How long can a married guy stay without having sex with his wife??

Question

My husband and I haven't had any sex about 5 months ago, his excuse always is that I'm always mean to him and the kids don't let us. We had been argueing alot lately because of money issues but before when I was working he still act the same. Now I feel like an old couple we go to the same bed every night and nothing happen.
How can a guy be without any for so long??
Im not a sex freak but I need some and so what is the whole purpose of marrying somebody if u don't get any??
Could it be some other reasons?
Please help me understand my husband..

I tried everything allready, kids spend the night at moms and still NOTHING happens, I try to play around and touch him and set the mood but before I know it he wants to go to sleep and tells me maybe we do it tomorrow morning...WHAT?? I don't like to plan it..and why should I if we are home alone it can just happen any time and anywhere..
We talked about it and I'm not mean he just likes to argue about every single thing. Then it might happen like one time and it goes another three to four months until we do it again.
I didn't married to have sex all the time but he is my stable sex partner for ever until death us apart.

Answer 1

i am not trying to be negative, but have you thought that he might have been with someone else and possibly gotten some kind of std. It seems too long for no intimacy. if he wanted to ....he would find a way ...all the rest are excuses...

Answer 2

First and main thing: honey, we females will never understand men.

I have been through the same thing as you. No sex for weeks or months. He blamed me, says I was the one who didn't want it. He initiated sex for the first years of our relationship (we have been together for 4) and now it was my turn. We always fought about money and his mother (whom lives with us), we have a 2 year old who still keeps me up some nights, I work full time, he owns his own business and doesn't get home until late and I leave early.

There is a whole list of excuses from him. But in the end it makes you feel unwanted, unattractive to him anymore, etc. Am I right? Talk to him. If he won't listen in while sitting in the living room in the evening. Catch him when you go to bed. I personally think they get to a point in there life when they think us women need to show them that we are still attracted to them. I finally took things into my own hands. I rolled right over on him, started the foreplay and so forth, in the end he couldn't say no. :) Try that. If he is like any other man out there after fondling, etc. he won't be able to say no. Even get right on top. Usually throws them off but what the hell we only live once.

Answer 3

Five months is too long! I did not quite understand this always mean to him thing that you said. Have you tried to be the aggressor in bed? If you want sex then go get it and if he turns you down when you try then there is something terribly wrong. There is no way that when a woman turns a man on that he can stop. If you do this and he does not respond then he has another woman or an illment.. You best find out.

Answer 4

sweetie you and your husband need to sit down and have a serous talk, there is something going wrong within your marriage and it will not improve until you find out what the problem is, you need some time with just the two of you no kids, is there grandparents or someone who could look after the children while you and your husband spend some quality time together, if not put the kids to bed and have a meal with your husband tell him your insecurities and that you think you need to get your marriage back on track but you do not wish to have an argument, hopefully your husband will open up to you and tell you what is on his mind, your marriage has got stuck in a rut and you need to shake things up and put some spice back into the relationship, a marriage needs to be worked at and if communication breaks down it snowballs into something serious, you really need to put some time aside for just the two of you and talk your problems out, no one can tell you why your husband is feeling like this but if you don't find out why then your marriage will suffer, your husband may be feeling the same as you but thinks you are upset with him, talk to him and see if you can get the loving relationship back that you used to have, good luck honey i hope it all works out for you and your husband.

Answer 5

1) It's hard to have sex if you feel pressured by the stress of the marriage and its problems. There's nothing as unsexy as going through the day, and then feeling like u hafta when your so not in the mood. Stress will kill anybodies libido, and though 5 months seems long. My DH and I went through a 3 month stretch where work and family pressures left us fighting, dazed and confused, and very unsexy.

2) You have to explore the possibility that he is distancing himself from you because he is getting it elsewhere. Either through porn addiction or another woman. If this is the case, pack his bags for him, he's unhappy. We don't marry someone for them to be unhappy, we want them to be the best they can be. Which are you you being the best you can be? Sometime I find when we want to nuture the relationship we forget about nuturing ourselves. Low self esteem is very unsexy.

3) Like all things this too shall pass. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

Sounds like he's gone off you. Maybe as some sort of punishment for the arguments over money. Doesn't bode well for the future long term. Try some counselling if you can get him along.
He may be cheating, but normally cheaters try to keep the home fires burning, unless they don't care if the marriage lasts or not.
People do get married expecting sex being a large part of the relationship, despite what some idiots think.

Answer 7

I've been in that situation and am now divorced. Firstly it is an indication that there are severe problems in the marriage. Secondly, if he feels he cannot solve it or it cannot be solved then he may, without conciously thinking about it, withold sex from you. It is a way of saying I don't want you to enjoy me (by having sex) when I am not/ cant enjoy you (because of the problems between us).

I suggest seeing a marriage counselor soon. I would also suggest not blaming him for it, things will deteriorate quicker.
Let him know that you think there may be problems and that you really want to solve them....that is if you sincerely do.

Answer 8

some people live platonically when they are married which I find weird, sounds to me like he is using emotional issues to avoid having sex. are you always mean? If so, look at that and don't nag/*****. You need to build in couple time, have fun romantic night sout wihthout the kids, build on the friendship. Then spice it all up in the usual ways, dressing up etc., confront it., the longer it goes on the more of an issue it will be..........He might be depressed, check that out...or stressed......

Answer 9

I think that you really need to sit him down and talk to him about the problem. If this doesn't seem to work, try to get him to go to counseling. It seems like there are alot more problems going on in your marriage such as the argueing and the money issues that could maybe get solved too.

Answer 10

i somewhat disagree with 'obviously me.' of course we don't marry just for sex but it's a big part of a healthy happy relationship & i don't blame u for being frustrated. something is def wrong. u do know that if things aren't good outside the bedroom then it won't be good inside right? knowing what little u told us, if it were me, i'd try to work on improving & strengthening the relationship. listen to him about what he says bothers him & try to work on those things. if something isn't going on outside the marriage then maybe his testosterone(male hormone) levels are low. if it's a physical problem it can be remedied. psychological problems r harder to treat & near impossible if he doesn't even think there's a problem, but this isn't normal behavior in a healthy male.
if i love someone i'll do whatever it takes to insure his happiness b/c if he's not happy I'm not happy.
to answer your Q, i think it could go on indefinitely esp if he's doesn't seem overly concerned about it.
good luck sweety..sure hope u 2 get things worked out.

Answer 11

When a person masturbates he or she has a reason for it even married couples masturbate. It's a perfectly normal behavior, but if your sex life with your partner is little to none then you have to try a new approach to the situation. Try a new environment.