I Didn’t Know
You said that you’d love me forever
You said that you couldn’t live without me
You said that I was beautiful
You said that I was your only
I said that I didn’t believe you
I said that you were lying
I said that you never loved me
I said that and you started crying
I said that I didn’t love you
Oh, why couldn’t I shut up?
I said all those things to you
Why couldn’t I lighten up?
I didn’t know you were true
I didn’t know you wanted me to be your wife
I didn’t know this when I screamed “LIAR!”
I didn’t know this until the night you ended your life
Now I’ll never be your wife
Now I’ll never see
But, now I know
That in heaven, we will always be
I didn’t have the guts to say
That when I pushed you away
I wanted you to come closer to me
Goodbye, my love
Goodbye, me sweet
Goodbye, my lover
Don’t be sad, for now I see
Just know that I will always love you
2007-11-03 05:09:48 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
that's lovely, have a star!!
2007-11-03 05:11:49 · answer #1 · answered by McHaggis Scoticus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did that really happen. If it did that's horrible. Screw what all those jerks said. You did a great job and they are totally jealous. You know I bet one day you'll be a poet or a writer. Just watch you are only 14. Again don't feel bad about the other comments. Overall 1- 10 you get a 6. I'm comparing you to Shakespere and everything. It was GREAT FOR 14
2007-11-03 05:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by girls k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, for starters it seems like a rather mature poem for a fourteen year old--are you observing another or are you trying to expand following a tenage crush?
To me, it sounded just like a set of song lyrics, and good ones too. If you or a friens can play guitar, piano etc, then why not try writing a simple structured tune to go along with it and see what occurs?--Stranger things have happened!!
Have a great weekend, and keep on writing, I'll read it anytime.
Keef
2007-11-03 05:16:57 · answer #3 · answered by keefbeef 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we've not got any concept what venture has brought about this... and that would not remember. This poem is with regards to the sensation, no longer the circumstances. it is the genius of the poem. There are 3 lines that stand out. The final line of direction, it extremely is the entire factor of the poem. "Who is familiar with what the destiny brings." It feels stale and clunky. finally there is "summer season only mendacity in wait." Wow! Pow! it is so efficient and evocative. solid artwork!
2016-09-28 06:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a lot of talent for 14 years old. Pretty adult topic though. Keep at it. Writing is inspiration to yourself and others. I am a writer as well and started when I was about your age.
2007-11-03 05:14:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 14, you probably don't really know what love is yet. But this is cute. Start really worrying if you're writing something like this when you're over 30.
2007-11-03 05:14:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very good! Very powerful! Very Sad.
Very serious for a 14 year old. Go outside and play.
2007-11-03 05:14:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is WAY to repetitive. the message you are trying to portray is good, but the lyrics need some serious DIVERSITY. dont start every line with "goodbye" or "you said that" or "I said that" it gets kinda hard to read. Don't get me wrong, repeating isn't a bad thing, you just over did it. check out my poem, and see the difference. I used repeating in mine. just look, hopefully it helps you a little in figuring out how and when it's ok to repeat.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuQCAdMTIXYUn5COSG9H.BTsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071102165325AAXnHsc
2007-11-03 05:15:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i really liked it and i think it's very deep. but in the couple first paragraphs there are some sentences that the "that" wasn't needed. but awsome job i have no idea how you can think of such a poem. you have a very creative mind :)
2007-11-03 05:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Great job. I think it reflects your emotions, and if your heart if broken, don't worry. It will heal and there will be other loves in your life. Study hard, excell, and hopefully, you will fulfill your dreams. Good luck.
2007-11-03 05:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by Paulus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its beautiful
i would suggest entering your poems on www.poems-and-quotes.com instead of on yahoo answers
there they will give you constructive critisism instead of just telling you its bad.
Dont listen to the other people they know nothing about poetry...
keep writing
2007-11-03 05:15:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋