11-03 05:53:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First the standard answer. You are too young to get married... but as a divorce attorney, I support you decision. It is people like you that pay for all my stuff. Thank you.
Now for the real answer. You need to give this guy a bit of a break. He has a lot on his plate right now. Let the wedding happen and him get used to being a parent and I bet he will change. Besides, you stated he spends all of his spare time with you. Maybe he just needs a little more space. It's not likely to happen given your situation, but it is likely a factor.
Or.... it could be that you are now 18, and legal, which no longer excites his perverted lust for underage girls.
Good luck. E-mail me for divorce advise when you come to your senses.
2007-11-03 05:51:42 · answer #6 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
it could be just that his way of seeing you has changed. I have heard of once they have the Babbie that they can not get that out of there mind so often they do still love that person but they just can not bare to be having sex with them so some reason.
but also it does sound like it is a very stressful time for you and him and that could be effecting him to.
Maybe you 2 need to get some concealing or something like that
Good luck
2007-11-03 06:00:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be overr whelmed at work or has alot of problems on his mind. Instead of pushing sex on him, push love on him. Cater to his needs and find out what is wrong. Hold him in your arms or give him a loving massage. Once he sees that you care about him, the sex should come back.
2007-11-03 05:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by redfeather1972 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sometimes it has to do with you being a mother. He might view you differently now almost like you are his MOM and maybe that is why he finds it hard to want to have sex with you. You have to be straight with him and tell him what you want from him.Ask him why he does not want to have sex with you now.DO NOT GO THRU WITH THE MARRIAGE IT WILL ONLY END IN DIVORCE. Good luck to you
2007-11-03 05:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm....maybe theres a "hang up" in his brain?...it could be he feels inferior?...cos of an innocent remark you may have made or something...or he could be having problems at work etc...sexual desire is in the brain..and is very easily pushed off its perch!...if something upsets it...women sometimes interperet this as "you dont want me any more"....which im sorry to say...only makes it worse...perhaps a bit of comfort and chat about things may help...
2007-11-03 05:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by djave djarvoo 'djas originel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not ur fault honey and it's not about u .. i think it's about him becomming a dad ? u two seem a little too young to be parents and he might be freaked out about that
talk to him ..
GooD LucK ^__^
2007-11-03 05:59:46 · answer #11 · answered by Maria 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋