If your 16 year old daughter wished to attend college her junior/senior years of high school and stay ina dorm

Question

at such college (the college would either be 45 minutes away or 2 hours away) what would be the first questions you would pose? (Your daughter is exceptionally mature and intelligent, and the cost of college would be covered entirely by PSEO, but staying in a dorm would not) This is a rare case, she is intellectually ready for college as well as emotionally/socially ready.

But, you are obviously unsure about the entire thing, and are very protective. What questions would you pose? What might be legitimate answers to them?


(this is a situation I am in)

*****

PLEASE NOTE- I am the daughter. (Currently a sophomore, looking for options for next year)

Answer 1

My first question might be to ask why you are so motivated. What's the rush? I assume your grades are exceptional and you are already considering a profession. What is it? I had absolutely no idea where I was headed at 16, and I would not expect any high school sophmore to have a really good idea.

Provided all goes well and you are able to convince me that you are ready for college on an intellectual level, I would then querie you about your social preparedness. College kids are only a couple of years older than you, but there is much more going on. I'd address alcohol, sex, and drug use.

Please consider this move very carefully. College is very competative and should be taken very seriously. There is nothing wrong with sticking out another year of high school and entering college with a mental advantage. You sound like you're on the ball, especially since you're taking the time to prepare for 'the talk'. But ask yourself why you are so focused on going to college early. And remember; it could take 20 years to recover from pushing the envelope and burning out... been there, done that. I'm just completing MY degree at age 43.

Just a quick aside; my friend has an exceptionally bright daughter who got a partial scholarship to an Ivy League school. The parents and the daughter were all thrilled, so off she went for her freshman year. By Thanksgiving she had fallen in love with a local grad student and stopped going to classes. She never returned to school or home. Although it's tough on him, and I seriously doubt it will ever happen, my buddy still hopes she'll return someday.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 2

well I took AP classes all throughout jr.high and high school so I decided just to take classes at a local college (did NOT want to take a class at a community college). I personally believe that if someone is socially and mental/emotionally ready, then so be it, college is a great option. However staying in a dorm,for some parents may be a bit scary at the age of 16. Maybe what you might want to do is take classes at a community college or one close by, keep a 4.0 grade average, and then when you're done with a semester or 2, tell your mother that you'd really like to stay in a dorm,and come up with your own personal reason behind it. Good luck though, and by the way, staying in a dorm, to me personally is not what it's all cracked up to be.

Answer 3

Hi!

The first thing I would ask myself is " Do I really want to miss out on all the fun things and friends and everything that you do those last two years of High School? If High School (junior and senior years) is a positive experience for you now, you would be missing alot. Those are the most fun years, proms, dances, going with a bunch of kids to Starbucks or anywhere.

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but time passes so quickly and if you are in a positive situation now, you'll be sorry later that you missed those years. If you're not in a positive situation, you could change schools and see if it's better.

The thing about college, even though you are mature enough, you are still going to be very young and haven't had some of the experiences that others have had. You may seem young to other college kids and sometimes this makes you either feel like you've got to fit in or whether you are or not, you may feel that you just aren't where they are. They may or may not feel that way, but if you are always wondering, it could be a bummer for you. That said, you could be very happy in college, but you would still have missed out on a lot.

Do you know what you would do in every situation you would get into in college? If you are going to go, you need to get others to (not your peers) to ask you and see what you answer for yourself and know what you are definitely going to do before you get there.

Do you have a strong will to go against the crowd if you need to? It is very hard to not do something when everyone else is and they are staring at you.

I was in a situation of boy/girl dorm. Every night I would wake up with some different person getting out of my roommates bed and this was going on all over the dorm. This was the honors dorm! It kind of made me mad. I wanted to sleep and sleeping with everyone is just not my standards. It was weird and I ended up changing colleges.

Then "College Teachers" or Univ.--- Some are great! but some are horrible. If you go, try to find out who the good teachers are before you sign up for class and remember that the good ones fill up first.

Hope these thoughts and questions help you think through what you want to do?

Answer 4

Im in the PSEO program in Minnesota... and I can only take one class a semester.. So by the end of the year a total of 3 classes. Since I cant do the Summer Semester for free. Another thing is I dont think you could live in a dorm, since you would be considered a full time highschool student, and part time college student. Idk if its the same where you are, but thats how it is here. Also PSEO is for seniors. But then again it might be different.

I know it didnt answer your exact question. But I just didnt want you to get your hopes up, if you havent looked into it all the way yet. But I think when you talk to your parents about it, have them involved in the WHOLE thing. Like when you tour the campus, when you talk to your highschool, when you talk to the college represenitive, when you go to sign up for classes, when you take the test to get it. Let them be part of it all so they know what is going on, and they can ask any questions they have. Also bring up the point that it will save you thousands of dollars. My first class, was 3 credits, and cost $2350.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm not even sure a college would let you do that. Most schools that offer post secendary options (I assume that's what PSEO stands for), are just a couple classes during normal school. My high school offered them, and the campus was maybe 5 minutes from the school. There was no option of staying there and being a college student. In our school you still had high school course requirements to fulfill.

In my opinion (this is my 5th year in college), you are not ready at 16 to be thrown into this mess. You need to be home still enjoying the time you've got with them. The hectic crazy life that college brings is not to be taken lightly. Plus, who wants to deal with annoying roommates?

I say look into something closer to home that you won't have to pay out the wazoo prices for a dorm. My first year I lived in the dorm and they made us pay $3000 a semester! FOR A 10 x 10 BOX! Plus, there are other things that need to be taken into account. If you live on campus (at my school) you're required to "buy" a food plan. Which at the cheapest was $1500.

It gets pricey. Stay at home. Dont' stress your mother out. :)

Answer 6

I wouldn't hon, because you're still a minor and your parents are legally totally responsible for your well being until you turn 18, and then they may still be partially responsible for you (depending on the state and your living situation).until you turn 21......unless you are fully emancipated from them (only family court can declare that) if an emergency were to arise can they be reached immediatly, esp a medical situation since you are unable to sign for any nessesary treatments......only your parents or someone they legally designate can do that...
....I'd strongly consider either finishing out hi-school as you may feel you're ready for college but there's so much you'll miss socially in those two years...or commute. If you don't drive then arrangements need to be made, or attenda closer college. But college dorm living at your age?...No, sweetie, I don't advise it. Wait until you're 18......

College dorm life isn't what you think it is...most dorms you share a room...and you don'tpick your roomy, either. There's usually a community bathroom, you loose a lot of privacy...college food is notoriously yucky and the dorms institute curfews for undergraduates....after lock down you don't get in and you're stuck outside if you miss curfew.....there's a communal laundro-mat......it isn't all fun and freedom....rethink it.please. And Good Luck

Answer 7

I took college classes my Freshmen year of high school but I did not stay in the dorms. I wouldn't suggest it either. If she wants to take duel enrollement courses that is outstanding however she is still underage and you are still responsible for anything that happens to her. If she gets raped or hurt you are still her parental guardians and you would be held liable. to me as a college student at the age of 24 I wouldn't live in the dorms.

Answer 8

i would try to find a community college that you can take courses either while your going to high school or during the summer. going to college is a big step and you usually need to graduate high school to be accepted to a 4 years college anyways.

Answer 9

I dont think it will be a positive change for you. It's much better for you to continue high school and then going AWAY to college (as in a different state!)

Answer 10

I THINK IT WOULD BE OK FOR YOU TO LIVE IN A DORM. YOUR FATHER SHOULD MAKE SURE THAT THERE IS SOME KIND OF DORM ROOM ATTENDANT OR SOMETHING. ( BUT MOST CAMPUSES DO HAVE THEM) ALSO..HOW MANY ROOMATES WOULD THERE BE?_THESE ARE JUST A FEW ?'S I WOULD ASK.