It look like you don't trust them etc... I don't want to lend it because I think that he is incapable of paying it back and it will only lead to problems... also if you are in a group of people and you lend one person money the others often will also ask to borrow money because they think they can take advantage... how do you justify lending money to one person but not another without creating conflicts.. suppose there are 4 people and I lend one of them £20 ( and I am not sure I will even get it back so I view it as a gift for now) then the others each ask for £20 - that would be £100 potentially down the drain - but if I say no it looks like I favour 1 person over the others - what to do in such a situation ?
2007-11-03 04:23:19 · 12 answers · asked by Beast from the East 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
just say sorry you have no more money on you or say you only have enouhg money on you for bread what you have ran out of for example,and your mum or someone wont be happy if you dont buy it and say you would of lent them some otherwise
2007-11-03 04:30:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RantingLo...gave some really good suggestions. The only thing I would add would be to reverse the situation and try asking him for money before he can ask you. Something like..."Do you have the money that I lent you? I'm running a little short this month for my bills." Whether it's true or not doesn't matter, the point is to make him realize that you can not give him money all the time. And that you have things you need to pay for too. Remember when borrowing money to friends or family you should never expect to be paid back. You should be prepared to never see that money again. If he was a real friend he wouldn't keep taking advantage of your friendship.
2016-05-27 04:25:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be a people pleaser - you don't like saying no, fearing it will give offence. I once loaned a friend money I didn't have; I was a single parent, over the course of a few years, had managed to save a very small sum of money for a rainy day; this so-called friend came to me crying that she could not pay her electricity bill, she had spent the money on stupid stuff and her husband would go beserk. She asked me for a loan, said she would pay it back as soon as her husband got paid.
She didn't; every week she had a different excuse; finally she came to me with a raffle ticket that she had bought for a car; she said, "it's a limited draw, you have a great chance of winning a big prize, I thought you'd like that more than the money"
I said no, I loaned her cash and it was cash I wanted back. She told me to take it or leave it, that was my choice. I was so dumbfounded - I said I would have no option but to go to her husband to ask him to pay me. At this, she screamed abuse at me, went home and told her hubby what had happened; and guess what? He sided with me! He paid me back; she never spoke to me again.
These days, the only people I loan money to are my own adult children, and that would be rare. They don't ask unless it's a real emergency; and because of that, when they do need, I give it readily.
You have to get tough. you can say, very nicely, "sorry, I don't have it to lend."
If they persist, as can happen...keep repeating the mantra..."I don't have it". they may ask if you will have it tomorrow - look them in the eye and say, "no, I will not have it tomorrow either. Or Next week. Or next month. Or ever.I don't loan money." then be your usual nice self after that.
They may try to sulk or use a bit of emotional blackmail. Ignore it. It only works if you take notice of it!
good luck.
2007-11-03 04:59:56 · answer #3 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just say I'm sorry but i never borrow money and i never lend money,if you can get this into a few conversations before people ask it saves a lot of bother.
2007-11-03 10:35:06 · answer #4 · answered by sas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don´t know. Just lend them it and think of it as you are a good person. Maybe they will do some thing in return. Or god might give you double what you gave them.
2007-11-03 04:34:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just say no. You don't have to explain yourself, just say no and be done with it. I have been there, lend money and you never see it again, Do yourself a favour and jusr say NO, if they are any sort of friend they will respect your decision
2007-11-03 04:30:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't lend anyone any money i have done it in the past and no way would i ever again unless it was to family just say your money is tight and your skint why should you give your hard earned money away.
2007-11-03 04:31:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont lend any1 money then you wont have that problem, just say i dont lend money to friends it causes problems
2007-11-03 06:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never lend people money....it gives them amnesia....
2007-11-03 05:37:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them "you would if you could, but it only upset's a friendship in the long run",
2007-11-03 09:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by pigeonlegs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋