My 40 yr old husband is 40 going on 21. He HAS to go to the bars every night of the week, he has to have his "regulars" he sees there, he has to always be popular and everyone has to like him and know him. He does all this at his families expense. I am 30 and our daughter is 5. He comes home very late, drunk nightly. I am chronically tired due to this and have lost my job because I simply can't perform on the job feeling like this. Last night it was the worse. He didn't come home until 3am this morning and knew he had to work for 8. He was ranting and yelling and throwing stuff all over the house at 6:30am when the clock went off. I told him he did it to himself. He insults me all the time. No matter what job I get it isn't good enough and I am worthless. This morning he told me (during his little tantrum) that he was sick of me and I don't ever make enough money. What? Money so he can get drunk? What do you think I should do? I am crying all the time...
2007-11-03 03:12:38 · 23 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is emotionally abusing you - and emotional abuse is often more damaging than physical abuse. An emotional abuser is often very selfish (like your husband).
YOU need to do some things.
1. Realize he is never going to change and you can't change him.
2. Call your local domestic violence center and YOU need to get yourself into therapy ASAP.
3. Eventually, you will leave him. It is inevitable because you love your daughter and you want her to live in a healthy home in a healthy family. Even YOU want a healthy family life. What your husband is doing is completely wrong and is making his entire household toxic.
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2007-11-03 03:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dina K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that sounds like my childhood. Get out until he gets help. He's an alcoholic. Your daughter will thank you. There is no reason to put your daughter through all that, much less yourself. You are her mother and your first job should be protecting her, period. Part of protecting her is protecting yourself so that you can be there to take care of HER. Make a plan and leave him. Let him know that if he can be sober for 1 year you will come back and try again (if you want that). It might shock him into reality, it might make him drink more. It's what you have to do. Make a plan and get out as soon as possible. Go stay with family or friends until you get on your feet. Being happy is so simple and it's not going to happen while you're living with him. Good luck, you can do this! :)
2007-11-03 03:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Husband acting childish?
2014-12-15 23:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that feels like my babies. Get out until he gets help. he's an alcoholic. Your daughter will thank you. there is not any reason to place your daughter via all that, much less your self. you're her mom and your first job could be protecting her, era. area of protecting her is protecting your self so as which you'll be there to look after HER. Make a plan and circulate away him. permit him comprehend that if he could be sober for a million twelve months you will come again and take a glance at back (in case you decide on that). it would marvel him into actuality, it would make him drink greater. this is what you may do. Make a plan and get out as quickly as achieveable. circulate stay with kinfolk or friends until you get on your ft. Being happy is so common and it is not going to ensue while you're residing with him. stable success, you're able to try this! :)
2016-10-01 22:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you marry my X husband?
He insults you to make you feel unworthy so he can continue to manipulate you, to enable him to continue drinking. Your husband is an alcoholic. This isn't uncommon behavior of alcoholics and/or abusers. They want everyone else to like them so that no one would ever believe that they could treat their family the way that they do.
I can't tell you what you should do, I can only tell you what I did. But I do have to ask, is this the type of life you want for your child? Do you want her to think this type of marriage is acceptable? Make positive change, less you perpetuate the cycle and she ends up living a miserable life as well.
visit the website above!!!! It helped me realize. It looks cheesy, but there is a ton of great information on that website. One thing I got from it, and I'm paraphrasing; Dump the guilty, this is about survival. You are responsible for taking care of the wonderful gift you were given; your mind, your body and your soul. And in your case your daughter's as well.
2007-11-03 03:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is only a matter of time before his verbal abuse turns physical. I think the next time he goes out you should pack you and your daughter up and go to a friend or relatives house. Leave a note that tells him that unless he gets into AA and gets the help he so desperately needs you will not come home. For good measure why don't you make a recording of his next drunken rant and leave it for him to listen to with the note. My mother married a man who was terrific, thoughtful, and great with her kids. He turned into a drunken monster after the honeymoon. She later found out this was no sudden change and he had the same problem with his last 5 wives (he never told her about that). He turned verbally abusive first, then became physically abusive later on. As a child in that situation I lived in fear constantly, this is not what you want for your child. Please get out and get help.
2007-11-03 03:26:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jen N 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him he needs help.
Your 30 ,you still have time to find some that will take care of you and your girl. Your girl should not be seeing or hearing that kind of stuff. Just keep calling the cops on him and make reports so when you leave him you have the proof of why you left his sorry butt.
Your kid comes first. Be a woman and take care of your kid FIRST and then your self.
Men like a woman that puts their children first before anything else.
2007-11-03 03:37:38 · answer #7 · answered by mightimouse247 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow.. is that what you call childish?? i call telling you that you have cooties childish! he is a drunk! and he is ruining your self image and your life! and not to mention what could be happening with your child's mental development!!! please talk to him about this very seriously and let him know that something has to change. and if he says ANYTHING close to what i think he will say... then you need to leave him girl!!!! maybe if you leave him he will wake up and change his ways, but maybe not. NO ONE is worth being so down that you cry all the time. and your daughter needs her mother. not an emotional train wrecked shell of her! please make the moves you need to make to get yourself and your baby out of this situation.
2007-11-03 03:53:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should do something about it. This isn't a very healthy situation for you, nor your daughter. I wonder, how long this has been going on? Talk to him and maybe give him a chance to change his ways and if he doesn't want to hear it then you should be on your way. If he cares about his family he will do something about it. You owe it to yourself and your daughter. Life is too short to go through all that.
2007-11-03 03:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is emotionally abusing u now, wat if that turns into physical abuse, and u say u have a daughter... make him get help for alcohol abuse or leave, its a downward journey from where u are now things are gonna get a lot worse if you stay and don't act now do u want that for you and your innocent daughter? I left an abusive relationship cos he wouldn't admit he had a problem, i blamed it all on me and i was the boring one. I got out with my daughter and I never looked back.
2007-11-03 03:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋