Now please don't quote 'When Harry met Sally'! I'm talking about a man and a woman who keep in contact over a long period of time,say months or years...even though they don't live in the same area. They may not be in contact very often but the friendship still continues. I've heard it said that a woman can have a man as a friend only but a man always has a 'soft spot', I mean feelings of attraction for a woman he keeps in contact with. Is this true? Would love in particular to hear from the men on this one! Also, if a guy has actually kissed this girl at some stage and keeps in touch with her, isn't it more likely that he holds some desire for her beyond a brother-sister type of feeling? By the way, I'm talking about two single people.
2007-11-03 04:59:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes if they're single and stay single.
But if they get married or into a committed relationship they need to talk to their SO about this early on to see if the SO will have any problems with it and take it from there as to the course of action. And if the SO does not have problems with it then, do a recheck later.
I know a guy who kissed with me thought he loved me, and he had no problem moving on to the next woman. He said that he would always have a tender place for me in his heart and that he loved her and me, but where is he now? Not talking to me, that's for sure. Maybe he felt torn or guilty or maybe he stopped feeling like he loved me and had a tender place for me. Or maybe he still wanted me but because of her he had to let our friendship go.
I think in some cases it can happen but in others it can create problems with the 2 single people when they are dating other people or when they decide to get involved in a serious relationship or marriage down the road. Especially if one still harbors secret feelings for someone else and the SO is jealous.
2007-11-03 05:20:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually in this situation the guy may still harbor feelings for the other woman. I know that this may have become an issue with me and my friend when I married so I ended the friendship. I think men are more commonly wanting a fling with there friend when you consider they may have gone on a date or the guy had feelings for the girl like a crush for instance but she just wanted to be friends.
I would say it is easier for a woman to be friends with a guy but usually the guy wants more then friendship.
I hope this helps and if this is a problem between you and your mate tell him to end it now or he will lose you forever.
Really when you are dating other woman or even other men should not be involved. Except maybe close friends that are already in relationships with other people.
Good Luck and Best Wishes
May God Bless You.
P.S. Friendship first can usually end in a long term relationship.
2007-11-03 05:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, yes, and yes. I grew up in a neighborhood full of boys. There wasn't another female around until I turned 13. Never dated any of them, but they were all close friends of mine growing up. Since then, have always had more male friends than female. I'm 42 yrs. old now and if you ask why I don't date or meet more men than I do, everyone will tell you that it's because there's always a couple of men around me at any given time. They pick on me, I pick on them and we can talk about anything.
I do not kiss these men! I do not sleep with these men! Not that I am not more physically comfortable with a couple of them. I have one that I eat dinner with almost every day and he has great hands and gives great back rubs. Been getting back rubs, massages from this man for almost 2 years, never anything more.
A lot of people think that we are a couple simply because we appear physically comfortable together. Some people think that I have several boyfriends and that I'm playing them all! I am going to a concert tonight with another male friend.
Personally, I find people having to ask this question and all of the rumors very amusing. I also find it amusing when I run across people who think a male and female can't be just friends and I wonder if it's because that person is incapable of having the intimacy and sharing of a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex without feeling something sexual themselves. I truly am not attracted to any of my friends in this way, but I honestly cannot say that a couple of them aren't attracted to me. The boundaries of friendship have been made very clear to these guys and they've always respected them. One of those guys has been around for years now and works for me from time to time on my rentals and my house.
I will also admit that I am not high strung or really emotional like a lot of women. As a matter of fact, I find that the same things that most of my male friends complain about with their SOs, are the same things that get to me about my female friends.
Either way my life is full and rarely ever boring or lonely, so I'm very grateful for what I have.
2007-11-03 07:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my past experience, I can agree with you. Women can see it as friends, but men have a soft spot....at least that's how I've experienced it. Most of the guys I thought were just friends ended up telling me they had feelings for me at some point. Since I always kinda looked at my guy friends as "big brothers," the friendship usually doesn't continue much after that because I feel weird around them knowing that they want more and I don't.
2007-11-03 05:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by rockerchic821 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three male friends whom are ALL strictly platonic and also live another state away from me. Not a single one of them has ever harbored feelings for me or I for them.
These guys were my nearest and dearest friends before I married and still are to this day. My husband loves that I have great friends regardless of gender. And the guys, they all like my husband so it works well for all.
Regardless of potential feelings I think limiting ourselves to friendships of only one gender (our own) is just petty. Unless the issue of feelings is too much, then there's no reason why a man and woman cannot be platonic friends.
2007-11-03 05:10:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is possible, but more times than not one wants more than the other. I heard Chris Rock say once that the only way a man has woman friends is because he was trying to get laid, he said the wrong thing and wound up in the friendzone in stead of the bed with her!
2007-11-03 05:16:42 · answer #6 · answered by voiceoftruth74 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, one of them will always have a hidden adjenda. Usually it's the man. The women will think he's just a great guy, she'll go to him and he'll look like a hero when she's just had a fight with the husband, he'll side with her and be there, and really he is just waiting to pounce, his adjenda is to get in your pants, and he hopes at some point he will be at the right place at the right time to take advantage of you in a weak moment.
2007-11-03 07:11:27 · answer #7 · answered by Answerman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Not possible...at least from a man's perspective. As innocent as it may begin, that "soft spot" will expand with continual contact....and along with it, the seed of sexual desire. Only gay men can maintain close personal relationships with women and not have sexual thoughts.
2007-11-03 05:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to hear some male responses too. But I say, YES, it is possible. You can have a brother/sister relationship and not ever have any "soft spot feelings". I'm anxious to hear from the fella's too !!
2007-11-03 05:08:20 · answer #9 · answered by casper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's possible to be friends only ..
sometimes it's nice to JUST be friends with a person not married to .. just friends
i have so many guy-friends and yes some of them fell for me (sadly we stopped being friends cuz i rejected them) and some of them didnt want to ruin our friendship and we're still friends until today .. it just depends on the person
2007-11-03 05:20:12 · answer #10 · answered by Maria 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋