I was married for 22 years and my husband wasnt happy but didnt have the guts to tell me. He went to find himself but found someone else, but wants to stay in contact with me and see me every now and then. He has not said he doesnt love me. I am just so confused and dont know how to forget him or get him out of my head. what would you do
2007-11-03 05:25:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First 22 years is a long time and there were NO signs he did not have feeling for you. I find it hard to believe anyone man or woman could fake LOVE for so long.You might seek some therapy to help you and definitely cut off any contact with him for your own emotional well being.If he is with another woman then that is definitely saying I DON'T love you anymore. Take some time for yourself and enjoy loving yourself and life. Eventually another man will notice you and your life will be much happier. GIVE IT TIME
2007-11-03 05:33:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Friend,
22yrs is a long time. If he was not happy and left, than you need to cut the ties there. You mentioned that he found someone else, and I am sure she is still in his life. Regardless of wheather he loves you presently or not, the important thing is that he left you for another. That my friend is the bottom line, and the sooner you face the truth, the better it is for you. As far as keeping contact with him, forget it, he is a loser, and you need to move on. I am sorry if my words are comming across very harsh, but because I went through the same thing in my life, mind you my marriage was for only 2yrs, even than I too was given the same advise by my father who is no longer with me, but his wisdom is and always will be with me. You don't need this mental abuse, honey, find yourself someone who loves and cares for you, and is not going to leave you and walk out because he is not happy, or he needs to find himself. Best of luck, and sorry if I have offended you or your feelings in anyway.
2007-11-03 12:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by Simbha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how sad that he never told u how he felt, or what was wrong. to be able to forget u have to severe all ties to him, including his family, any mutual friends. u won't easily forget him, it will take time, u will go through a grief process, it might help to join a grief group, where there are others who know what u are going through and can help u through this. i would definitely file for divorce if u haven't already, ask for alimony. to truly get over it u can't expect any more from this man, not any conversation, or hopes he will come home, nothing. as long as u hold onto any hope u will not be able to move past it. find some supportive friends, and pray. prayer does work. don't stay in contact with someone who destroyed u emotionally, don't give them a chance to do it again.
2007-11-03 14:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You never will if you do not let him go. If he has found someone else, then he has made his choice. Don't let him keep you hanging on with false hopes. If he's been unhappy for so long, what makes you think it will change? Tell him that you cannot do it and that you need to move on with your life as he has done. In time, you will be able to let him go, especially when you find someone new to share your life with. Good luck to you! : )
2007-11-03 12:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by randmthots 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, the "let's keep in touch" line. Don't fall for this as it only keeps you on the emotional ropes. If it's over, it's over. Take some time for yourself, to think and grieve and to figue out how you will keep moving since clearly you still love him. In a year or two, if you feel like it, you can share the joy of your life with him. Or not. Take care of yourself first.
2007-11-03 12:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by banana6464 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
22 yrs. is a mighty long time to be with someone. You are not going to "get over him". But eventually, you will "fall out of love" with him. I say, give him his space to "find himself". But he can't have it both ways. You are "comfortable" for him. But he chose to "step out". So now he needs to learn live on his own. He made his bed, now let him lie in it (without you of course!! ) I would not let him contact me. I know it's VERY hard !! But you can't let him keep control over your heart strings. Cut the strings and try your best to keep busy and move on. He did !!!! Good Luck !!!!
2007-11-03 13:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by casper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on , he has someone else. He wants to keep you on a string and play head games . He'll want you when he needs something to keep from asking his lover.When he get what he wants from you he'll give you his behind to kiss. Then you be back to the emotional drama again. Move on and be through with him for good.
2007-11-03 13:05:41 · answer #7 · answered by Thunder 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is still keeping you as his "plan B" or back-up plan girl. Don't let him get away with it!
You are a beautiful worthwhile person who deserves a MAN who will treat you right. Now go find him.
Good luck.
2007-11-03 12:58:48 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in order to move on your gonna have to cut him out of your life cause him toying around and seeing you every so often isnt helpping you move on and grow a a single person. you need to find who you are again. it hard and will hurt but in order to get better its what you need
2007-11-03 14:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋